Chapter 1 — Emotions That Never End

The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, in the middle of the night, his ex-girlfriend suddenly opened the door and rushed into the bedroom. I could clearly feel his shock. The room immediately fell into dead silence. “Tong Nguyen.” She spoke with a choked voice, so hoarse that she couldn't breathe. But he acted as if nothing had happened, his tone was calm: "Get out."1 "Bang!" The door was slammed shut as expected, the sound echoed forever in the quiet night. I heard my voice muffled and asked: "Why does she know the password to your door...?" Tong Nguyen stopped for a moment, continued to kiss me, his voice was so low that it was almost inaudible: "We broke up... forgot to change..." "Is that so." I unconsciously turned my face away to avoid his touch. He was stunned, turned my face around with his hand, gently stroked my skin with his fingers, and slowly said as if reassuring: "Really." Facing his deep black eyes, devoid of any desire, I couldn't say anything for a moment. In my confusion, I remembered Tham Bang - his ex-girlfriend - who had just left. This afternoon, she deliberately sent me a harassing text message: "He's just something I don't need anymore. Believe it or not, I just need to wave my hand and he'll come right back." At that time, Tong Nguyen was sitting right next to me, reading that message but his face remained calm, as if the person saying it wasn't him. On the contrary, I was the only one who was silently angry. It's not because I'm afraid that Tong Nguyen will be stolen from me - I'm not so jealous or suspicious of my feelings for him because of my ex-lover's baseless provocation. Just feel a bit sorry. And… sorry for him. I was about to say something when Tong Nguyen suddenly leaned closer, without saying a word he kissed my lips, his voice was hoarse, vaguely mixed with a hint of seduction: "Wife... tonight, don't come home again." Tong Nguyen is inherently a cold person, kissing between us is still rare, but this was the first time he called me "wife" in such an intimate voice, and also the first time he proactively offered to get close to me - I didn't refuse. Unexpectedly, he was caught by Tham Bang. At that time, her whole face was pale, looking a bit pitiful. But Tong Nguyen didn't look at her once the whole time. Is it that I don't dare to look... Or... I don't dare to look? A "bang" rang in my ears, bringing me back to reality. Followed by lightning streaking across the sky outside the window, the light shone on Tong Nguyen's cold face. "It's raining." I blurted out. Tong Nguyen suddenly stopped, quickly raised his head to look out, something seemed to flash in his cold eyes, not sure what he was thinking. I looked at him dumbfounded. Having been together for so long, no matter how well he hid it, I still easily recognized the emotions in his eyes. I'm worried. Worried about Tham Bang - who is probably out there in the rain. And he is also regretful. Regretting being with me tonight. 2 The cold spread from my chest, quickly covering my whole body, my fingertips trembled slightly, and I suddenly pushed him away. Tong Nguyen quietly withdrew his eyes and looked towards me. In his eyes, I saw my image - pathetic and confused. I bowed my head: "Go out first, I want to change." A complicated look appeared on his face, but he didn't say anything, just quietly walked out. After cleaning up, I walked out of the bedroom, just in time to see Tong Nguyen holding an umbrella in one hand, with the other hand constantly calling, standing at the door. The voice prompt on the other end kept ringing: "The subscriber you dialed is currently unavailable..." On his face, worry and restlessness were increasingly evident. I looked at it in bewilderment, not paying attention to something under my foot, and my knee hit the corner of the table so hard that my bones broke.

out, it hurts like hell. Not wanting Tong Nguyen to find out, I tried to suppress the pain and quickly sat down on the sofa next to me. Hearing the noise, Tong Nguyen hesitantly turned his head, saw me, his lips pursed tightly, and after a long time he spoke: "It's raining so hard, she wasn't mentally stable when she went out, I can't let something happen to her." The sharp pain from my knee spread to my whole body, I bit my lip, the plea almost spilled out of my mouth: "Don't go... okay?" "Sorry, Duong Man." He did not hesitate at all. The strings in my head seemed to be stretched to the point of breaking one by one. The already fragile self-esteem finally collapsed. I stood up with difficulty, hobbled forward, tears immediately blurring my vision. "Tong Nguyen, you really should say sorry to me." I took a deep breath, quickly used the back of my hand to wipe away my tears: "If I can't forget her, then why do you still come to me?" "Is it just temporary? Or finding fun in the empty moment?" When I said the word "finding fun", my voice began to choke. But I still raised my head to look at him, stubbornly wanting to get an answer, even though I already knew the outcome. But my body wobbled and collapsed. Tong Nguyen promptly caught my waist: "What's wrong with your leg?" I looked at him, didn't answer. Tong Nguyen's face darkened. Without saying a word, he picked me up and placed me on the sofa. He took the medical box back and slowly pulled up my pant leg. His careful gesture made me momentarily stunned. The right knee was swollen, there was also a large scratch, dark red blood flowed down the curve of the calf, it was scary to look at. I also didn't expect it to be so serious. Tong Nguyen's eyebrows furrowed even deeper. He took out the antiseptic solution, his voice hoarse: "Try to bear with it." The next second, my knee suddenly felt cold and hurt so much that I reflexively squeezed his hand, my nails almost digging deep into his skin. Tong Nguyen didn't make a sound, just let me hold on. It was very difficult to finish disinfecting. He took out a tube of ointment, but looking at it, he knew it was almost gone. "I'll go downstairs and buy more." He stood up. I quickly grabbed his hand, my eyes were red. He paused, his long eyelashes drooped slightly, his eyes softened: "The pharmacy is right downstairs, at most ten minutes, I'll be right back." 3Three minutes, five minutes... Ten minutes... When I looked back at the phone, I realized I had been waiting for nearly three hours. The knee has long been painful to the point of losing feeling. My throat suddenly felt dry, a glass of water was placed nearby. I lifted my knees up, each movement was slow and stiff. It seemed so simple, but it took me nearly three minutes to move forward. Finally holding a glass of water, gulping it down in gulps, I discovered that the water Tong Nguyen poured before leaving was now completely cold. Maybe… wait a little longer. Just wait a little longer. When another hour passed, I started calling and texting Tong Nguyen continuously. He didn't pick up the phone. Didn't answer either. In my eyes gradually appeared emptiness and coldness. I don't know how much time has passed, I received a harassing text message from Tham Bang. There are two paragraphs of text and a photo of Tong Nguyen in the hotel kitchen cooking ginger tea. In the photo, his hair and shirt are both soaked. He obviously brought an umbrella, but he was still completely wet. It looks miserable, but the eyes and facial expressions in the photo are strangely gentle and peaceful. "He said he had never touched you before..." "Ha, at that time he and I were just together..." 4Tong Nguyen returned at three o'clock in the morning. "Crap!" There was a light sound and the wall light at the door immediately turned on. The dim yellow light shined down, illuminating his pale, indifferent face. "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" He saw me sitting absent-mindedly on the sofa, seemingly a bit surprised. My hand holding the phone tightly paused, quietly looking at me.

"I'm going to line up to buy cheesecake, so we can have breakfast tomorrow." He held up the box in his hand and calmly put it in the refrigerator, "You know, that store only opens at midnight, so queuing is difficult." His tone remained calm as usual, as if nothing had happened. Seeing that I didn't say anything, Tong Nguyen frowned slightly and slowly walked closer to the sofa. "What's wrong?" He looked at me for a long time, then gently lifted my leg and placed it on his lap, bowing his head to check carefully, "Does your knee still hurt?" From this angle, I can clearly see his black hair covering the back of his neck, soft and shiny. It looks like it's just been washed and dried. Tham Bang's words from earlier came rushing back to my ears, bitter and arrogant, like they were exploding in my ears. Humiliation, shame, anger — all at once shattered all my defenses. I tried to suppress my trembling body, pulled my legs away from him, deliberately avoiding that intimacy. Tong Nguyen was stunned for a moment. "It's late, my knee is injured. I'll temporarily sleep on your sofa for one night. Tomorrow I'll transfer the money to rent a place to you." Tong Nguyen's eyes finally sank, his face visibly colder. "Duong Man, what are you angry at?" "Angry?" I repeated, raising my head to look at him, "Tong Nguyen, where did you go tonight?" His eyelids trembled slightly, but did not look into my eyes, "I went to buy medicine for you, then took the opportunity to line up to buy cake." "So... where is the medicine?" Tong Nguyen remained silent. "I called you fifty-eight times tonight, sent you a hundred and five text messages." "Before I left, I poured you a glass of water, told me it would cool in ten minutes at most, and you could come back and I could drink." "I don't know if she's okay... but my leg, it really hurts." The light in the room was quite dark, there was almost no expression on Tong Nguyen's face, only his fingertips were clenching, continuously rubbing the edge of the seam of his pants. This action means he is very upset — and wants to smoke. I blinked, trying to suppress the sting in the corner of my eyes, staring at that cold face, biting my lip until I felt the fishy taste of blood before I could hardly speak: "Tong Nguyen, let's break up." Almost immediately, Tong Nguyen squeezed my hand, his voice low: "I don't agree."