Chapter 1 — Impurity Under My Shadow

The moment the Buddha bead left my body, I heard something in my bones laugh. During the Queen Mother's banquet, the purple string of Buddha bead that had been opened around my neck was noticed by people. "This bead is beautiful, give it to someone to enjoy for a few days." The Queen Mother smiled and extended her hand. The whole electricity went silent. Before I could even open my mouth, my mother quickly stepped forward, her trembling fingertips taking down the Buddha necklace for me. Her hands were shaking violently, cold sweat was pouring out of her forehead, and there was a look of panic in her eyes that I had never seen in the past twenty years. I looked at the purple string leaving my neck and suddenly burst out laughing. It's been twenty years. The old monk in Tran Quoc patted his chest and said this string of Buddha beads could lock me for life. Now that the rosary has just left my body, I hear in my blood the low moan that has been suppressed for twenty years. Baldy, in the end you still can't lock me up completely. The candles before the Queen Mother's court, without warning, went out all at once.01The day Marquis Vinh Ninh denied receiving the Queen Mother's birthday greeting card, Lady Trieu called me to the main hall. She sat in the main seat, holding a string of white jade pearls in her hand, her eyelids not even bothering to lift them. "Tham Chieu Vi, tomorrow when you enter the palace, you know what you should do." I stood on the street, the buddhist pearl necklace on my neck was close to my skin, cold as an iron ring. "Daughter-in-law knows." Only then did Thi Trieu glanced at me. "It's good to know." Her eyes fell on my neck, stopping for a long time. "Talk less, raise your head less, It rarely attracts attention." Luc Hoai Canh sat next to him, holding tea, his voice was light. "Mother is also for her own good." I looked at him. Having been married for three years, every time he said this sentence he had that look on his face. As if I wasn't his wife. It's as if I'm just an old thing that can't be exposed to the light of Marquis Palace. I smiled. "Don't worry, Marquis. In recent years, what I've been best at is silence." Luc Hoai Canh frowned. The string of recitation pearls in Trieu Thi's hand stopped. She doesn't like me smiling like that. She likes it when I bow my eyebrows, likes me to swallow the words that have reached my lips, likes me to be forced to the point of not being able to breathe by one of her sentences. Unfortunately, over the past few years, the Buddha pearl has been able to suppress some things in my body, but it cannot suppress my ability to see into people's hearts. Thi Trieu said in a cold voice: "Tomorrow at the Queen Mother's banquet, Miss Tiet will also go." I nodded. Tiet Chi Lan. Thanh Mai by Luc Hoai Canh. Also the person who in the past three years, up and down the Marquis Palace has really considered her a young lady. Thi Trieu said again: "Zhi Lan's body is weak. If there is any inconvenience during the banquet, you must take more care of her." I raised my eyes. "You take care of her?" Trieu Thi's face darkened. "You take the position of young lady of the Marquis Palace, do you do something that makes you feel sorry for yourself?" Luc Hoai Canh put down the tea cup. "Chieu Vi, Chi Lan are just guests." "Will the guests stay in the Eastern courtyard of the Marquis Palace?" The street was quiet for a moment. Thi Trieu slammed the table hard. "Insolent!" I lowered my eyes, my fingertips lightly touching the Buddha necklace around my neck. The beads are very cold. The cold seeped into the skin and into the bones, pressing down on the hotness that was rolling down. I heard myself calmly open my mouth. "Mother, calm down." Trieu stared at me, panic flashed in her eyes. Very short. It was so short that Luc Hoai Canh couldn't see it. But I see. From childhood to adulthood, everyone who has ever seen me sick will reveal that look in their eyes. Scared. Take precautions. There is also the urgency of wanting to lock me up again. Thi Trieu quickly regained her dignity. "Change into this white dress tomorrow." She signaled her mother to bring a brocade box. The box opened, inside was a set of crimson jewelry. The colors are so bright it's blinding. I look

That outfit, not moving. Lady Trieu said: "At the Queen Mother's banquet, the Marquis cannot be rude." Luc Hoai Canh added another sentence. "Chi Lan said you wear crimson very beautifully." My smile became deeper. It turned out that Tiet Chi Lan chose. Three years ago, when I first got married here, Luc Hoai Canh said he didn't like women wearing too bright colors. I immediately took away all the red shirts. Now that Tiet Chi Lan said it was beautiful, he immediately felt that I should wear it. I reached out my hand to receive the brocade box. "Okay." Trieu was satisfied. Luc Hoai Canh also breathed a sigh of relief. They thought we were holding back. But they don't know, my patience has never been out of kindness. That's because the old monk at Tran Quoc Tu once said, the Buddha pearl has not left the body for a day, I have to learn to be a human being for a day. I have been a human for twenty years. Do it to the point that they all forget that I am not originally. At night, maid Xuan Tu changed my clothes. She looked at that crimson palace outfit, her eyes turning red. "Madam, they oppress you too much." I sat in front of the bronze mirror, slowly untying my hair bun. The woman in the mirror has gentle eyebrows and eyes, and a string of Buddha pearls on her dark neck. Like a Bodhisattva statue worshiped in a cold temple. I asked her: "Xuan Tu, are you afraid of me?" Xuan Tu was stunned. "Why should I be afraid of you, ma'am?" I looked in the mirror. "What if one day, I am no longer the same as I am now?" Xuan Tu knelt down, his voice very steady. "I only know that ma'am once saved my life." I held out my hand to help her up. Suddenly there were footsteps outside the door. Luc Hoai Canh did not inform anyone, he directly pushed the door and walked in. He saw Xuan Tu kneeling on the ground, his eyebrows furrowed. "What are you doing again?" I didn't turn around. "The Marquis came here late at night, is it because of Miss Tiet?" His face stiffened. "Tomorrow, Chi Lan will enter the palace for the first time, feeling uneasy, wanting to borrow your jade brooch to calm her down." I looked towards the jewelry box. That jade brooch is a relic my mother left me. Luc Hoai Canh knows. So he avoided my eyes. "Just borrow it for a day." I picked up the jade brooch and brought it in front of him. Luc Hoai Canh reached out to receive it. I let go again. The jade brooch fell to the ground and broke into two pieces. Luc Hoai Canh's face changed. I looked at the broken piece of jade on the ground and said softly: "It's broken, so there's no need to borrow it anymore." The wind suddenly rushed in outside the door. The string of Buddha beads on my neck was slightly hot. Luc Hoai Canh stared at me, as if he knew me for the first time. But I bent down to pick up the broken brooch and heard something deep in my bones laughing softly. Early the next morning, three carriages were parked in front of Vinh Ninh Marquis Palace. When Mrs. Trieu helped Tiet Chi Lan out, the servants in the palace all bowed their heads. Tiet Chi Lan wore a moon-white palace outfit, with a newly-made gold pin in her hair. She saw me, first stunned, then smiled. "You're so beautiful today." I was wearing that crimson palace outfit. The sleeves are wide, the hem of the dress drags on the ground. The string of buddhist pearls on the neck hangs outside the collar, the color is a bit darker than usual. Trieu Thi's eyes swept over, her face changed slightly. "Who gave you the permission to expose the Buddha pearl?" I lowered my head to look. "Yesterday mother only told me to change my clothes, but did not tell me to hide the necklace." Trieu Thi's lips pursed tightly. She took a step closer and lowered her voice. "After entering the palace, no one is allowed to touch this Buddha necklace." I looked at her. "Why?" Trieu Thi's eyes were sharp. "If I say not allowed, then it is not allowed." Tiet Chi Lan opened her mouth softly. "Madam, don't blame sister, you probably didn't intentionally oppose anyone." These words were said very lightly. But the gatekeeper and the ladies all heard it. Trieu's face couldn't keep her face, she coldly said: "Get in the car." Luc Hoai Canh came from behind and first supported Tiet Chi Lan. Tiet Chi Lan's face was red

up. "Brother Hoai Canh, that doesn't follow the rules." Luc Hoai Canh said in a low voice: "The road is slippery." I stood on the steps, looking at the two of them. Xuan Tu was so angry that his hands were shaking. I feel funny again. It rained last night and the road surface was indeed watery. But the steps under our feet are even more slippery. Luc Hoai Canh did not look at me. When Trieu saw it, it was as if she didn't see it. I carried my dress to the car. When the curtain fell, I heard a few maids in the palace whispering. "The young lady is so pitiful." "What pity, the Marquis's heart only has Miss Tiet." "I heard that the young lady has a strange personality and is not liked." Xuan Tu wanted to open the curtain and scold her. I held her back. "Save some energy." Xuan Tu's tears almost fell. "Madam, aren't you in pain?" I touched the Buddha necklace on my neck. "The pain is gone." So it doesn't hurt anymore. Horse carriages all the way to the palace. In front of the palace gate, carriages and carriages were like clouds, the ladies of all palaces were all splendidly decorated, and the laughter was endless. When we got off the bus, Tiet Chi Lan's legs softened and she gently fell towards Luc Hoai Canh. Luc Hoai Canh supported her. There were people around looking over. Trieu Thi immediately blocked in front of the two of them and turned her head to glare at me. "Aren't you quick enough to help Chi Lan?" I didn't move. "Master Hau took care of it very well." Trieu Thi's face turned pale. Tiet Chi Lan's eyes turned red. "Do you still blame me for borrowing the brooch?" Her voice was not loud, but loud enough for the ladies nearby to hear clearly. Immediately someone looked at me. "What brooch?" Tiet Chi Lan bit her lip. "I'm not good. I saw that you had a beautiful jade brooch and wanted to borrow it and wear it for a day. I didn't expect that you would rather break it and not let me borrow it." Trieu sighed. "You've been spoiled since childhood." Luc Hoai Canh's eyes looked at me a little more unhappy. "Chieu Vi, apologize." The surrounding area became quiet. I look at Tiet Chi Lan. She bowed her head, but the corners of her lips held a hint of a smile. I asked: "Do you really want that brooch?" Tiet Chi Lan was stunned. "What do you mean by that?" I took out a piece of broken jade from my sleeve. The fracture was very sharp. "That is the relic of my dead mother." Tiet Chi Lan's face turned pale. I continued: "Last night, Marquis came to borrow it for you. I said that since it's broken, there's no need to borrow it anymore." The eyes of the surrounding ladies changed. Luc Hoai Canh's face sank. "Tham Chieu Vi!" I looked at him. "Did I say something wrong?" No one said anything. The wind in front of the palace gate is cold. I put the broken piece of jade in my sleeve. "If Miss Tiet still wants, I can give the other half to you." Tiet Chi Lan's tears immediately fell. "Do you have to humiliate me like that?" Trieu immediately caught her and looked at me angrily. "Enough, go to the palace!" I said no more. Because the inner servant came to urge him. The feast is displayed at Truong Lac Palace. In the hall, incense smoke wafted and lanterns were lined up. The Queen Mother has not yet arrived, the female relatives of the palaces sit down according to hierarchy. The position of Vinh Ninh Marquis Palace is neither high nor low. Mrs. Trieu told me to sit at the end. Tiet Chi Lan sat next to her. Luc Hoai Canh was next to Nam Tinh, a screen away, his eyes still falling on Tiet Chi Lan. I raised the teacup, but before the tea had even entered my mouth, the Buddha necklace suddenly became hot. My fingertips stopped. The last time Buddha Pearl was this hot was ten years ago, behind Tran Quoc Tu mountain. That night, I bit and injured three evil servants. The old monk put a Buddha pearl around my neck and recited sutras all night long. He said: "Female donor, this thing can calm people for a lifetime." I asked him: "What if I can't control myself?" The old monk closed his eyes. "So that is the destiny of living beings." Outside the palace door came the high-pitched eunuch's voice.