Chapter 1 — Childhood Only Has Leftovers

After working part-time during the summer vacation, I discovered that the rice my family left for me always looked like leftover water. There were times when I couldn't find even a single piece of meat when four plates were gathered together. I could only add broth to cold rice and eat it, then wash the dishes. In the middle of the night, my stomach ached to the point of unbearable pain. I finally mustered up the courage to ask my mother: "Mom, can you stop leaving the food for me? It's more convenient for me to order food from outside, otherwise I'll be tired from work all day and have to wash the dishes." With her mouth, she agreed very easily, but the next day she still regularly left the food the same. I shook my head helplessly, just considering this a sweet burden that my family gave me. Until one rare day when she had time to rest at home to eat, her mother still cooked four savory dishes and one soup as usual. As soon as I put my chopsticks towards the plate of braised meat, my mother used her chopsticks to push it away. Seeing me looking at her with puzzled eyes, my mother took out a few delicate small plates: "Your sister won't be home in a while, I have to leave some food for her." My throat seemed to be blocked by something: "Shouldn't you just leave the leftovers?" My brother glared at me angrily: "If you eat leftovers, aren't they leftovers? Leftovers and leftovers are not the same thing." My father nodded in agreement, and said, "You've always eaten leftovers, right? My leftovers were stuck in my throat, I couldn't swallow them and couldn't spit them out. I didn't argue or make a fuss. In my heart, I was just extremely lucky because when I registered for college, I didn't listen to my family's advice to choose a school in the city and chose Bang Thanh thousands of kilometers away. As soon as Luc An's younger sister returned, her mother immediately took the still warm rice out of the pot. In less than a minute, my sister was eating hot rice and soup. Luc Nhien's older brother stood at the dining table, helplessly watching Luc An eat greedily, the indulgence in his eyes was almost about to materialize. "Eat slowly, no one will compete with you. You're going out to play with your friends, why don't you eat something first?" Luc An raised his head, it was a confident look that only someone who is pampered has: "Mom will definitely leave the food for you. If you don't come home to eat, won't you betray your mother's heart?" Mom looked at him with reproachful eyes, her voice soft. extremely gentle: "Just good at making mom happy." Dad was watching TV, his eyes were not directed towards the dining table, but when he heard that warm conversation, he still couldn't help but curl his lips and smile. And I stood next to him like an invisible person, unable to blend in, and with no room to interject. I looked at the family of four, like I was watching a warm family situation movie. If I were not a member of it, I would certainly be moved by this harmonious family scene. Luc An finished eating half of the meal then frowned: "Mom, why isn't there any soup today?" Four salty dishes and one soup is my family's tradition, two dishes according to Luc Nhien's taste, two dishes according to my parents' taste. As for Luc An, he likes to eat anything, but every day there must be soup on the table for him to eat comfortably. Mom suddenly remembered something, patted her head and brought out a bowl of soup from the kitchen. That's a separate bowl of soup, not the soup at the bottom of the pot that I usually drink when I get home. Carrot corn rib soup, all three ingredients are complete, the ribs are also deliberately chosen the best part in the middle. The slopes are stacked high like a small mountain. Unlike me, there are times when you have to try a drink to guess what soup the whole family has for dinner tonight. My fingertips clenched until they turned white. Growing up, this was the first time I knew how to truly serve food. Not leftover rice and cold soup, accompanied by a pile of bowls and chopsticks that the last person to eat has to wash. It's not that I can't be biased. It's that I'm not loved. When that realization appeared in my mind, I didn't feel like waking up.

but only saw a sadness that made me unable to continue deceiving myself. I could barely breathe, my chest heaved violently several times, I almost cried out loud. But in order to retain what little self-esteem I had left, I tried to hold back. I couldn't continue torturing myself by looking at them anymore, so I stood up with difficulty and trudged back to my room. At this moment, my mother called me back. "Your sister has finished eating, please wash the dishes." That was not a discussion, but a matter-of-fact tone as if it was something I had to do. I suddenly felt very tired, even saying a word seemed to drain all my strength. "I'm so tired, can't he wash himself?" Luc An hadn't spoken yet, Luc Nhien said first: "Have you ever seen him wash dishes?" I lowered my eyes, said nothing and didn't move. An angry look appeared on her mother's face: "Why are you so lazy? I tell you to wash a few dishes but you have to invite me back and forth." Even the father who had always only stood outside and observed the conflicts in the family also joined in: "Your mother works hard every day to cook for the children, never complaining about being tired. Telling you to wash a few dishes but you keep pushing her." Hearing her father's voice become heavy, mother quickly continued: "Okay, your father is angry. There are only two or three bowls." It's just a plate, it's okay if you wash a little. You've been lying at home all day." As she said that, my mother winked at me, signaling me to quickly go down to the water, not to ruin the harmonious atmosphere in the family. I looked at the four people in front of me, they stood facing me. In that moment, they were one family united in dealing with outsiders. That outsider is me. No one gave me a chance to refute, everyone left their bowls on the dining table. After that, they gathered in the living room, excitedly discussing what they would prepare for Luc An and Luc Nhien when school started. One is in third year of college, one is in eleventh grade. And I'm a freshman about to enroll, and I'm the most unimportant person. I went up to collect the bowls and chopsticks, cold tap water and hot tears fell into my hands at the same time. I had to use all my strength to suppress the bitter feeling rolling in my heart. Outside the kitchen, they were still laughing and having fun. Luc Nhien wants a new pair of basketball shoes, Luc An wants a new tablet. I heard my father awkwardly say: "That would cost about ten thousand yuan. I originally only planned a total of ten thousand yuan to buy opening gifts for all three of us." I heard my sister cry out in disappointment, my mother said almost without hesitation: "Isn't Luc Tinh working part-time during the summer? He can earn his own money to buy it." I heard the living room be silent for a long time, then my father agreed: "That's fine, I'll make it up to him next semester." But he didn't know that from From small to large, I have never received any opening gift. Because my opening gift is always scheduled for the next semester. But I'm used to those never-ever-be-given opening gifts. There were times when I argued a lot, and my parents even said I was too calculating. I didn't rush out to argue with them, I just put the bowl and chopsticks in the disinfectant cabinet and turned on my phone to check the balance. Six thousand yuan. It was not just a monetary figure, but the starting capital that helped me escape this family. I dried my hands and walked out of the kitchen. Mom raised her head and looked straight into my eyes. I didn't avoid her eyes but stared, asking: "Mom, can you leave some food for me tomorrow?" My palm squeezed tightly. I thought she might refuse, or scold me for no reason. But I didn't expect my mother to just laugh softly, as if she was looking at a child causing trouble for no reason: "It's not every day that I leave food for you."

you?" "It's for something like today." Mom's smile stiffened for a moment, but she still nodded in agreement without hesitation. The feelings that had frozen in my heart began to take root and germinate again. Maybe mom just wasn't careful enough. Because this month I often needed her to help with the food, she didn't pay attention to those details. I comforted myself like that, to the point that my mood when I went to work part-time the next day was much better. Throughout the day, the corners of my eyes My lips were always curled up. My workmates even teased me about whether I was in love. As soon as it was time to get off work, I couldn't wait any longer and rushed home. I don't know if it was because I ran too fast or not, but my heart was about to jump out of my chest. I held back my excitement, opened the door and rushed straight to the dining table. Mom looked at me funny. "But when I saw the dining table, the smile on my face immediately froze. There were still four plates and soup bowls filled with leftover rice and leftover soup, along with the bowls of the family of four still intact on the table. Based on the leftover bones Luc Nhien and Luc An ate, I vaguely realized that tonight's salty dishes were chicken wings with cola sauce and salt-roasted ribs. The stir-fried vegetables with garlic were cold, just three yellow leaves floating. floating on the layer of oil. Today, I didn't even have a sip left. I just felt that everything was so meaningless. The fire that had been hot all day in my chest was now cold. When I touched my cheek, I didn't want to go back and argue with my parents. I took a picture of the leftover food, then sat at the dining table to order food. Mom was surprised and asked, "Didn't I already leave the food for you?" I didn't pay attention to her, opened the food box myself and started eating. Mom's face became extremely ugly. She snorted softly and went straight to the living room to watch TV. Then she lowered her head to play on the phone. Luc An was a very smart person. He realized that the atmosphere in the house was not good Again, just sitting quietly watching TV. The atmosphere in the house immediately became strange. There was only the sound of the TV and the sound of me chewing food. After eating, I picked up my own trash and put it in the bin. Then I turned around, took a shower, and went to bed, all the movements were seamless. No one mentioned the leftovers and no one touched them. They were forgotten by the whole family in a corner the next morning Brushing my teeth as usual, preparing to go out to work. Rarely did my mother call me back. It wasn't like when she told Luc Nhien to bring more money, to be a bit more generous when eating with friends. It wasn't like when she was concerned about whether Luc An had brought the key out or not to get exposed to the sun. But in a questioning tone: "Luc Tinh, what's wrong?" I looked at her in confusion: "What do you mean?" When eating, you must definitely order food from outside. The house also refused to be cleaned, the bowls and chopsticks on the table were as if they were invisible. I wasn't like that before." Mom's sentence "You weren't like that before" was like a poisonous needle piercing my heart, both painful and numb. "Because I don't want to eat leftovers anymore." I looked at my mother, slowly saying each word. "Because my brother is a boy, he doesn't have to do housework, and my sister, because he's the youngest, doesn't have to do housework." My voice was as calm as a dead puddle. "But mom... Why am I so unlucky? So, both a daughter and a sister?