Chapter 14 — I Won't Wait for You to Return

He needed me—specifically, the public label of "victim"—to personally step forward and cleanse his reputation. Meanwhile, Yan had sought out Ha Nhan. He did not look as pathetic as Trach Vu; he was still dressed in a crisp, button-down shirt, though his complexion had turned a sickly, ashen gray. In his hands, he clutched a blue insulated thermos, its paint long since chipped away.

Nhan, I admit that I handled this poorly and failed to consider your feelings.

Yan pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to use cold logic to suppress the crumbling situation.

But by making a scene online, you have caused me to be expelled from the project team and have even compromised the university’s audit of my academic credentials. There was no need for you to drive me into such a dead end.

Ha Nhan looked at him, and suddenly, she began to laugh. She laughed until tears welled up and spilled from her eyes.

Yan, look at yourself. Even now, you still believe that I am the one destroying you.

She pointed to the battered thermos.

You bring this broken relic to me—are you trying to prove that you still cherish our past, or are you trying to remind me that for eight years, I lived like a servant girl, waiting on you hand and foot?

Both men seemed to think that old objects could summon back old affections. They truly believed that if they merely bowed their heads, we would return to being the way we were before—meek, obedient shadows who were understanding and capable of infinite forbearance. I walked up to Trach Vu and reached out to take the wooden box from him. A flash of hopeful joy crossed his eyes. However, instead of pressing the box to my chest, I slammed the lid shut and shoved it firmly back into his hands.

Trach Vu.

I looked him straight in the eyes, emphasizing every single word.

This scarf was knitted seven years ago by a Tan Tranh Tranh for the version of Trach Vu who sat by the roadside, eating cold boxed meals. That Trach Vu is dead now. Keep this scarf and bury it with him.

Trach Vu stood frozen, his hands trembling as he clutched the box. Finally, the corners of his eyes grew red as he stared at me.

Tan Tranh Tranh, you never would have treated me this way before.

I looked at him, feeling not even the slightest ripple of emotion in my heart.

And before, I never imagined that you would ever treat me this way.

Ha Nhan, too, had snatched the thermos from Yan’s hands. A flicker of hope crossed his face; he clearly thought she was finally accepting some long-overdue sentimentality. But in the very next heartbeat, Ha Nhan turned and walked toward the courtyard trash bin, tossing the item inside without a second’s hesitation.

There was a dull, heavy thud as it hit the bottom.

Doctor Yan, go back and worry about coordinating your academic audit.

Ha Nhan brushed the dust from her palms.

Your future prospects have absolutely nothing to do with me anymore.

The blood drained from Yan’s face until he was completely pale. He finally stopped trying to speak with logic or use the "greater good" to intimidate her. His voice turned gravelly, sounding as if it were being torn from his throat.

Nhan, I cannot live without you.

Ha Nhan paused in her tracks without turning around.

It is not that you cannot live without me. It is that you cannot live without the version of Ha Nhan who was willing to sacrifice herself just to fulfill your ambitions.

She paused for a beat, then continued, Sadly, she is dead.

Ha Nhan and I turned and walked into the guesthouse, pulling the heavy gate shut behind us. Outside, the two men who once stood arrogantly at the peak of their glory were left standing still, like statues. The moment the gate closed, I thought I would weep. But I did not cry. I only felt the weight that had pressed upon my chest for so many years finally slip away, leaving me feeling light and untethered.

The sounds outside faded into the distance. Trach Vu seemed as though he wanted to say more, but he was rushed away by his assistant and staff members. Yan stood there for a long time, eventually departing in silence. There were no desperate, screaming pleas, no earth-shattering pursuits. The true end, as it turned out, was remarkably quiet.