Chapter 11 — After Divorce, I Counted 10 Years as a Nanny

The sun outside is very beautiful, even the camellia flowers on the steps have bloomed. I suddenly remembered the first time I stepped into the Chu family's house, my mother-in-law sat on the sofa, evaluating me from top to bottom, as if checking whether a household appliance was easy to use or not. At that time, I was confused, stressed, careful little by little, just hoping to please everyone. And now, I put on my uniform, high heels, calmly walk out that door, without looking at anyone's face anymore. I suddenly realized that even the wind is sweet. In the spring, the center promoted me. I started leading the project myself, also had my own team. After the meeting that day, Director Trinh smiled and said to me.

"Miss Lam, someone like you is very suitable to be a manager. Stable, decisive, clear in heart."

I smiled slightly.

“It's just being forced out by life.”

He also laughed.

“But not everyone is forced to become like that.”

After work, the sunset light outside the window is just beautiful. I packed my things and prepared to go home. The receptionist ran up and lowered her voice.

“Miss Lam, there is a man outside the door looking for you.”

I went out to see, it was Chu Minh Xuyen. He stood on the steps, wearing an old coat, and his body was thinner than when he divorced. Seeing me, he unconsciously took a step forward, then stopped again.

“What's the matter?”

He looked at me, his eyes complicated.

“Mom has recently recovered quite well, she told me… thank you.”

“Just business, no need to thank me.”

He smiled bitterly, as if hit by the phrase "it's just work".

“Lam Van, you are living well now.”

I nodded.

"That's right."

His throat moved slightly, as if he had a lot to say, but in the end he could only say one sentence.

“Before… it was me who was sorry for you.”

I looked at him and suddenly found this scene very funny. The words I waited for ten years, appeared again after everything was over, when I no longer needed them. The apology comes late, like expired medicine, no matter how well written the instructions are, it is no longer effective.

“It's okay to know.”

I walked around him and was about to leave. He suddenly called out from behind. I stopped.

“If you weren't so bad before, would we…”

“Not anymore.” I interrupted him.

He was stunned. I turned my head to look at him, my voice was light but clear.

"Chu Minh Xuyen, the biggest fear in life is not choosing the wrong person, but knowing the wrong person and still not being able to leave. Luckily I stepped out."

He stood there, eyes red. But that no longer concerns me. I walked in the afternoon light, the sound of high heels hitting the ground was clear and steady. The spring breeze blew, gently lifting the corner of the business card on my chest. My name is written on it. Not anyone's wife, not someone's nanny, nor an item that anyone can use if they need it. Just me. Later, someone asked me, after leaving the Chu family, what moment made me feel the most relieved? Not the day the court announced the verdict. It was not the day the Chu family signed a contract with the center. It's not the day Chu Minh Xuyen stood on the steps with red eyes and said regret. But it was a very normal morning, I woke up at six o'clock, there were bird sounds outside the window, sunlight falling on the newly bought curtains, I suddenly realized that today I don't need to cook breakfast for anyone, I don't need to remember whose medicine is gone, I don't need to hear anyone complaining about the salty food, and I don't need to be woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of "Lam Van". I just lay like that, quietly watching the sky is getting brighter. At that moment, for the first time, I felt that living was a relief. It turns out that a woman has her best days, not necessarily because she married the right person. But maybe one day, she will no longer use herself to fill other people's voids. As for the people who once considered you a free nanny, something for granted, something they could use as they wanted, it wasn't until you really left that they understood one thing. It's not that you can't leave that house. But that house cannot be without you. Unfortunately, they realized it too late.