Chapter 3 — I Will No Longer Be Your Star

The low, resonant voice of his confidant drifted out slowly.

"Why have you not clarified the marriage proposal to the old madam, my lord? The Chief Secretary of the Cabinet is intent on marrying his daughter to you. But if he discovers that you still have a fiancee back home..."

"I have not been by my mother’s side for all these years; it was Lingling who fulfilled my filial duties in my stead. To speak of breaking off the engagement now would be the act of a heartless, wretched man."

In the center of the courtyard belonging to Meng Changze stood a lotus pond. Even though he was away, I had tended to it every year. In the summer, the leaves were lush and green, the fragrance of the blossoms sweet and lingering. Beneath the weeping willow in the distance, I had once buried two jars of wine, intended to celebrate his success in the imperial examinations. Perhaps, at that time, Meng Changze had not even known of them. He stood by the pond, his confidant behind him, having followed him all the way back from the capital. Once Meng Changze finished speaking, the confidant asked tentatively:

"Then, upon returning to the capital this time, does my lord intend to bring Miss Ling along?"

"..."

Meng Changze fell silent. Standing outside the courtyard, I, too, was plunged into silence. I remembered vividly that in my past life, this conversation never took place. Back then, Meng Changze kept his word and brought me to the capital. Later, despite the pitying gazes of the noble ladies in the capital, he insisted on marrying me with an eight-sedan-chair procession. For half a year, the teahouses and bookstores throughout the city buzzed with gossip, whispering that a man with such a bright future as Meng Changze had chosen to wed a mere wine seller. Could it be that my rebirth had altered the course of events? Or was it possible that this conversation had occurred in the previous life as well, only I remained blissfully ignorant? It turned out that, at that very moment, Meng Changze had hesitated about whether to take me with him. Although he never spoke it aloud, after living together for several decades in the past, I understood him now. This time, he did not want to take me. So that was it. If only I had known that in my previous life...

As my thoughts wandered, I forgot whether I should step forward or retreat. It was only when a servant passed by, calling out, that I was jolted from my reverie. At that same moment, the man inside discovered me. That day, Meng Changze stood before me just as he did now. He knew I had overheard their exchange. His gaze was heavy, filled with a complex emotion I could not decipher. As for me, after a moment of thought, I felt I should react like a woman wounded and furious, to maintain the persona I had painstakingly crafted. Thus, I fled in a panic. Meng Changze assumed I was avoiding him, but the day of departure for the capital was drawing near, and today we had coincidentally crossed paths. Knowing his personality, he would undoubtedly choose to block my path and demand an explanation.

6

How convenient. In truth, I had been thinking carefully about that day for several days. Had I known the truth earlier in my past life, I surely would have behaved with more reserve. I had been fretting over how to decline the journey to the capital, but now that Meng Changze had already harbored such intentions, it was for the best; both of us would get what we wanted.

"Since you have asked, my lord, I do not wish to cause you any hardship."

I looked up at Meng Changze. My eyes were firm and cold.

"Lingling is of lowly status and knows well that she is unworthy of you. Therefore, let the marriage contract between us end here. From this day forward, we shall walk separate paths; we are no longer bound to one another."

As my words fell, the world turned deathly silent. I do not know if it was merely an illusion, but Meng Changze’s eyes darkened, and his aura turned heavy and oppressive. Before I could grasp the reason why, a voice as cold and steady as jade striking stone resonated from above.

"Lingling, you have never before looked down upon yourself like this."

It was the voice of Meng Changze.

"Could it be... that you have also been reborn?"

How could that be possible?! I lifted my head in terror, instinctively retreating, but Meng Changze was faster. He gripped my arm tightly, his gaze and his movements filled with a possessive force that allowed no escape. If not for the sudden, unexpected appearance of Meng Wanyi, I truly felt there would have been nowhere left to run.

7

"Lingling, why have you not packed your things yet?"

Meng Wanyi had a trinket she favored that she had left in my care. Wishing to take it with her now, she had insisted on coming to my quarters to retrieve it. Seeing that my room was clean and orderly, with no signs of packing, she asked in confusion:

"I have already finished."

"Finished?"

She looked around and noticed a small bundle I had left in the cupboard.

"Lingling, is this really all you have?"

I nodded. Meng Wanyi wore a puzzled expression, but then, as if she had suddenly realized something, her face brightened.

"Ah! You are going to be my brother's bride! Once you reach the capital, you are waiting for him to buy you new things, aren't you? I have caught you now!"

Meng Wanyi teased with a playful laugh.

"..."

That was not the case; this was truly all I possessed. I did not wish to explain further to Meng Wanyi. My mind was still trapped in the shock of the earlier encounter. Since I had decided not to accompany them to the capital, I had been saving small amounts of silver from selling wine, planning for a future of my own. I had initially thought I had time to plan slowly, never expecting to cross paths with Meng Changze just as he returned to the manor. And the matter that troubled me most was how to explain everything to Mother Meng and persuade her to allow me to strike out on my own. While I was still hesitating, I encountered someone else.

"Miss, may I ask the way to the Meng residence?"

The following morning, as I was setting up my stall at the market, a carriage stopped before me. The curtain was lifted, revealing a radiant, beautiful face. I stood stunned for a moment before regaining my senses to give her directions, my eyes tracking the carriage as it slowly moved away. The vegetable seller at the neighboring stall watched just as intently, unable to blink.

"Good heavens, whose daughter is that? She looks just like a fairy descended from the heavens!"

She sighed in admiration. She did not recognize the elegant, beautiful woman, but I did. She was the person the confidant had mentioned—the daughter of the Chief Secretary, the one intended to marry Meng Changze—Shen Mingzhou.