Chapter 8 — Fireworks Don't Light the Way Back

"I just think that since I'm your wife, I have to be obedient."

“You handed over my difficulties, my life and death, to another woman for approval.”

“From that moment on, I was no longer your wife.”

“I am an outsider, having to go through many layers of procedures to be worthy of receiving some alms from you.”

The blood on Chu Kinh Ngoc's face drained away, not a drop remained. He opened his mouth, but not a word came out. I suddenly remembered that grant application. Tong Tinh Van gave it to me, his smile both gentle and proud. Chu Kinh Ngoc stood right behind her and said: "If you want money, fill out the application. Once Tinh Van approves it, I will naturally release the money." I will never forget that scene for the rest of my life. I used to love him so much. Love so much that she's willing to give up her job, willing to learn how to be a qualified Lady Chu, willing to narrow her world to just revolve around him. But he himself taught me a lesson. That love without self-respect is more terrifying than poverty. Chu Kinh Ngoc's eyes were red, his voice almost trembling.

"Khuong Yen, you really know what's wrong."

"Now I understand how difficult it was for you at that time."

“Can you give me a chance? I will never let you suffer like that again.”

I shook my head. “It's too late.” He took a step forward: "It's not too late." I took a half step back, avoiding his extended hand. His hand stiffened in midair. I looked at that hand. Before, I really hoped he would hold my hand once. The times when I was made difficult by Tong Tinh Van, the times I stood helplessly in front of the hospital cashier window, or when my sister was in critical condition. But he never did that even once. Now, I don't need it anymore.

“Chu Kinh Ngoc.” I said, “I live very well now.”

His voice was hoarse: "What's good about life like this? I live in a tiny room, crowd the bus, eat boxed lunches from convenience stores, work overtime until late at night." I calmly replied: "But those things are all my own choice." He was startled.

“I live in a small room because I can pay the rent myself.”

“I jumped on the bus because I was willing to wait.”

“Whatever I eat, whatever I buy, I don't need to apply for anyone's permission.”

"I will never have to look at Tong Tinh Van's face again, nor will I need to wait for him to feel compassion again."

“You feel like it's not good, but for me, it's freedom.”

Chu Kinh Ngoc's eyes shattered into pieces. A long time later, he asked hoarsely: "What about you?" I looked at him.

"You are also the part I have to give up in that freedom."

His body staggered. I didn't look at him anymore, walked around him and headed towards the bus stop. Behind him came his restrained voice: "Khuong Yen, I won't give up." I don't stop walking.

“It's up to you.”

The bus just entered the station. I got on the bus, swiped my card, and found a seat next to the window. As the car rolled away, I saw Chu Kinh Ngoc still standing still in place. The streetlight shined on him, drawing a long shadow. I withdrew my sight. My phone vibrated, it was a text message from my colleague asking if I had brought the meeting documents tomorrow morning. I replied: "I brought it." Then put the phone in your bag. The city lights outside the window passed by quickly. I leaned back in the chair and slowly exhaled steam. The heart that used to ache every time it heard Chu Kinh Ngoc's name finally stopped beating so fiercely. I thought I would hate him. But it turns out, one day, even the hatred will fade. … On the other side. Tong Tinh Van sat in the apartment that Chu Kinh Ngoc once arranged for her, scrolling through photos on her phone. That was taken by someone else and sent to her.