Chapter 12 — I Wait For Reconciliation, But He Refuses To Let Go

After a while, he said: "Not only did he not have any, then when we went to the battlefield, he also assigned more elite soldiers to protect us." I raised my head. Second brother looked at me, speaking slowly.

"Why do you think my second brother was hit by five arrows and still survived? It was because of the armor I sent him, and also because his men risked their lives to pull me out of the siege."

Third brother scratched his head and his face became more serious.

"The same goes for the wound on my chest. At that time, if it weren't for His Majesty's bodyguard blocking a knife, I wouldn't have been slashed just once."

I was stunned for a long time. No one has ever told me these things. I always thought that he was only polite to his brothers because of the achievements of the Thoi family. Turns out it's not. It turns out there were things he did, but he never mentioned them to me. Returning to Phuong Nghi Palace, Dong Tuyet saw me lost and quickly helped her.

“Miss, what's wrong with you?”

I look at her. Not understanding why, he asked: "Dong Tuyet, do you think I'm wrong?" Dong Tuyet panicked.

“Miss, why do you ask like that?”

I said: "I always felt that my cousin liked Diep Thanh Thanh, so I hated her, scolded her, and made things difficult for her. But what if he really doesn't like her?" Dong Tuyet opened her mouth, wanting to speak again. I looked at her face and my heart suddenly sank.

“Even you know?”

Dong Tuyet knelt to the ground.

“This slave does not dare to speak.”

I tightened my handkerchief. Dong Tuyet bowed her head, her voice became much quieter.

"Actually... this servant feels that His Majesty is very good to the young lady. Every time the young lady causes trouble, His Majesty is angry on the surface, but has never really punished anyone. One time the young lady had a fever after being soaked in cold water, and His Majesty stood outside the door for half the night, but the lady did not know. There was also a time when the young lady ate too much spicy food at Khang Duc Co, and had a stomach ache all night, and the medicine was sent by someone sent by His Majesty."

I sat stiffly on the chair. We don't know these things. Or perhaps, it's not that we don't know, but that we never want to know. The next day, Diep Thanh Thanh asked to come to the palace to meet me. I didn't want to meet you. But thinking about what everyone said, in the end he still let her in. She wore a light blue dress, was neither arrogant nor humble, and treated me very properly.

"A visit to the Queen."

If it were before, I would definitely feel that she was pretending. But today, I just feel tired. I told her to stand up. Diep Thanh Thanh looked at me, was silent for a long time, then said: "Nguyen, I'm about to leave the capital." I was stunned.

“Leaving the capital?”

She nodded.

"I have given everything that can be delivered to the royal court. From now on, I want to go everywhere to see how the people really live."

I frowned.

“Aren't you going to stay as Queen?”

Diep Thanh Thanh burst out laughing. That smile was not ironic, only helpless.

“Your Highness, from beginning to end, the only person your Majesty wants to make Queen is you.”

I clenched my fist. She said again: "I once asked His Highness, if he really liked me, why didn't he marry me? At that time he said, the person in his heart is too stupid, if he accepts more people, she will cry." My throat is choked. Diep Thanh Thanh looked at me, her voice was light but clear.

“He also said that it was very annoying for her to cry, but if she really cried, he would be heartbroken.”

In that moment, I suddenly didn't speak any words. The things we once believed in with such certainty, in an instant, crumbled and no longer had any shape. I still think I'm the sanest person. We know the plot in advance. We know who is the male lead, who is the female lead, and who is the evil female supporting character. I've always been waiting for the day of separation, always preparing to leave, always thinking that I'm not moved, not hurt, not defeated. But it turns out, for the past two years, the person standing there waiting was not me. The person who is misunderstood is not me. The one left behind after every argument is not me. It's still him. That night, I sat alone in Phuong Nghi palace for a long time. Dong Tuyet did not dare to come in and disturb him. The candles burn out one after another. I looked at the flickering firelight before my eyes and suddenly remembered many things. I remember the night we got married, he leaned down to kiss me, and I slapped him. Remember the time when he was scolded by his mother-in-law, he still said he would treat me well when he returned to the palace. Remember when he gave me the white rabbit brooch. I remember him coming to find me tired in the rain at night. I remember he tied me up, just because he wanted to sleep peacefully next to me for a while. It turned out that he was really tired at that time. It turned out that at that time, the person he was looking for was not Diep Thanh Thanh. I bowed my head, tears falling onto the back of my hand. It's so hot that it makes me startled. For the first time in my life, I can no longer use the phrase "I am a cruel woman" to cover up everything. Because we're starting to understand. Perhaps he was wrong from beginning to end. It's really me.