Chapter 4 — In Rebirth, I Choose to Save People Before Saving Myself

I stared at those three words for a long time. Then put the phone in your pocket, turn around and walk straight into the night. Tomorrow... There's still a lot to do. Went to ICU to visit dad. Go home and tell my mother that I'm going to a disaster area. Pack your luggage, prepare enough clothes and medicine for three months. Think about it, who wrote my name on the list of the Provincial Health Department? The night wind blows from behind. As if pushing me to move on. I don't turn around. Early the next morning, I arrived at the ICU. Through the glass, I saw my mother resting her head sleeping next to the hospital bed. Dad lay on the bed, his body full of tubes. The heart rate monitor still made a steady sound of "tick... beep..." A nurse walked over to change the medicine and said softly:

"Is that the patient's family? Currently the vital signs are stable, but the danger is not yet over."

I replied softly. My voice woke my mother. She raised her head. As soon as he saw me, his eyes immediately turned red.

"Thanh Tu..."

She moved her lips, but could not finish her sentence. I looked at her bloodshot eyes from insomnia. Images of yesterday appeared in my head. The image of her kneeling in front of the dean's office door. Bloody knee. The tile floor is so hot it's blinding white. The cry of despair was heartbreaking. I said softly.

"I'm going to the northwest disaster area."

"I will leave the day after tomorrow."

Mom was stunned.

"What... did you say?"

"The hospital dispatched me."

I smiled.

"It's an emergency mission of the National Medical Rescue Team."

She immediately jumped up. The chair rubbing against the floor made a harsh sound.

"Impossible!"

She rushed over and grabbed my arm. Nails dig deep into skin.

"Your father isn't awake yet."

"How can I take care of him alone?"

"I can't go!"

I gently held her hand.

"I definitely have to go."

"A few days ago you said you would give up the official transfer exam and stay at the hospital to work well, right?"

"To the disaster area..."

I smiled softly.

"...also doing a good job as a doctor."

"Furthermore, this is a very rare opportunity."

"It will be very useful for your future."

I don't want to tell my mother about the accusation. Don't want her to know what Lam Hieu did. I don't want to... Let the scene of her kneeling in front of the dean's office repeat one more time.

"I'm gone..."

Mom burst into tears.

"What should my father do?"

"What if he wakes up and doesn't see me..."

"He will understand."

I replied softly.

"Dad is also a doctor."

"He understands better than anyone the responsibility of a person wearing a blouse."

Mom said nothing more. Just hold my arm tightly. Crying until my whole body trembled. I don't move either. Quietly let her hold it like that. Until the nurse came to remind me that visiting hours were over. Stepping out of the ICU. I turned my head and looked back once. Mom still pressed close to the glass looking after me. Her lips kept moving. I don't hear it. But I know... What are you talking about? Remember to be careful. Remember to come home early. Mom, I'm sorry. I turned my head. Walk faster. Can't turn back. Just turn around... I won't have the courage to leave. While packing up at home. Lam Hieu called. I don't listen. She called a second time. I immediately hung up. On the third time... I just clicked accept.

"Thanh Tu..."

Her voice was very soft. Brought sobs.

"Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to say."

I calmly replied.

"I know I'm wrong already."

She choked up.

"I shouldn't be jealous of you."

"You shouldn't be accused."

"I... I'm just so scared."

"Afraid if you were officially transferred..."

"...then I won't have a chance anymore."

"So..."

I asked coldly.

"You ruined my whole life?"

The other end of the line was silent for a long time.

"Today I went to the Disciplinary Inspection Committee to withdraw the denunciation document."

She spoke hoarsely.

"They said you gave up on the official transfer exam so that set of documents is no longer effective."

"But... taking it back is better than leaving it at that."

"Thanh Tu..."

"Can you forgive me?"

I stood in front of the bedroom door. Quietly looking at the pile of clothes spread out on the bed.

"Lin Hieu."

I spoke softly.

"Do you know..."

"Is my dad still in the ICU right now?"

The other end of the line. The sound of breathing suddenly stopped.

"Do you know..."

"Did my mother kneel in front of the principal's office for forty minutes yesterday?"

I continue.

"Do you know..."

"Yesterday..."

"Did I swallow an entire bottle of sleeping pills?"

Lam Hieu's voice suddenly rose high.

"You took sleeping pills? Miss..."

I calmly replied.

"I swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills."

"I'm reborn."

"I went back seven days ago."

"Rebirth?"

Lam Hieu was stunned.

"What do you mean?"

"Literally."

I smiled softly.

"I've been resurrected once, Lam Hieu."

"In my previous life, it was because of your accusations that I lost my reputation."

"Finally..."

"I killed myself by taking sleeping pills."

The other end of the line fell completely silent. Even the sound of breathing disappeared.

"So now..."

I asked slowly.

"You tell me."

"How do I forgive you?"

Lam Hieu did not answer. I hung up. Throw the phone on the bed and continue packing. Personal belongings. Laptop. The recorder. I held it in the palm of my hand. The cold metal shell is so painful it stings. In my previous life... I died without clarity. In this life... I must live clearly. The day after tomorrow, I will go to the northwest disaster area. I will save a lot of people. Do a lot of work. At the same time... I will also investigate one thing clearly. Who in the end... Wrote my name on the list of the Provincial Health Department. Why did that person help me?