Chapter 20 — I was taken to the palace as a substitute for the dead princess

Her hair on both temples had turned white, and the rosary in her hand had also broken and rolled all over the ground. She cried and trembled and called to me: I slowly walked down from the palanquin, looked at her quietly and calmly said:

“Old lady.”

“The caller is wrong.”

“Tham Dien doesn't have a mother.”

Old Lady Bui's face instantly turned white as a sheet of paper. Her mouth opened slightly, but in the end she couldn't utter another word. Bui Nghien reached out his hand to support me. However, his fingers were stiff and trembling terribly. I turned my head to look towards him.

“Lord Bui.”

“You don't need to help me anymore.”

Bui Nghien quietly and slowly loosened his grip, as if letting go of a treasure that he finally no longer dared to keep. In Bui Phu street, my tablet is still there. The Truong Minh lantern still shines quietly. I personally lifted the tablet and erased the four words "Spirit of Bui Tham Thi". Bui Nghien stood behind me, his hoarse voice softly rang out:

“You... want to go?”

I replied softly:

“I want to live.”

Bui Nghien was silent for a long time, so long that in the street there was only the sound of a gently burning candle. A long time later, he asked:

“Can I... wait?”

I raised my head to look at the morning sunlight just rising outside the door and slowly replied:

“That's your business.”

“However, for the rest of my life I will not stop because of anyone else, nor will I stop because of anyone else's debt or guilt.”

At the end of spring that year, I moved back to the old Tham family home. Bui Nghien personally had people restore the entire communal house, repairing every tiled roof, every wall and every yard. However, from beginning to end, he never crossed that threshold even once. Every month, he sends someone to give me an envelope. There was never a single sentence in the letter asking for my forgiveness. He just quietly wrote about how the court had purged Huyen Hu's remaining comrades, how the old case of my father, Deputy Tham Thai, had been re-opened, and how the people in the capital finally knew that there was once a girl named Tham Dien in this world. Sometimes we open the letter and read it, sometimes we don't. There are also days when we just quietly look at the envelope for a long time and then put it aside. Later, the emperor abdicated and lived alone in seclusion in the palace. It was said that he often stood in the middle of the empty main hall, calling that name over and over again.

"Minh Xu..."

"Minh Xu..."

It's just a pity that from then on, no one responded to him anymore. Another year has passed. In the old Tham family, white pear flowers bloomed all over the yard. On my wrist, the red string is tied again every year. The bronze bell no longer makes any sound, because my soul no longer needs anyone to guide me. Bui Nghien was still standing outside the gate, between him and me there was only a pear tree covered with white flowers. He looked at me quietly, but I did not invite him in. However, we do not close the door. The spring wind gently blew, pear flower petals quietly fell, covering the ground. Right at that moment, I suddenly remembered that night in the Cold Palace, the last look that Princess Truong Lac looked at me before throwing herself into the well. Those eyes always seem to quietly speak to me.

"Tam Dien."

"Let's live."

"For myself."

I gently lifted the tea cup and slowly took a sip. The bright sunlight is just right. Humanity is also beautiful. (END OF FULL TEXT)