Chapter 7 — Buddhists and Bloodsuckers

7The doctor recognized me, hesitated for a moment, then told the truth: "General Manager Tham's condition... is not very good." "Not good... what do you mean?" – my voice trembled. "A few years ago he had a car accident and suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Too dependent on physical contact to confirm his sense of safety. Recently, his reaction to withdrawing from contact has been very intense, and there has been a tendency to self-harm."I saw Tham Ky Nien's medical record. The patient explained: Every time we're intimate, I'm afraid she'll pretend to be asleep. I have to hear her heartbeat to be sure she's alive. Warning: Being too dependent on physical contact to confirm your existence can easily cause your partner to misunderstand you as a sex addict. I finally understood… that crazy possessiveness, was just an insecure child desperately holding on to his only ray of light. I cried so much I couldn't breathe and my ears were ringing. He used to treat me like that, not because he was perverted, but because he was afraid I would disappear. What about me? I'm personally pushing you to hell. "General Manager Tham's body is not in good shape. He recently started vomiting blood, possibly with cancer." "Where is he?!" At this point, I don't want to hear anything else, I just want to see you. I held the doctor's sleeve, my voice trembling: "Tell me." The doctor shook his head: "This morning he was on a flight abroad for treatment." My legs were weak, I almost collapsed. You... are gone. I suddenly felt regretful. I frantically searched for my phone and dialed the number I knew by heart. The bell rang for a long time... but no one picked up. I said goodbye to her, asked Tham Ky Nien's secretary for the address, bought the earliest flight, and flew abroad. I stood in front of his villa abroad, pressed the bell three times, but still no one answered. The bodyguard coldly stopped me. "Luc Gia, General Manager Tham said... no see." "Tell him, I will wait here!" I gritted my teeth and sat straight down on the steps. The rain began to fall, cold on my face. I waited for three hours, soaking wet, before finally hearing the door open. Tham Ky Nien stood at the door, his face pale, his eyes suppressed with overwhelming emotions. "Luc Gia, have you made enough trouble?" I raised my head to look at him, the rain mixed with tears flowing down. "I'm not causing trouble, I'm here to take you home." His fingers tightened on the door frame, blue veins appeared, his voice was cold as ice. "We are divorced." "But we haven't gotten the divorce certificate yet, we are still husband and wife." I jumped up and took out the words. In his pocket, he found a torn divorce agreement: "Look, I tore it up! I'm not getting a divorce!" His eyes stopped on the shredded pieces of paper, darkened for a moment, and finally he just tiredly closed his eyes. "Go home, don't come to me anymore." You won't live much longer, there's no need to involve another person. The door closed with a "bang". I stood in the rain, my whole body shaking. The next day, I climbed straight over the wall into his garden. Tham Ky Nien was drinking coffee on the balcony. When he saw me, the cup fell to the ground with a "bang" sound. "Luc Gia." His voice trembled: "Are you crazy?" I brushed the dust off my hands and smiled at him: "Tham Ky Nien, your walls are easy to climb." His face darkened and he strode to hold my wrist tightly. "What do you want to do?!" "I miss you." I raised my head to look at him, my eyes red. "Tham Ky Nien, I miss you." His breath stopped, his fingers trembled slightly, and finally he suddenly let me go. "Don't say these words anymore." Because you will consider it as really. "Why?" I took a step forward. "Obviously you miss me too." He stepped back, as if afraid of touching me. "Luc Gia, I've learned to let go, I won't force you anymore in the future."