Chapter 1 — Green Tea Today, Black Tea Tomorrow

I served as the secret mistress to both the Crown Prince of the capital and the ruthless tycoon of Hong Kong simultaneously. The two of them were like water and fire, sworn enemies locked in a bitter feud, sharing an obsession with the exact same white moonlight. Yet that beloved woman cared for neither, having married and subsequently divorced someone else. Consumed by unrequited longing and bitter frustration, they inevitably turned their pent-up agony upon me, dragging me through endless rounds of emotional and physical torment. A year later, the elusive white moonlight finally returned to the country, and I realized my kidneys were practically on the verge of failing. Determined to cash out my final payout, I made meticulous plans to slip away into the shadows. However, my dearest best friend—a descendant of an ancient lineage renowned for slaying demons and subduing spirits—took one look at me and shrieked as though an explosive ordinance had just detonated right beside her: "What the hell! Why on earth have you been simultaneously marked by two malevolent snake demons?!"

I had managed to play the role of the kept canary to two powerful men at the same time. Both arrangements had been voluntary on their part, initiated under the pretext that their families constantly harassed them with endless blind dates, leaving them desperate for a quiet sanctuary. As for myself, I desperately needed the money, creating a mutually beneficial transaction.

Yen Tu Tu was the most coveted catch in the entire capital. Cold, aloof, impossibly aristocratic, and possessing an aura of strict abstinence, he was so devastatingly handsome that he hardly looked human. In the boardroom, he was ruthless, vicious, and entirely devoid of mercy. Yet, the moment he broke his own pristine rules for the first time, he became hopelessly addicted, casting aside all restraint. Fireworks painted the night sky outside the towering glass windows. Amidst the deafening roar of explosions, he cast a sideways glance at me, his voice dipping into a glacial frost: "What should we do now? I find myself... missing..." The final word was entirely swallowed by the thunderous boom of fireworks. Yen Tu Tu leisurely wiped his hands with a damp towel, his long, slender fingers resembling polished jade—though to me, they were nothing less than exquisite instruments of torture. "My sweet pet, come here." I didn't dare move an inch. With agonizing slowness, he removed his gold-rimmed spectacles, unclasped his luxury watch, and loosened his tie. My legs instinctively began to tremble. He let out a soft, low chuckle, his gaze dropping lazily as a dangerous, mocking warmth laced his words: "You've cried this much already, come here and let me comfort you." I wanted to scream as if facing my own execution, while he remained impeccably elegant and pristine, entirely untouched by a single speck of dust. Only the faint, shimmering light dancing across his fingertips betrayed the storm within. He took a perverse pleasure in watching me unravel to the point of incoherence, much like a cat toying with a dying mouse, determined to play until the breath left my lungs. Then, towering above me with supreme arrogance while I lay utterly defeated, he would drag out the tail end of his syllables in a frantic, morbidly alluring tone: "Such a good girl, cry a little louder... you look even more adorable like that..." In short, Yen Tu Tu was nothing more than a beast draped in a tailored suit.

Chi Van Tung was hardly any better. Ruling over Hong Kong with an iron fist, his immense power and influence could literally shake the heavens. His sole hobby in life seemed to be competing directly with Yen Tu Tu. When they clashed, defeat meant he would cheerfully text me a hotel room number; victory meant he would send me one with even greater glee. He matched Yen Tu Tu in both staggering wealth and devastating good looks, with only one distinct difference—Chi Van Tung possessed zero finesse. He always charged forward blindly, hitting every target head-on like a wild, furious bull. Yet, bizarrely enough, despite taking this chaotic, demonic shortcut, the final outcome always felt strikingly similar.

For the past year, I had transformed myself into a master of time management. From Monday through Wednesday, I would fly to the capital, transforming into a sultry little vixen designed to captivate and seduce. From Thursday through Saturday, I would jet off to Hong Kong, morphing into a wretched, impoverished, and deeply pitiful white lotus flower. Sundays were strictly reserved for... kidney recovery. Massaging my aching lower back as if I had just been run over by an eighteen-wheeler, I stood on the balcony of my dilapidated slum apartment, sipping herbal medicine and gazing up at the night sky. That moon looked remarkably, terrifyingly large. I had to save every single penny to rescue my dearest best friend. Sou Khue Khue had been viciously trapped in a web spun by her biological father and wicked stepmother, ultimately locked away in a foreign psychiatric facility. Conducting investigations, greasing palms, and tracking down reliable contacts—every single step demanded exorbitant amounts of cash. I had racked my brain trying to figure out how to squeeze a bit more gold out of those two wealthy toads.

Alas, reality was rarely as cooperative as one hoped. The entertainment headlines buzzed with scandalous news: the white moonlight that both tyrants adored had, following a whirlwind romance, marriage, and subsequent divorce, once again become entangled in fresh dating rumors. Setting aside the veracity of these gossip columns, the underlying implication was terrifying—neither of these men was cast in the role of the male lead! In novels, whenever such a plot twist occurred, the only person destined to suffer was the pitiful canary trapped in the middle!

Sure enough, that fire of unrequited passion soon scorched me directly. During the first three days of the week, Yen Tu Tu thoroughly tormented me until I was on the brink of collapse. Pressing his lips close to my ear from behind, his raspy voice carried the heavy weight of a final warning: "I have never shared anything with anyone else. What do you think about that?" I understood completely. He wanted exclusive monopoly over his white moonlight. Yet the brand-new gossip reports claimed the beloved woman actually favored Chi Van Tung instead. Consequently, out of the goodness of my heart, I offered him some friendly advice: "In my professional opinion, you should probably let go and find someone better." His movements froze for a single, agonizing second. His massive hand nearly snapped my waist in half. Though naturally noble, rational, composed, and civilized, he ground his teeth and cursed viciously under his breath: "Damn it, my sweet pet sure has a lot of nerve." "Your mouth is still... way too idle."

Having narrowly completed a round-trip tour through the underworld, I resolved to watch my words carefully from then on. Naturally, when Chi Van Tung walked in holding two dolls and demanded, "If you had to choose between these two toys, which one would you pick?", I carefully weighed my options and selected the white doll, which matched the outfit he was wearing. His expression instantly darkened as he aggressively shoved the black doll into my arms: "This one is me." "Get over here and lie down flat." Oh heavens above, I had well and truly fallen into the capitalistic trap!

Sunday finally arrived. I lay sprawled across the mattress like a decaying corpse. My kidneys whispered to me in my mind: "Only one of us is walking out of this alive." I raised a trembling hand toward the ceiling: "Oh, Mother Nature, please save me! Toss me some kind of plot armor to turn the tables!" And miraculously—the heavens still showed mercy. The shared white moonlight of those two madmen officially confirmed her return to the country. I immediately hired a private detective, followed her trail overseas, and successfully smuggled Sou Khue Khue back home. One full year—a grueling, uninterrupted twelve months. I was so small and fragile, yet forced to endure such unspeakable injustices! This mission marked my final operation. Once I secured the cash, I would wipe my hands clean of this mess and vanish into thin air.

I hadn't seen Sou Khue Khue in a year and a half. The moment I unlocked the door, she launched herself at me like an oversized koala, refusing to let go. Tears and snot smeared freely across my clothes as she wept uncontrollably. Suddenly, she twitched her nose, pulled her head back slightly to examine me, and shrieked like an air-raid siren: "What the hell! Why on earth have you been marked by two malevolent snake demons at the same time?!"

Sou Khue Khue had always claimed her family belonged to an ancient lineage of demon hunters and ghost slayers. I desperately wanted to believe her, but our very first encounter proved she was a notorious swindler. Waving a wooden ritual sword while pretending to be a great Taoist master, she used basic chemical reactions to conjure up cheap, spooky parlor tricks, only to end up getting chased and beaten out of town by angry villagers. Before she finally returned to the country, I had even arranged for a private investigator to take her for a comprehensive medical evaluation. The final diagnosis: severe accumulation of old and new physical scars across her body, paired with a psychiatric evaluation reading: "Mild delusions." Ah, well... poor thing, I might as well just humor her.

"Nien Nien, your entire body is radiating such intensely ominous demonic aura that you're practically... ready to be salt-cured and preserved." She sniffed around me like an eager little puppy, darting back and forth. Suddenly, she dove downward, pressing her face directly against my lower abdomen: "Good grief, your lower belly has been marked this heavily?!" "...I get it now. Since this is the softest flesh, they were definitely planning to... consume this part first!"

I dragged her over to the sofa to sit down, listening to her endless babble while I pulled out my phone to order delivery. The moment a feast of ice-cold beer and crispy fried chicken arrived, she instantly snapped her mouth shut. "Holy crap, this is basically a royal banquet! Nien Nien, in this life and the next, I am willing to serve as your loyal beast of burden!"

My lower back was still throbbing with dull, persistent pain, so I casually collapsed onto the cushions and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. When I finally woke up, she was bustling around the kitchen, leaving a steaming bowl of herbal porridge on the dining table. Feeling ravenous, I downed half of it before Sou Khue Khue came charging out of the kitchen looking like she had just seen a ghost: "THAT WASN'T MEANT FOR DRINKING!!!"

I licked my lips, tasting the faint, refreshing herbal notes. Honestly, it didn't taste half bad. She grabbed my hand in a panic, dipped her fingers into the bowl, and smeared the remaining liquid across my skin. "What on earth are you doing?" she demanded. Lowering her voice conspiratorially, she muttered, "This concoction... masks the scent of the marks left on your body." "If those two bloodthirsty demons realize someone else is trying to poach their prey, they'll completely lose their minds and do something unpredictable." I winced in distaste: "Can I wash it off?" "Sure, but the residual effect will still protect you for a full week!" "Damn, that's actually impressive."

My phone suddenly chimed with a notification alert, flashing a breaking entertainment news headline: 【Veteran artist Yen Huy's funeral: Capital's Crown Prince & Hong Kong heir personally carry the casket—netizens sent into a frenzy】

Yen Tu Tu and Chi Van Tung were carrying a casket together? Yen Huy was a towering figure in the capital's elite circles, as well as Yen Tu Tu's uncle. For Yen Tu Tu to attend the funeral made perfect sense. But Chi Van Tung, who had ruled over Hong Kong for years while engaging in a mortal feud with the Yen family—I had naively assumed they were merely bitter rivals. I never expected them to actually be distant relatives? Then again, these aristocratic dynasties were always full of hidden depths. Beneath the surface, dark undercurrents surged violently, while on the surface, they maintained a polished facade of utter propriety. I was nothing more than an outsider, entirely unequipped to understand the deep-seated grievances connecting their worlds.

On Monday, I returned to the capital. Yen Tu Tu frequently frequented high-end society gatherings and elite banquets. The upper-crust social circuit was notoriously interconnected. Terrified that someone from Chi Van Tung's faction might recognize me, I flatly refused to let Yen Tu Tu drag me along to show me off. Using social anxiety as a foolproof excuse, I stayed behind. He didn't press the matter, leaving to handle his business dealings alone while I curled up inside his private suite, playing mobile games all day long.

Having finally conquered Monument Valley, I switched over to a goose-hunting game, frantically chasing feathered targets across the screen. "You wretched goose, I'm going to catch you this time for sure!"

Suddenly, a deep, bone-chilling voice echoed from directly behind me: "Little stuffed bun, your territory is getting wider by the day, isn't it?"

I bounced off the sofa like a coiled spring, forcing a desperate, ingratiating smile as I turned to face Chi Van Tung. Around him, I had carefully cultivated a deeply tragic, pitiful persona: a mother chronically bedridden with illness, a severe alcoholic for a father, a younger sister still struggling through school, and a utterly shattered family background. I painted myself as an unyielding, resilient white lotus flower, working three grueling jobs every single day just to scrape by.

He chuckled lazily, his posture dripping with arrogant amusement: "What's this? Did you find Yen's boss too satisfying, or are you just looking to change masters?"

Good lord, save me! Didn't the gossip columns explicitly report that Chi Van Tung had flown overseas to pursue his beloved white moonlight?! Why on earth was he kicking down the door to my private room right now?!

With my face twitching in despair, I desperately squeezed out two fake tears to channel a helpless, shivering little sparrow: "I really only came here to pick up a casual job... I got hopelessly lost and ended up wandering in by accident..."

He let out a cold, cynical laugh, his dark eyes gleaming like naked blades. Leaning leisurely back against the sofa, he drawled in a tone dripping with quiet menace: "With ambitions this grand, do you really think I couldn't afford to keep you?"