Chapter 4 — Forgot Admission Notice

There were four people in this house, three people didn't know that the fourth person had taken the most important exam in their lives, achieved the most dazzling results, and had left. Mom slowly stood up, holding onto the edge of the bed, her legs were weak. “We have to go back.” "Now?" Dad looked at the time. “It's already eleven o'clock at night, the earliest flight is at six o'clock tomorrow morning.” “Then fly back tomorrow morning.” Mom's voice no longer trembled, but it was even scarier than trembling. It was the calmness that was suppressed to the extreme when realizing that something was irreversible. She went to the window and looked at the night sea in Sanya. The sound of the ocean waves in the distance came beat by beat, like some kind of heavy heartbeat. She suddenly remembered something. On the day of the high school graduation celebration party, her third uncle asked Ran Ran how her college entrance exam was going. What did she say then? “The university entrance exam is coming next year.” She said it herself. Right in front of all the relatives, right in front of Ran Ran. Her daughter sat in the corner, having just received the top one hundred scorecard in the entire province. But a mother like her smiles and tells everyone that this child will take the university entrance exam next year. Mom closed her eyes. The sea breeze outside the window was very strong, blowing the curtains. But she felt cold. The cold seemed to seep from every bone. 6 Early the next morning, the three of them took the earliest flight back. The taxi stopped under the apartment complex, mother almost ran to the third floor. The key is inserted into the lock, the door opens. The living room is clean and tidy, the floor has been mopped, and there is a key on the tea table. Only one key, alone lies there. Mom rushed into my room. The bed is neatly made, the blanket folded into a square. The wardrobe opened, inside there were only a few old clothes that my sister wore that were too tight and then stuffed them in for me. The textbooks and reference books on the shelves are all there, but the drawers are empty. There are no more personal items left. IDs, bank cards, miscellaneous small items, all were taken away. Mother stood in the middle of the empty room, looking around in all four directions. On the wall there was no certificate of merit, no photo, not even a sticker. This room looks like no one has ever lived in it. It was so clean that it didn't look like the place an eighteen year old girl had lived for eighteen years. Dad followed behind and walked in, also seeing this scene. “Where is the admission notice?” he asked. “Miss Liu said it was sent in July, where is the notice?” Mom suddenly remembered something, turned around and ran out to the living room, flipping through things on the tea table like crazy. Nothing. “That day!” She suddenly stopped, her voice trembling. "That day when we came back from outside, I threw my shopping bag on the tea table. He pulled something out from the tea table, I thought it was an advertisement, so I told him to throw it away." Dad didn't say anything. “That's the admission notice.” Mother's voice seemed to be forced out from between her teeth. "He placed the acceptance notice in the middle of the tea table, waiting for us to see it. I took the shopping bag over it and told him to throw it away." The living room was silent for a long time. The younger sister stood at the entrance, holding a bag of coconut candy brought from Sanya in her hand. “Mom, does she have to go to college?” No one answered. Mom started searching every corner of the house. She pulled out a red-covered notebook, the same notebook used to record money at the high school graduation celebration party. She turned to the last page and saw the words she had written: "The envelope given to Ran Ran's desk by an adult was unanimously counted as a gift to congratulate Duong Duong on passing high school." She looked at that text for a minute. Then she remembered. The two thousand yuan my uncle gave to Ran Ran, the envelope the eldest uncle stuffed for Ran Ran, the envelopes clearly said "for Ran Ran". All were recorded by her in her sister's account. “Why did I…” Mom muttered, her voice carrying an unbelievable confusion that even she herself found unbelievable. Not intentionally. She really didn't mean it. She just got used to it. Get used to all the resources revolving around Duong Duong, get used to the fact that Ran Ran doesn't need it, get used to the fact that Ran Ran never opens her mouth to ask for it. A child who has never opened his mouth to ask, in a family with limited resources, will automatically be classified as "don't need". It's not malice, it's inertia. But the inertia that kills people is deeper than malice. Four

Lie on the sofa, put your hands on your knees, bow your head. “I can't even remember what grade he's in.” He said, his voice very heavy. Mother did not respond. She picked up the phone and started calling everyone she could think of. Relatives, neighbors, parents of my middle school classmates. No one knows where I went. Because no one has ever cared about me. A person who had been invisible in this family for eighteen years, when he disappeared, also quietly without a sound. It wasn't until my mother called the twelfth phone call that on the other end of the line was the mother of my high school roommate. "Ran Ran? Didn't she pass the entrance exam to some university? I remember my daughter saying, it seems to be in the South, that special school far away." "Which school? What's the name?" "I don't understand this, please ask their homeroom teacher." Mom called Ms. Liu again.