Chapter 2 — After Menopause, I Found Out I Was Pregnant

From the hospital to home, the journey that day was unusually long. Chu Chi Minh did not say a single word. He stared straight ahead, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. The scene outside the window receded like a silent movie. The air in the car was so stuffy that it almost froze. I sat in the passenger seat and wanted to open my mouth several times, but as soon as the words reached my throat, they were swallowed back. The profile of his face was tense, his jaw clenched like stone. Having known each other for more than twenty years, I have never seen him like this. We loved each other in college and then got married, and now our son is eighteen years old. In my eyes, Chu Chi Minh has always been a gentle and responsible man. No matter how big the problem was, he took it upon himself and never made me feel worried. But today… he was so unusual. The coldness radiated from the very marrow of my bones, making my heart chill.

“Chi Minh…”

Finally, I still couldn't help but speak up. He didn't react, like he didn't hear.

“What did the doctor tell you?”

I raised my voice a little more. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel until they turned white.

"Nothing."

The voice seemed to be forced from between teeth.

"Nothing?" I burst out laughing in disbelief. "Is it okay that the doctor had to call you in? Is it okay that you had that look on your face when you came out?"

“Nothing, why are you looking at me like I'm an enemy?”

Each question rushed towards him. The car suddenly shook violently. He seemed to have applied the brake and then quickly released it.

“Tan Tranh.”

He called me both my first and last name.

“Can you be quiet for a moment?”

My heart ached. After so many years of marriage, this was the first time he called me in that unfamiliar voice. Normally he always calls me "Tanh Tranh" or "wife".

“Chu Chi Minh, you have to tell me.”

My attitude also stiffened.

“This is my body, I have the right to know the truth.”

He took a deep breath, as if trying to suppress something.

“The doctor said I just have a normal endocrine disorder.”

"Menopause followed by menstruation is also a common phenomenon, nothing serious."

"Pay attention to rest, don't think too much."

He spoke very quickly, very fluently, as if reciting a prepared paragraph. I do not believe. I don't believe a word. If it's just a normal endocrine disorder, why does Dr. Vuong need to take it so seriously? Why is there a need to call him in privately and say "very special situation"? He's treating me like an idiot.

“You are lying.”

I said coldly. He immediately turned to look at me. His eyes were filled with anger and impatience.

“You lied?”

"Tan Tranh, is life so peaceful that you keep making trouble?"

"The doctor said it's okay, what else do you want?"

I was stunned by his yelling. Tears immediately welled up in self-pity. I'm not looking for trouble. I'm just scared. I just want to know the truth. Yet in his eyes, my insecurity became an unreasonable cause of trouble. My heart turned cold in just a blink of an eye. I turned to look out the window and didn't say another word. Tears silently slid down her cheeks. The rest of the way was lost dead silence. When he got home, he threw the car keys on the cabinet next to the door and went straight into the office. The door slammed shut. I stood alone in the middle of the empty living room, just feeling cold from the inside out. The house I had lived in for twenty years... suddenly became extremely strange. In the evening, I still cook rice. These are all the things he likes to eat. I waited at the table for a long time, but he still didn't come out of the office. I went to knock on the door.

“Chi Minh, come out and eat.”

“I won't eat it, I don't have any taste.”

His voice echoed through the door, heavy and impatient. My hand was on the door handle for a long time but I couldn't move it. That night, we slept separately. Except for business trips, this is the first time after getting married that we slept in two different rooms. I lay on the spacious bed, opened my eyes all night, unable to sleep. I lay in bed, recalling everything that happened today over and over again. Doctor Vuong's expression. Chu Chi Minh's eyes. That closed door. The saying “very special condition”. Everyone is telling me that this is absolutely not simple. Chu Chi Minh is lying to me. He is hiding a very big secret. After all… what is the secret? In the middle of the night, when I was about to fall asleep, I heard the master bedroom door open. I immediately held my breath, closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. I felt Chu Chi Minh come in and stand next to the bed. He stood for a long time. I could feel his eyes like headlights scanning my face. There was no longer any familiar gentleness in that look. There is only scrutiny and coldness. My heart was beating wildly, almost jumping out of my chest. What is he looking at? What does he want to do? Finally, he turned and left. I heard the balcony door being pulled open softly. After a while, I quietly got out of bed, walked to the bedroom door and looked out through the crack. Chu Chi Minh was standing on the balcony, his back facing me. He's on the phone. The night was so quiet it was scary, his voice was very low but I could still hear him clearly. He seemed to be arguing with someone, his voice full of frustration and helplessness.

“…How did I know it would turn out like this?”

“Don't panic first!”

“I told you to let me think of a way!”

Suddenly, seemingly having had enough, he growled:

“Why did she come at this time…”

The sentence hadn't finished yet, but the rest was like a hammer hitting my heart hard.

Who is the "she" in Chu Chi Minh's mouth... in the end?

That sentence was like a poisonous thorn deep in my heart, tormenting me all night long. The next morning, when Chu Chi Minh woke up, I was already sitting on the living room sofa. I stayed up all night, my eyes filled with blood. When he saw me, he stopped, his eyes slightly avoiding me.

“Wake up so early?”

He stepped forward, seemingly wanting to say something. I didn't answer, just stood up and went straight to the bathroom. The woman in the mirror had a haggard face, dark eye circles, and looked like a witch. It's only been a day... I've been tormented like this. I turned on the faucet and continuously splashed cold water on my face. I have to stay awake. I can't continue to sit still and wait for death, and I can't let him use lies to deceive me anymore. I have to find the answer. When he came out of the bathroom, Chu Chi Minh had changed his clothes and was ready to go out.

“The company has an early meeting today.”

He picked up his briefcase, not even daring to look directly at me, and quickly changed his shoes. I called him back.