Chapter 9 — He Thought I Was Still Waiting For His Palanquin, But The Divine Order Has Come To My Palace

With all the things going on out there, we are completely unaware. Pho Du sat next to me, slowly holding my cold fingertips. He asked each word, the sound echoed like it was carved into the bones

"I gave you three months to regret. As of today, there is no longer a chance to turn back."

Candles crackle and burn. In those long, narrow, cold eyes, I seemed to see myself being thrown down the snowy mountain that day. The wind howled and the snow rushed, the sky and earth turned white. That lonely lamp, like the bright moon hanging in the sky, shines only in front of me. Deputy Du extended his hand. Pull me out of the cold, lead me to the top of the mountain. From now on, the humiliation I once suffered at the hands of the Tham family, the weakness of the Lam family, the humiliation of having humbled myself because of love just hoping to be given alms... all were thrown back by me in the snowy sky. He said, as long as I nod in agreement, even if it's a sea volcano knife, I'll have him in front of me to shield me. The wind and snow howled, the earthly noise was like a sledgehammer hitting the chest, each blow was cold to the bone, painful to the heart. I snuggled deeply into Pho Du's arms, trembling in supplication, my hands tightening around the hem of his ao dai

“I agree.”

That year, when Pho Du was still the Third Prince, he often went to the Lam family's mansion to practice spearmanship with my father. If we say childhood and childhood, there was one between me and Tham Trac Nien, and between me and Pho Du... there was also one. After that, in order to save him, my father fell into the abyss, leaving his bones intact. Because the Lam family could not protect their master, they were punished by the emperor and lost their titles, leaving only an empty house with a widowed mother and orphaned children. At that time, I was still young, drowning in pain, not understanding people's hearts, only knowing how to hold his collar tightly, pouring out all my anger and despair. When I said the cruelest words, I cursed him straight in the face.

"Do you still have the face to come to Lam Palace? If it weren't for you, my father wouldn't have died, the Lam family wouldn't have declined. Every time I see you, I remember my father's death. I can't forgive you for the rest of my life. I don't need you, and I won't marry you. Get out, get out of my sight."

At that time, he was only ten years old, standing in the cold wind, his thin figure tilted, as if about to be swept away by the wind. From that day on, the Third Prince's free-spirited, daring to laugh and fight no longer existed. He restrained his nature, became calm, cruel, and his thoughts were as deep as the ocean. Later, he overcame countless difficulties and won the Eastern Palace position. Then, the first emperor suddenly died, he ascended the throne, became supreme, and thousands of people obeyed him. Between him and me, we have long been separated by endless mandarins and seas of people, no longer crossing a single step. Later in life, when I grew up, I also learned a little about the way of governing a country. Only then did I understand that when a general holds too much military power and is too close to the prince, then that is the knife hanging right in the prince's throat. The first emperor was afraid, that's why my father died tragically. I wanted to open my mouth to apologize. But at that time, Pho Du was no longer the older brother A Du who always stood in the hallway watching me draw my bow and shoot arrows. That night, outside, the wind and snow howled, I had a high fever and couldn't stop, dreamily holding onto the hem of his shirt, crying and sobbing non-stop. Crying until the end, I could only utter one sentence that came too many years too late

“Sorry… I never blamed you… I just It's... I just miss my father so much..."

I grabbed his sleeve tightly, refusing to let go. Babbling and saying all sorts of things, the entire Lam family was entrusted to his heart

“I must be about to die, so I lie in your chest and give birth to the illusion of being able to say sorry like this. My mother is timid, the Tham family cannot be relied on, you can just take care of her a little."

“I know you are suffering and your foundation is not strong. If you go against the emperor's orders, you will be attacked by hundreds of officials. But just a little bit, just a little bit of attention is enough.”

The flickering light flickered in the darkness, casting shadows on his dark eyes. I was suddenly stunned. In the depths of those eyes, we see real heartache, compassion that has never been hidden, and care that is not entangled with power. At that moment, everything seemed to disappear. I just remember, once, when I was a child, I asked Tham Trac Nien a question

“Brother Ah Yu has such plump red lips. Is it comfortable to kiss? I like that brother. Father said he wanted to marry me. Then when I grow up, my lips will only be kissed by me."