Chapter 6 — I Shall Never Set Foot in Nam Thanh Again

That evening, Auntie Chu Minh Lam paid us a visit. I had always addressed her simply as Auntie Chu. She had treated me so kindly throughout my childhood—so kindly, in fact, that everyone in our residential complex whispered that she loved me as if I were her own daughter. Whenever her son, Qin Tu Bach, snatched a piece of cake from my hands, she would scold him soundly. When I fell ill during middle school, she would personally simmer nourishing broths and bring them over. During my final year of high school, whenever I finished late-night study sessions, she would insist that Tu Bach cycle over to escort me home. Because of all this, in my past life, I genuinely believed that the Qin family home was my own. It took me a long time to realize the truth: while Auntie Chu’s affection for me was real, her desire to use me as a tether to keep her son in line was just as real. She arrived carrying a box of cherries, her face breaking into a warm, practiced smile the moment she stepped through the door.

Thanh Chi, dear, I heard you went to school to sign your enrollment forms today?

My father poured her a cup of tea. Yes, I signed them.

Auntie Chu glanced at my father, then shifted her gaze to me. You silly girl, why did you decide to change your preference to the Capital so quietly? Hadn't we already agreed that you would attend university in Southern City?

I sat on the sofa, unbothered. And who exactly reached that agreement?

Auntie Chu’s smile faltered for a heartbeat. You and Tu Bach grew up together. How could I possibly be at peace knowing he is heading to Southern City all by himself?

I remained silent. She sat down beside me, taking my hands in hers. Thanh Chi, I know Tu Bach has been acting a bit foolish lately. I am not fond of that girl, Manh Tri Ha, either. But boys can be impulsive at times; it’s only natural. You are more mature than he is, so please, don't hold his mistakes against him.

In my previous life, I used to cherish these words. Whenever she spoke of Tu Bach’s faults, claiming that she felt bad for the grievances I suffered, I felt at least one person in the Qin household stood on my side. So, I bit my tongue and endured time and again. I endured until the very end, when even Auntie Chu began to urge me to let go. She had said, Thanh Chi, his heart is no longer with you; forcing him will only lead to misery. She had added, Tri Ha has been by his side for so many years; the poor girl has had a difficult time. She had even suggested, Perhaps you should just step aside so we don't have to make things so ugly. You see? People change. Or perhaps she never changed at all; she had simply always stood on the side of her own son. I pulled my hands away.

Auntie Chu, I am not holding anything against Tu Bach. I simply wish to attend university in the Capital.

Her smile thinned, losing its warmth. The Capital is so far away.

I can adapt, I replied.

And what about Tu Bach?

I looked her straight in the eyes. He is going to college, not into exile.

The polite mask finally began to slip from Auntie Chu’s face. My father let out a dry cough. Minh Lam, her college applications are already finalized.

Auntie Chu turned to my father. Brother Chinh Hoa, our families have been close for so many years. Can you truly bear to see Thanh Chi go off so far away on her own?

My father’s voice remained cool and steady. She is not going off on her own; she is going to study.

Auntie Chu was rendered speechless. After a long moment, she forced a stiff smile. Very well, let us set the application issue aside for now. In a few days, the celebration dinner for your university admission will go ahead as planned. We have already notified all our relatives and friends, so everyone will gather for a meal. The two of you have been close since you were children; it will be a joyful occasion for everyone.

A joyful occasion for whom? I knew exactly what she meant. In my past life, at that very celebration, Auntie Chu had produced an heirloom jade pendant from the Qin family in front of all our relatives. She had announced, From now on, Thanh Chi is half a daughter to our Qin family. The guests had cheered and teased us, and when someone asked if that meant she was half a daughter-in-law, Auntie Chu had smiled and implicitly accepted the notion. I had lowered my head in shyness, while Tu Bach, sitting beside me, had kept his head buried in his phone, texting Manh Tri Ha. I wore that jade pendant for many years afterward, like a beautiful, gilded shackle. In this life, I would not wear it again. I said, I will attend the celebration dinner. Auntie Chu breathed a sigh of relief.

That’s how it should be, she said.