Chapter 2 — I'm No Longer A Reasonable Daughter-in-law

Father-in-law put down his chopsticks: "What if something happens? You have your whole family behind you, you can't lose your job. How about this, move back here and you and your wife won't need to pay living expenses, just settle down first." Ha Tuan's movement of picking up food stopped. I slowly swallowed the spicy green vegetable with the scent of pepper, my tongue was numb, my throat was a little choked. The day I got married, my husband's parents said it was difficult and the bride price was only fifty-eight thousand. Three years ago Ha Man got married, the bride price was 160,000 from her husband, and the wedding was held at the most luxurious hotel in the city. When we bought a house with a deposit of 150,000, they said there was no more left, and in the end my parents had to make up for it. Last year when Ha Man's family bought a house, they transferred forty thousand dollars straight. These things are like broken glass stuck under the sole of a shoe. Normally, if you don't pay attention, it won't hurt. But tonight, every step hurts to the bone. After eating, Ha Man pretended to be polite and asked her to wash the dishes. The mother-in-law immediately stopped her: "Please rest, taking care of you all day is tiring." As a result, the people cleaning the kitchen are still me and Ha Tuan. Swish. Ha Tuan was rubbing the pot when he suddenly spoke: "It's only been more than half a year, just hold on a little and it'll be over." I don't answer.

“I know you're uncomfortable.” He lowered his voice, "But my parents only have me and Man, do you think her family has no place to live?"

“No place to stay?” I repeated, “Can't they rent a house?”

"You know, how expensive the rent is now. Four people have to rent at least a two-bedroom house, six or seven thousand yuan a month. Their mortgage payment is already 10,000, so how can they live with more rent?"

“So how do we live at home?” I turned back to look straight at him, "Our family pays eight and a half thousand in installments each month, and the tuition for kindergarten and Doa Doa's gifted class is more than three thousand, not including living expenses. Your salary is one thousand six thousand, and I just quit my job, the whole family now depends on you. Now add four more people, electricity and gas bills have doubled, who pays?"

Ha Tuan was silent. After a long while, he whispered: "Mom and Dad will make up for it." I have heard this sentence for six years. Every time it's like a check with no money in it. That night, I couldn't sleep. Ha Tuan lay next to him and slept soundly, occasionally even making a steady snoring sound. As for me, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, my mind was like a film being rewinded, each frame of the past six years appearing one after another. The first time I went to the Ha family's house for dinner, my mother-in-law asked what my parents did. I said my father is a high school art teacher and my mother works at the ward committee. She just nodded, then stopped and didn't ask any more questions. After that, Ha Man brought Trieu Loi back to introduce himself. Trieu Loi's family opened a chain of pharmacies, and his mother-in-law welcomed him enthusiastically as if he had met a life-saving noble. During the wedding, my mother secretly slipped a card into my hand, saying there were eighty thousand inside, telling me to keep it safe. As for her mother-in-law, she stood in front of her relatives, smiled and said very calmly: "Our family doesn't like to show off, it's okay for the two of you to live well." When Ha Man got married, everywhere she went she showed off her bride price of twenty thousand and the latest brand of wedding gold. The day Doa Doa was born, she was a girl. The mother-in-law stood outside the delivery room and sighed: "The daughter is also good and obedient." During my stay, my biological mother took care of me. The mother-in-law stopped by a total of four times. Every time the seat wasn't warm, he quickly said he had something to do and left. When Ha Man gave birth to her first child, she went to her daughter's house two weeks in advance, staying for forty days to take care of her. I used to collect those things little by little, label them "don't compare" and then store them deep in a corner of my memory. But tonight, everything seemed to explode at the same time, shatter, and scatter everywhere. At two thirty in the morning, I gently got out of bed and walked out to the living room. Moonlight shines in through the window. The makeshift sheet on the sofa was wrinkled into a pile. Ha Man and Trieu Loi hugged each other and slept, the three children lying on the mattress on the floor. On the tea table were half a can of soft drink, a bag of half-eaten snacks, and a few socks thrown around. The house that I have worked hard to pay for in installments for four years... is being eroded little by little. I went out to the balcony, closed the door, and called Phuong Linh.

“Are you crazy?” After hearing that, Phuong Linh almost shouted, "The four of you moved in for more than half a year? To Uyen, that house is your wedding house, not an aid station!"

“Ha Tuan said just over half a year…”

“If you believe in a man, a sow can climb a tree.” Phuong Linh was frustrated, "I bet you a hot pot, half a year later they will find an excuse not to move out. How can a house renovation take more than half a year? Can you believe it?"

I said nothing.

“As for quitting your job, why didn't you tell me?” Phuong Linh's voice calmed down, "That deputy director named Ma forced you, I know you suffered a lot of resentment. But after all, it was a stable job, now you have no income, and in that house you have no voice."

“I'm really tired, Linh Linh.” I leaned my back against the glass door, "Every day I work overtime until nine thirty, Doo Doa is already asleep. Weekends have to revolve around Ha family matters. For my mother-in-law's birthday last month, I booked a restaurant early, prepared gifts half a month in advance. Ha Man only posted a line of congratulations online, but my mother-in-law showed it off all week."

“You are too understanding.” Phuong Linh sighed, "No one will feel sorry for those who understand. Does this sentence sound familiar?"

“I heard.”

“So what do you plan next?”

I looked at the stream of cars on the overpass in the distance, the lights connecting like a sparkling river, flowing toward an unknown destination.

“Don't know yet.” I said softly, “But I don't want to live like this anymore.”

The next morning was Saturday. At half past five, I woke up. Opening the wardrobe, I neatly folded all the clothes we wore this season and stuffed them into a 26-inch suitcase. Doa Doa's rabbit-shaped suitcase was also filled with comics, crayons and even a teddy bear with one ear torn off. When Ha Tuan woke up, I was bending down to lock the suitcase.

“Are you really going back to your grandmother's house?” He sat up, his hair a mess.

“I told you that last night.”

“I thought you were just angry…”

I zipped up the suitcase, my voice strangely calm: "Ha Tuan, in the six years of being my wife, have you ever been unreasonably angry?" He choked up. That's right, I have never sulked for no reason. When I'm angry, I choose to stay silent, analyze, find a solution, and consider the pros and cons. From childhood to adulthood, everyone said I was a sensible person. But now, I don't want to understand anymore.

"I cooked porridge for breakfast, put it in the pot. I'll take Doa Doa here."

I pulled my suitcase out of the room.