Chapter 16 — After Seeing Through It, I No Longer Love You

The other side was silent for a moment, the voice softened.

"Ninh Ninh, you're not stable right now, don't say things like that. Let's talk about the house slowly. If you find that my name is not safe, you can notarize your pre-marital assets. Don't touch a penny of mine, okay?"

“It's not a matter of adding or not adding names.” I said slowly, "It's just that I suddenly realized that, over the past three years, all of your 'nice things' for me... can be bargained for in the face of benefits."

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you were under pressure, you had to buy a house to get married, you had to take care of your parents, I understand.” I looked straight ahead, "But understanding... does not mean obligation."

"You can be pressured, it can be difficult, but you don't have the right to turn those things into reasons for me to bear."

"You told me to return the house I bought, take the money to take care of your parents, saying that would give you 'peace of mind', and if I didn't do it, it would be selfish and I wouldn't love you."

“You were just too hot at that time.” He quickly said, "You know my family's situation, your father can give 500,000 yuan, but what do my parents have? Of course I want to help them a little more."

“Then just tell them, it's you who's taking advantage... not that I owe them.”

Tu Ngang choked.

“It's easy for you to stand on my father's side and say it.” He laughed coldly, "Someone like you, who hasn't been short of money since childhood, can't understand our difficulties."

“So what?” I asked, "Because it's 'difficult', do you have the right to force me to sacrifice my principles? Because it's 'difficult', so you are allowed to plan step by step to turn my money into yours? Because it's 'difficult', so I become a pawn for you to manipulate?"

“You must understand that?”

“So you tell me how to understand.”

The other side was silent. A moment later, Tu Ngang's voice lowered.

"What do you want me to say? Saying I don't care about those 500,000 yuan? That's a lie. Saying I only care about you, don't care about your family? It's also a lie. Ninh Ninh, I'm not a saint, I also want to live well. I saw your father gently take out that much money... I couldn't help but think."

“What you want to think about is your business.” I replied, “But you shouldn't use it that way.”

“You are my girlfriend.” His voice rose, "You already have it, what's wrong with me having a part? Your father gave you so much, you share a little with me, a little with my parents, is it so difficult? If you really love me, you won't calculate like that."

That sentence was like a dull knife, bit by bit cutting into my heart.

“What do you mean by ‘love’?” I asked.

“It's two-way giving.” He didn't hesitate, "It's not just about thinking about yourself. Now you're at Tien Duong Cong Quan, holding the money your father gave you, saying you want independence, want freedom, have you thought about my pressure? What will I use in the future to stand on equal footing with you? How will your father look at me?"

“So what do you want me to do?” I asked, "Pay off the house? Give the money to your parents? Then give you half the ownership of the house?"

“I'm not that greedy.” He immediately argued, "I just want to see your attitude, you are willing to sacrifice a little for this family, think a little about my parents... that way I can feel secure."

“But you never asked me… whether I wanted it or not.”

The air between the two only left the sound of breathing. A long time later, Tu Ngang spoke.

"Ninh Ninh, I've been influenced by that best friend. People like him have been conditioned since childhood Well, everything seems so light, if you follow it, sooner or later you will regret it.”

“I won't regret it.”

“Are you sure? Now if you break up with me because of this small matter, if you meet someone else later, won't they consider it? Do you think everyone is like your father?”

I didn't answer right away. Suddenly realized… it was useless to continue this conversation. Because we stand in two different positions, looking at the world completely differently. I can understand your pressure, understand that you love your parents. But the way he understands "love"... is that I have to constantly step back. I don't want to spend my whole life proving I'm not selfish.

“Tu Ngang.” I said slowly, “I don't want to argue anymore.”

“So what do you want?”

“Let's stop here.”

“What do you mean by division?” His voice suddenly rose, “What do you think of me? An item, tired of using it and then throwing it away? Have you thought about my feelings?”

“When you and your mother were discussing how to 'squeeze' me, so that I would cry and come back to beg you... did you think about my feelings?”

There was a heavy noise from the other side, like he kicked something.

“I admit I was wrong.” He gritted his teeth, “I admit that those days I wanted to let you know that I also have limits. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. You nailed me just because of a few text messages... Is that fair?"

“Love is not a golden card to avoid death.” I said, “It's not an excuse for you to rationalize everything with just one sentence, 'I'm also for the family'.”

“Talking so much… don't you want to continue?”

I closed my eyes.

“I wanted to.” I said very softly, "But I don't want... while I'm with you, little by little I lose myself."

The other end of the line was silent for a long time. It took so long that I thought the call had ended. Finally, he spoke.

“So what are you going to do?”

“We canceled the wedding.” I said, "Return the bride price, return the congratulatory money, pay what can be paid, if you can't pay, then write clearly. I won't take a penny from you... don't even think about mine.”

“You're forcing me to turn against you.”

“I'm just giving us a decent ending.” I stopped, "Tu Ngang, you can hate me, you can scold me for being pragmatic. But at least this… I won't make things difficult for you. And I also hope... you don't make things difficult for me anymore."

The other party laughed, a bitter laugh.

“Kind…” he repeated, “Now will you tell me two words of kindness?”

“If you don't need it… then we can just end ugly.” I said calmly, "After all, these past few years... I've been ugly enough."