Chapter 4 — After Being Kicked Out of the Retirement Party, I Went to Germany for 50 Days

During my first week in Germany, An Kha took me to Neuschwanstein Castle. The white castle stands quietly at the foot of the snowy mountain, as beautiful as a dream straight out of a fairy tale. We took pictures amidst the white snow. Laughing without restraint. That was the first time in five years that I didn't need to pay attention to anyone's face. If you want to laugh, laugh. The second week, An Kha took me to a private meeting with her lawyer friend. Everyone sat around together. Chat about your work and life. Someone asked about my marital status. I hold a glass of wine. Silence for a few seconds. Then say it clearly:

“I am considering divorce.”

The moment that sentence was uttered. I felt a giant rock in my heart finally fall. An Kha's lawyer friend gave me a lot of professional advice.

"According to domestic marriage law, common property formed after marriage will in principle be divided in half. Furthermore, because she has shouldered most of the family responsibilities, especially taking care of the elderly, she has the right to request a larger share of the property when dividing."

I seriously wrote down every important point. By the third week, I started learning German. Every afternoon, I look for a quiet coffee shop. Sit by the window. Just read the book. Just wrote a diary. I wrote down every single thing that happened during those five years of marriage. Self-pity. Warm memories. Dissatisfaction that I had always deliberately ignored before. It's all written down. It wasn't until I wrote it that I realized it. Those wounds have long since gone deep to the bone marrow. News from the country kept coming in like snowflakes. Every day Phuong Vu Hang sends me WeChat messages:

“Mom asked when I'll be home?”

“When will you finally come back?”

My brother-in-law also asked in a roundabout way:

“Sister-in-law, are you angry with my mother?”

I don't answer to anyone. By week five. My mother-in-law, Tu Phuong Tien, personally made the video call. I hesitated a bit. Finally picked up the phone. On screen. She still maintained that cold expression. Still the look of always standing in a higher position than others.

“Diep Tri Thu!”

“You left for more than a month like that, what else can you do?”

“Do you still want to continue living in this marriage?”

I looked at her. My heart felt calm like never before. I called her by that title clearly.

“Your retirement party, a daughter-in-law like me is not qualified to attend.”

“So I think…”

“Maybe I don't have the right to return to that house anymore.”

The other end of the line. The mother-in-law was choked by that calm sentence. His face immediately turned red like pig liver. A few seconds later. She angrily hung up the video call. By week seven. I walked by Lake Konigssee. The lake surface is so clear that you can see the bottom. The snowy mountains in the distance are reflected in the water. Beautiful as a picture. I received a phone call from my mother. On the other end of the line, mother's voice was full of caution. Bring some self-pity.

“Thu Thu ah…”

“Your mother-in-law... she asked someone to call me.”

"She said... said that you don't listen, don't understand, and make her lose face in front of relatives."

Hearing my mother's voice mixed with her choking sounds. My eye sockets immediately turned red. Last five years. I bear all the pain myself. Never dared to tell one sentence with the family. I'm afraid they're worried. But Tu Phuong Tien dragged my innocent parents into this matter.

“I've had enough.”

My voice trembled. The other end of the line was silent for a long time. I heard my mother say in an extremely determined voice:

“Then don't come back!”

“Mom raised me!”

That moment. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. After hanging up. I squatted on the shore of the lake. Finally, I couldn't hold back and burst into tears. All the self-pity that had accumulated for five years. It all exploded in that moment. I dried my tears. Turn on your phone. Book a flight back home the next day. It's time. Time to return. And end it all.