Chapter 4 — I Raised a General in the Central Highlands

23 The car turned into a small dark road. “Get off the bus.” I clutched the bag in my hand. Could it be that... are you planning on leaving me in the middle of nowhere like this? Luc Tram seemed to see the caution and fear in my eyes. He turned off the engine, turned his head, his voice softened a bit: "Get out of the car." Then, right after that, he returned to his voice as sharp as a knife: "Don't you remember this place?" In the darkness, I saw the corner of his lips curl up slightly: "Last night, our first kiss... was here." I was a bit stunned by the word "first kiss" he just said. But Luc Tram clearly still didn't see that as enough to confuse me. He bent down and leisurely added another sentence, like sprinkling salt into my head: "Maybe you forgot what kind of kiss you had. But I think, you still remember clearly—there is a very large, very flat rock here." 24 On the steppe at night, the smell of green grass and moist soil mixed in every breeze. Luc Tram gently placed me on that stone slab. “Luc Tram, I—” Before he could even utter his objection, he swallowed it. He touched my lips, as if drawing each stroke. I let out a soft moan. It seemed to satisfy him, he laughed softly, then increased the strength in his hand. Everything started to slip out of orbit. Suddenly, Luc Tram stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at him confused. He frowned, his eyes struggling: "No... no... that." I was stunned for a bit before I understood what "that" was. “If you want… I can do it another way for you.” He leaned close to my ear, his voice hoarse and deadly: "As for me... that's it." "No need." I looked straight into his eyes: "I'm taking long-term birth control pills... I forgot to stop this month." Luc Tram's body immediately froze. He maintained his position on top of me, not moving a single inch. But his eyes were like looking at a stranger. The suffocating heat just now suddenly fell to ice. You are... don't understand? Or do you think I'm too "liberal"? Or… jealous? When I was struggling to think of what to say, he suddenly asked a question completely beyond my expectations: "So... why last night?" Why? I was stunned. “I understand.” He smiled coldly: "I'm afraid... I'm not clean?" 25 Luc Tram suddenly pulled away and was silent for a moment. He bent down, picked up the clothes that had been thrown aside, and began to dress me again. “Luc Tram, what are you doing?!” I struggled, trying to push him away. He didn't pay attention to me, just focused on helping me get dressed. His fingertips were still hot, but his whole body was as cold as a block of ice. After helping me dress properly, he let out two cold words: "Stand up." I sat on the rock, not moving. Luc Tram looked at me for a few seconds, his eyes cold: "If you're already afraid of not being clean, then why are you still running here looking for stimulation?" His voice was full of contempt: "You... city people all play like that? You criticize and cling to it at the same time?" "No! I have never despised you!" His questioning made me feel pain, I also got angry: "I just... just don't think that much!" “Don't think much?” Luc Tram smirked, as if he heard the most ridiculous thing in the world. He took a step forward, approaching: "Don't think too much, but dare to do all the things you should and shouldn't do with me, right?" His tall body enveloped me, his voice filled with anger Angry and hurt: "Ha Tri Dao, are you too brave in the end, Or have you never valued yourself? Or... do you think I'm the type of person who lets you vent all your sadness and then conveniently throw it away?" I was yelled at so much that my eye sockets were hot. "Yes! You're right!" I jumped up, raised my head and shouted: "I came here to find stimulation! To let myself go!" But just a moment later, my voice lowered and trembled: "But... when I saw you... I no longer thought like that..." "Sorry, Luc Tram... sorry... it's just... I'm so sad..." 26 Tears refused to listen and just kept falling. Luc Tram stood stunned. He looked at me, the anger in his eyes gradually fading. He held out his hand, then stopped in mid-air. In the air there was only my choked, broken cry. A moment later, I frantically wiped away my tears. "Luc Tram, you don't understand me at all, and you... don't understand anything about me either." I took a deep breath and looked straight into his eyes: "I lied to you. Tomorrow I will leave. So... all of the things that just happened don't mean anything anymore." I think this argument will end in the most awkward way. Luc Tram will turn around and leave, leaving me alone in the middle of the grassland. But he asked a completely unexpected question: "Can I... come find you?" I was stunned: "Huh?... You said you were going to Nam Thanh? Traveling?" “Ha Tri Dao, I ask seriously: Can I come find you?” He asked again, his eyes so determined that it made my heart skip a beat. I choked on my words, and finally blurted out an unbelievable sentence: "Um... okay." As soon as the answer came out, Luc Tram's whole body felt like a burden had been lifted. "Okay. Right now you don't understand me, but later... you will understand." The corner of his lips curled up slightly: "It's okay if you understand me... a little more every day." Before I could react, he picked me up again. And this time— You didn't give me any chance to open my mouth. 27 The next day, Luc Tram took me to the airport. He concentrated on driving. The angle of his face was still as strong as usual. Only, there were faint dark circles under his eyes. We all held our own thoughts, no one said a word the whole way. He walked me to the security gate. At this moment, I truly felt— This crazy journey, is really about to end. Luc Tram... and this whole steppe, I will leave behind. The silence in the increasingly long line began to make people breathless. I spoke up, extremely clumsily: "Luc Tram, today... don't you have to let the cows go?" My evasive statement was so stupid that it was unbearable. Luc Tram turned to look at me, his eyes complicated. He seemed to want to laugh, but in the end he just sighed: "Ha Tri Dao, I don't herd cows every day." He paused for a moment, his voice slow and slightly lowered: "Actually... I have my own things to do." “Yes, I know.” I replied absentmindedly, my mind filled with images of the upcoming separation. The things you don't say clearly— At this moment, to me, they are like stories from another world, distant and untrue. “Tri Dao.” He suddenly called my name. I raised my head. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair on my cheek behind my ear. Bend over, leave a very light kiss on my forehead. “Baby, see you again in Nam Thanh.” A soreness rushed up nose bridge. I suddenly realized— The reason I stubbornly wanted to leave, Maybe it's not because we're too different, It's because... I'm afraid. I'm afraid I will truly love you. I suppressed all my emotions to the bottom of my heart, trying to keep my voice from shaking: "Luc Tram... goodbye." 28 Returning to Nam Thanh, life immediately returned to work mode. Meeting after meeting, reports piled up like mountains... Luckily, being busy is always the best cure. Until Chu Vu called. After I decisively hung up, he sent a series of long messages full of "sincerity" and "repentance". In short, there is only one main content: He regrets it. He discovered that the so-called "intense vitality" was nothing more than an illusion brought on by a new feeling. The person who makes him feel most comfortable and peaceful is still me. I expressionlessly dragged him straight to the blacklist, and at the same time turned around and called my best friend Kieu Tay to vent my anger: "He doesn't think I'm too rational anymore? It's late! How long ago did you move on? Now I have to go find—" Before I could finish my words, I choked in the middle. The image of Luc Tram suddenly appeared in his mind. The man used his so-called "life force" to burn me to the core. I reopened the chat box with him. The latest text message is still the sentence: 【I'll wait for you at the restaurant downstairs.】 That's good. If it's a fleeting fate, just let it be... It's okay to be fleeting. 29 Days and weeks passed like that. That day, I had just parked my car in the basement when opposite me there was a Maybach that had just turned off its engine. The door opened and a tall man walked down. Perhaps because his physique was so outstanding, tall and strong, I involuntarily took another look. His eyes stopped at his face— Luc Tram? I was still sitting in the car, my hands on the steering wheel, looking at him blankly. You saw me too. Stop, don't go any further. Through two cars, we looked at each other from afar. The basement light shined down on him, making him look like a slightly broken sculpture — alive, but also incredibly vague. Is it really you? Why are you here? Hundreds of question marks exploded in my head at the same time. The memories that I had deliberately buried deep were now flooding back like a broken dam - The wind on the prairie, the kiss at sunset, his hot chest... And the last words before parting: "Nam Thanh, see you again." It turns out... it's not a joke. You have really arrived. Not knowing where I got the courage, Or maybe I couldn't think of anything else, I opened the car door, almost stumbling towards him. Jump straight into his heart. Familiar arms, strong and warm like before. "Luc Tram, I..." Those three words had already reached my lips... Then I bit them tightly and swallowed them. What to say? We... don't count as each other? Reason immediately pulled me back to reality. I backed out of his arms, grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the emergency exit next door. Luc Tram looked at my panicked appearance, frowned: "I'm not afraid of people seeing you..." I held his hand, stuttering to explain: "This place... is my workplace. This... is not professional at all..." His eyebrows gradually relaxed. He raised his hand, still like on the prairie that day, gently patting my head. “Baby, we meet again.”