Chapter 6 — Han Yen's Rebirth

So Dinh lunged forward, his hands instantly locking around the throat of the bandit. But the adversary was fiercely strong, his calloused fingers tangling into So Dinh’s hair and violently slamming his skull against the thick trunk of a nearby tree. Once! Then again! Panic clawing at my chest, I scrambled across the dirt, my trembling fingers closing around the hilt of a dropped blade. With a desperate cry, I lunged at the bandit’s exposed back, driving the steel deep between his shoulder blades. The man froze, his eyes bulging wide with sudden terror, before his entire body went rigid and he collapsed onto the blood-soaked earth, his dying gaze fixed emptily on the sky. Dropping the weapon, I scrambled to So Dinh’s side, my hands frantically searching for his injuries. The moment I lifted his head, my palms came away slick and warm with a terrifying expanse of bright crimson. He was barely clinging to consciousness, his breaths shallow, ragged rattles that signaled a life slipping rapidly away.

So Dinh, stay with me! Do not die! Do not you dare try to frighten me like this!

I tore desperately at the fabric of my undergarments, ripping the cloth into long strips to fashion makeshift bandages. I pressed them hard against his wounds, trying desperately to staunch the relentless flow, but the blood kept soaking right through the linen. Suddenly, his cold, trembling hand shot out, his fingers wrapping weakly yet with stubborn determination around my wrist.

Han Yen… I am so sorry… Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me just this once?

Forgive me… I used to foolishly believe that I only cared for accomplished women skilled in the arts of zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting, which was why I always treated you with such chilling indifference. It was only when you finally demanded a divorce with such unyielding resolve that panic truly gripped my soul. I realized then that without you, my entire world would become a hollow, meaningless void. I always foolishly imagined that I had a whole lifetime ahead of me to make amends, but I was wrong… Han Yen… in our next life… I promise I will find you first, I will love you first, and I swear I will never let you suffer another moment of pain.

His voice trailed off into a whisper as his eyes fluttered shut and he slipped entirely into darkness. I knelt over him, my vision blurring until the hot tears finally overflowed, cascading down my cheeks to blur his still features.

14

I can no longer clearly recall how I managed to hoist So Dinh’s heavy, bleeding body onto the back of my horse, nor how I drove the beast forward like a wild storm through the dark, frantically hammering against the doors of the village apothecary and begging for his life. All I truly remember is that by the time my racing heartbeat finally began to settle, So Dinh had already been meticulously bandaged and laid to rest in a quiet room. The flickering flame of a solitary tallow candle cast a soft, amber glow across his pale face. He lay there so still, his breathing faint but steady. I pulled a wooden stool close to the bedside, the haunting echo of his final words before fainting still ringing relentlessly in my ears—Can you forgive me? My fingers gently intertwined with his, and I whispered into the quiet gloom:

So Dinh, you must wake up. If you dare to die on me, I swear I will never, ever forgive you for as long as I live.

Three days later, he finally stirred. My heart leaped with an overwhelming tide of relief and joy as I watched his long eyelashes flutter before his eyes slowly, dazedly flickered open. Tears of pure happiness welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. But the very instant his gaze locked onto mine, any warmth in my chest vanished. His eyes were entirely devoid of their usual sharp, calculating edge; instead, they were wide, innocent, and utterly bewildered, mirroring the pure vulnerability of a lost child.

Who are you?

Can you help me find my way home to Mommy?

I froze where I stood, struck dumb as if a bolt of thunder had cracked directly above my head. He… could he really only remember things from when he was five or six years old? From that day onward, So Dinh and I remained sheltered in the apothecary’s humble abode. To fend off the idle gossip of the villagers, I reluctantly lied, claiming we were a married couple who had fallen upon hard times after being attacked by bandits. By day, I sought out remedies to cure his baffling amnesia; by night, I quietly sent out feelers to track down the whereabouts of Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan. Yet, So Dinh clung to me like a frightened little cub, refusing to leave my side for even a moment, paralyzed by the childlike terror that I might abandon him in this strange place. Whenever I ventured into the forest, he would quietly follow, nimble fingers weaving wild grass into tiny, clumsy animals, which he would shyly press into my palm whenever I looked tired. He hated the bitter taste of the herbal medicine, stubbornly refusing to swallow the dark brew unless I coaxed him with a sweet piece of candy afterward. One afternoon, when the village’s fierce geese chased and hissed at me, he puffed out his tiny chest and bravely stood right in front of me to shield me, only to end up getting pecked so hard on the arm that he burst into heavy, humiliated tears. When I gently asked him why he had stepped in when he was clearly terrified, he sniffled, wiping his eyes, and replied with absolute, unshakeable conviction: Because I am a man, and a man is supposed to protect his woman. Watching him like this, trapped entirely within the innocent memories of his childhood, all the buried warmth and tenderness I had once felt for him slowly clawed their way back to the surface. There had once been a devoted young girl who loved him dearly, and there had once been a gentle, radiant So Dinh who cherished her. A fleeting, dangerous thought crossed my mind—what if So Dinh remained like this forever? What if he stayed this pure, this innocent, with eyes that saw only me? If I were to spend the rest of my days living simply with this version of him, perhaps it would not be so bad after all. But the very second that treacherous thought took root, I mentally struck myself across the face in disgust. I had already sworn an oath to myself, dedicating this lifetime to making amends for my past regrets with Qin Ming Nan; how could I possibly regress, turning back to chew on the bitter, rotting grass of a forgotten yesterday?

15

Half a month later, Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan finally reappeared in the village. The moment my eyes landed on Qin Ming Nan, an involuntary shiver ran down the back of my neck, a sudden prickle of unease. Whirling around, I found So Dinh standing quietly right behind me, his expression still entirely blank and childlike. He reached out with a trembling hand, catching the hem of my sleeve and tugging at it with a pitiful, aggrieved pout.

Big Sister Han Yen… are… are you going to abandon little Dinh too?

I let out a long, weary sigh, convincing myself that the sudden spike of menacing aura I had felt a moment ago must have been nothing more than a trick of my imagination. If he held any underlying hostility toward Qin Ming Nan, it was likely nothing more than the petty, possessive jealousy of a child. Yet, before I could even properly celebrate the safe return of Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan, a piece of news struck me with the devastating force of a falling boulder.

Han Yen, Ming Yue and I have exchanged vows before heaven and earth. We have come today to formally ask for her hand in marriage.

You are her guardian, and I sincerely beg you to grant us your blessing.

Qin Ming Nan folded his hands and bowed deeply, his tone heavy with earnest gravity. In that single, breathless heartbeat, my mind went entirely blank. This turn of events completely shattered every expectation I had ever held.

You… and Ming Yue? I wanted to ask how on earth things could have developed between the two of them so rapidly.

Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan both flushed a deep, matching crimson. Ming Yue bravely stepped forward, her voice steady as she offered an explanation: That day, while we were fleeing desperately from the bandits, he and I accidentally ended up running down the exact same ravine. He managed to discover a hidden cave, and we hid inside together until the danger passed. It was within the quiet shadows of that very cave that he… that he finally confessed his hidden feelings to me. Qin Ming Nan scratched the back of his head, a sheepish, clumsy grin spreading across his face. To be completely honest… I fell for Ming Yue the very first time I laid eyes on her. Back when we were still staying in the capital’s outskirts, I already held deep affections for her, but I lacked the courage to speak of it until now. I silently gazed at the pair of them, a match made by heaven, clearly devoted to one another. What possible reason could I have to raise an objection? Across past lives and present realities, our paths were simply destined to diverge into entirely different directions. That night, I tossed and turned, sleep entirely evading me. Restless, I wandered out into the courtyard, standing beneath the lush, sprawling branches of the old apple tree, gazing up in a trance at the bright, indifferent moon. Suddenly, a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped securely around me from behind.

Big Sister Han Yen, if your heart aches, you can cry on my shoulder for a little while. I promise I will never tell a soul. If you do not trust my word, we can lock pinkies to seal the promise.

So Dinh extended his little finger, waiting patiently for me to link mine with his. With a faint smile, I quietly reached out and hooked my finger with his, completing the solemn child’s pact. Under the clear, watery gaze of his eyes, the tears I had been desperately fighting back finally broke free. I buried my face in his chest, letting the silent tears flow without restraint. So Dinh gently patted my back, his voice murmuring soothing reassurances into the night air. Do not be afraid. You still have me. I will always stay right by your side.

16

Ming Yue’s ankle had been badly sprained during our desperate escape from the bandits, so we collectively decided to remain in the village until she had fully recovered before making the journey back to the capital. Lately, So Dinh had developed a peculiar fondness for wandering deep into the dense forests, frequently disappearing alone into the mountain valleys. Although his mind was supposedly trapped in the innocent days of his youth, his formidable martial arts remained entirely intact, sparing me any genuine anxiety for his physical safety. I recalled that So Dinh had originally come to Ung Chau under secret orders to investigate a massive military corruption and embezzlement scandal, but given his current, fragmented state of mind, it was utterly impossible for him to carry out such a sensitive mission. I could only pray that the Emperor would take pity on his temporary madness and spare him from severe punishment. Once Ming Yue’s injuries had completely healed, we finally packed our belongings and set out for the capital. The journey back was remarkably peaceful and smooth. Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan were inseparable, clinging to one another like glue, their mutual devotion entirely plain for anyone to see. Watching them interact, a profound sense of release washed over me, as if a heavy burden had finally slid off my shoulders. In my past life, Qin Ming Nan had saved me, and Ming Yue had shown me unwavering loyalty; now that both of them had found their own hard-won happiness, what regrets could I possibly have left? Upon our arrival in the capital, my first intention was to escort So Dinh straight back to the grand residence of the So family. But the moment we arrived, he threw a stubborn tantrum, flatly refusing to step foot inside the gates. Having no other choice, I dispatched a messenger straight to the So estate, demanding that members of his own household come and retrieve him. To my utter astonishment, days passed without a single soul from the So family showing up. Then, one afternoon, a luxurious carriage rumbled to a halt right outside my modest thatched cottage. The velvet curtain parted, and an exquisitely dressed, delicate young woman stepped down—Liu Jiang Yue. She marched straight up to me, her chin tilted up, her voice dripping with an abrasive, possessive arrogance:

I have come to take Elder Brother Ruo An back home where he belongs.

Ruo An was So Dinh’s formal courtesy name, one that Liu Jiang Yue had used to address him familiarly since they were children. I narrowed my eyes, looking at her with cold indifference.

So Dinh told me himself that you had already been permanently banished from the So household. By whose authority are you here today acting as their messenger?

Liu Jiang Yue’s eyes flashed with a venomous, blinding hatred.

You still have the audacity to ask me that? This is entirely your fault!

If you had not poisoned his mind with your slanderous lies, would he have ever cast me out of the So estate?!

With a sharp, vicious hiss, she suddenly whipped a gleaming dagger from the deep folds of her sleeve, pressing the cold steel directly against the skin of my throat!

I am taking Elder Brother Ruo An back with me no matter what! I am destined to be his true wife!

If you are smart enough to hand him over quietly, I might just show mercy and spare your pathetic life. But if you dare resist, do not blame me for being utterly ruthless!

In that flash of steel, the puzzle pieces clicked instantly into place in my mind—she intended to force a fait accompli, cornering So Dinh while he was vulnerable and using manufactured scandals to claw her way back into the So family’s good graces. But how could I ever allow her to get away with such a scheme? I opened my mouth, ready to unleash a sharp, mocking retort, but before a single word could escape my lips, a deep, bone-chillingly calm voice cut through the tense air from behind me.

Liu Jiang Yue, lower that blade this instant!

So Dinh stepped out from the inner chamber, his stride steady and measured as he closed the distance between us. Liu Jiang Yue froze in absolute shock, her eyes widening in sheer disbelief as she stammered out a denial:

No… that is impossible… Elder Brother Ruo An, were you not completely stripped of your memories?

With a few blindingly fast, effortless movements, So Dinh sidestepped her frantic lunge and wrenched the dagger from her grip, pinning her arms behind her back with casual authority. His voice was laced with a chilling frost:

Do not ever let me catch you showing your face in front of me or Han Yen ever again.

If you ever test my patience again, you know very well what methods I am capable of employing.

Without waiting for a reply, he flung her unceremoniously out of the courtyard, sending her stumbling backward into the dirt. I raised my head, fixing a hard, piercing glare directly upon him. You… you never lost your memories at all, did you? So Dinh met my gaze with unsettling calm. The amnesia was real enough at first. It was simply that your medical skills happen to be remarkably brilliant, and your treatments eventually cleared my mind.

When did your memories actually return?

As I mentally replayed the strange, out-of-character incidents back in Ung Chau, the answer finally clicked into place. His voice lowered, carrying a heavy, gravelly weight:

Back in Ung Chau. The very day Ming Yue and Qin Ming Nan returned to announce their union, everything came rushing back to me.

You were willing to tolerate a broken, mindless version of So Dinh, staying close to him out of pity, yet you stubbornly refused to let a conscious, lucid So Dinh anywhere near you. So, I made a choice—I chose to keep up the charade of forgetfulness, simply so I could steal a little more time to remain by your side.

Then why did you suddenly drop the act today?

He took a slow, deliberate step closer to me:

No lie can be sustained for a lifetime, Han Yen.

Besides, my trusted subordinates stationed across Ung Chau have already wrapped up the final investigation into the military corruption scandal. Tomorrow, I am required to enter the imperial palace to make my formal report to the Emperor.

He pinned me with an unyielding, burning stare:

Han Yen, the feelings you hold for me are far from mere hatred; there is still love buried beneath those walls.

Stop trying to deceive yourself. I told you once before, and I mean it now—I will spend the rest of my life waiting for you.

Panic surged through my chest. I whirled around, bolted across the room, and slammed the heavy wooden door shut behind me, locking him firmly out in the courtyard. I could not deny it—a part of me still loved him. But the sheer terror of opening myself up to that future paralyzed me. Incapable of facing him in that moment, I could only flee, leaving my fate to the mercy of time.

16

I am So Dinh. This marks the third year of my quiet seclusion in this forgotten village. Three years ago, in light of my meritorious service in rescuing the innocent and uncovering the systemic corruption within the military, the Emperor sought to elevate my rank and bestow upon me grand titles. I declined them all. Instead, I chose to come here, tethering my existence to the quiet hope of waiting for her. In the small cottage standing right next to mine lived the very keeper of my soul—Han Yen. I knew deep down that she still cared for me, yet weighed down by the heavy, tangled scars of our past, she continually retreated behind a wall of caution. No one could possibly imagine that during those agonizing months when my mind was trapped in chaos, fragments of my past life had begun to bleed into my waking thoughts. Through some bizarre twist of fate, the tragedy of my former existence had laid bare the ultimate truth. In that past life, standing beneath the moonlit pavilion, I had been forced to watch helplessly as she consumed poisoned wine, coughing up dark blood before collapsing lifelessly to the ground. In that single, agonizing fraction of a second, my entire world had hollowed out, leaving behind a yawning chasm of endless despair. It was only then that I realized my heart had belonged to her all along. But by the time I finally woke up to that reality, she was already gone forever, swallowed by the grave. Following her death, I spent my remaining years guarding her ancestral tablet in desolate solitude, my hair turning prematurely white amidst the bitter cold of isolation. Before the silent statues of the Buddhas, I had pleaded thousands of times for a single mercy—just a chance to cross paths with her once more in another lifetime. In our past life, I failed her utterly. In this life, I swore an oath to dedicate every remaining breath I possessed to making amends. For the past three years, I had never once considered leaving this place. I simply waited for her to turn around and look at me with understanding. I possessed infinite patience. I had already waited for her across two lifetimes; I was fully prepared to spend the rest of eternity waiting if that was what it took. From the neighboring cottage, a thin plume of grey smoke curled lazily toward the sky, mingling with the dying embers of the sunset. The evening sky was painted in brilliant strokes of crimson and gold, casting a warm, rustic glow over the humble thatched roofs. Every single mistake I had made in the past, I vowed to wash clean with the devotion of this lifetime. Tap, tap, tap. A light, hesitant knock sounded against the wooden door. I pulled the door open, and standing right there on the threshold was the woman I had yearned for through endless days and sleepless nights. She held a small porcelain plate laden with handmade candies, their sweet, familiar fragrance clinging softly to her robes.

So Dinh, you have waited for me for three full years. Do you harbor even a shred of regret?

I shook my head slowly, a quiet, absolute certainty settling in my chest. No regrets at all.

A sudden, breathtaking smile bloomed across her face, radiant as peach blossoms bursting open in the warmth of early spring.

I suddenly realized… the sixth day of next month is a remarkably auspicious date. Would you be willing to take me as your wife?

I stood frozen, thunderstruck. It felt as though a mountain of unimaginable happiness had suddenly crashed down upon me, rendering me entirely incapable of speech or thought. The next instant, a surge of wild euphoria took over; I swept her off her feet, spinning her around as the gentle evening wind whipped around us. When the dizzying whirl finally slowed to a stop, I pulled her tight against my chest, burying my face in her hair as I murmured with a fierce, unshakable vow:

Han Yen, in this life, I swear upon my very soul that I will never fail you again.

Though the mortal world may shift and weather a thousand times over, and though the vast blue seas may one day turn into barren fields, you will forever remain the most breathtaking scenery in the landscape of my soul.