Chapter 7 — Going Through Mistakes To Stay Together

I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where else I can go. Cross every street, pass every red light. I feel like I've returned to the time of that dark unrequited love. No, it's worse. At least then, that pain was still wrapped in the sweet shell of a secret. And now, I'm really about to lose him. Tears flowed, my world completely lost its color. If I hadn't stubbornly forced him to stay with me that year, things wouldn't have turned out like this. God, why do you tease me like that? I pedaled desperately, as if I was rushing down a road with no return. As night fell, my car's last battery ran out. I abandoned the bike, climbed over the fence by the beach, and jumped onto the rocks below. In front of him was the endless black ocean, with huge waves rolling, as if wanting to swallow everything in this world. Honey, I came to say goodbye to you. 9. I booked the earliest flight abroad. If possible, I really want to leave quietly, without leaving any trace. Both my ID card and passport were left at home, so I had to make another trip back. I pretended like nothing happened, texted my brother a message saying he was working overtime at the company. After procrastinating until two o'clock in the morning, I tiptoed back home. Afraid of waking him up, I didn't dare go into the bedroom to pack my luggage. I just quietly went into the office to get my passport and ID card. You must be sleeping very soundly by now. I grabbed the doorknob, hesitated over and over again but still couldn't push the door open. I stood outside the bedroom door. That small door, like an impassable abyss, stands between me and you. It was I who dragged you to hell. What qualifications do I have to meet you again? In this life, we were destined to only be siblings. Then it's better to... implicitly understand each other, from now on we won't see each other again. I swallowed the tears at the corner of my eyes and turned around to leave. Suddenly — snap — the light came on. I was startled. The bright lights made the living room look like it was daytime. My brother leaned against the wall, standing motionless, just like a statue. Are you… still standing here? My mind went blank, it took me a long time to find my voice again.

“You… why aren't you going to bed yet?”

“Where are you going?”

He raised his head and asked very slowly. The hand hanging next to me tightened little by little.

"I... didn't I already tell you, I work overtime at the company."

“Oh, overtime.”

He nodded, his face expressionless.

“I don't know when Van will need to go to the beach to work overtime.”

I was stunned.

“How do you know?”

He smiled coldly.

“That's right, how did you know?”

He walked towards me. Deep black eyes, deeper than the night sea. He gradually approached, I retreated until there was no way back. Toes touch toes. So close that I could see the storm brewing in his dark pupils. He looked at me, each word heavy:

“Not only that, I also know you booked a plane ticket abroad.”

“Where do you want to go?”

The man's eyes were filled with unwillingness. I opened my eyes wide, both surprised that he knew all my actions and not knowing how to respond. He raised his hand to touch my cheek, his movements were so gentle that they were nostalgic.

“A Dieu, I'm very worried about you me.”

“I saw you standing for a long time on the rocky beach overlooking the sea, saw you getting into a taxi, and then running around the center area round after round.”

“Does this house make you so uncomfortable, or... do you not want to see me, who lives in this house?”

“It's not… it's not like that.”

I shook my head. How could I not want to see you? I wish I could put you in my pocket, every second and every minute I don't want to leave you.

“So why don't you come back?”

The bottom of his eyes were bloodshot.

“If I hadn't found out, would you have taken your passport and flown away, so that I would never be able to find you again?”

He suddenly lost control and screamed. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. It was the first time I saw him like that — like a wild animal that couldn't control itself. I'm not afraid. Just feel heartbroken. An unprecedented feeling of despair weighed heavily on my chest.

“You…”

“A Dieu.”

He grabbed my shoulder forcefully, like a drowning person reaching for the last straw. He looked at me, his eyes filled with pleading.

"I told you, I absolutely have no regrets."

“I'm telling you... you don't regret it, right?”

I opened my mouth. Before I could make a sound, he suddenly leaned down and kissed me domineeringly. The person she raised with her own hands, just needs one look to know what she's thinking in her heart. Van Tieu fooled herself into thinking that as long as she didn't say it, everything wasn't over. I was stunned. How could that be? You clearly knew we absolutely couldn't, but you still kissed? I used my strength to push him away. But he squeezed me tightly, refusing to take a step back. Lips and tongues entangled each other, so fiercely that it seemed like they wanted to swallow me whole. I ruthlessly bit down. The fishy smell of iron immediately spread in the mouth. He paused for a moment, used his thumb to wipe the blood leaking from the corner of his lips, and smiled bitterly.

“What, no more kissing?”

“Bored so quickly?”

“So why did you still pretend to be affectionate and tease me before?”

“Why let me have it... then let me lose it?”

Obviously, he can play the role of an older brother all his life. It was her words "absolutely no regrets" that blocked all his retreats. Now she doesn't need him anymore. Even his status as her brother... he was no longer there. Van Tieu covered his face in pain and rubbed vigorously twice. A trembling voice came out from the gap:

“A Dieu, I beg you... don't leave me.”