Chapter 5 — Just Because I'm the Older Sister

Little sister, back when I entered university, our parents complained of poverty and refused to pay my tuition, yet turned right around and bought your younger sister a brand-new car. I carried that grievance with me for a lifetime, which is why whenever they come begging me for money now, I complain of poverty too. Little sister, you must remember that life is a vast and untamed wilderness. The most important thing right now is to strive, to persevere, and to keep pushing forward so you can escape. When that day comes, freedom will await you in all directions. Parental favoritism and all those trivial grievances will no longer matter at all. Little sister, I know how agonizing it is to admit to yourself that you are a child unloved by her parents. But some things in life simply defy all reason. The sooner you see the truth clearly, the sooner you will be able to let go. Not all parents are capable of loving their own children. During the time my mother loathed me the most, simply because I snatched a single cherry from my younger brother, she almost shoved my head down into the toilet bowl to drown me. But everything is fine now; all of that belongs to the past. Looking back on it now, it even feels rather humorous. It was nothing more than a single cherry after all...

Every word of encouragement was overflowing with hope, and every piece of comfort was offered by laying bare her own jagged scars. Each terrifying memory of the past echoed the plight of yet another unloved child. It was a pity that written words carried no sound, otherwise the sheer resonance would have been deafening. The young girl on the other end of the video call was sobbing uncontrollably, utterly unable to speak another word. My own vision grew slightly blurred. Instinctively, I raised a hand to wipe my eyes, only to realize that tears no longer flowed in torrents as they once did; there was only a faint, cool dampness. I lifted my head. The surrounding streets were bustling with chaotic noise, filled entirely with unfamiliar faces. Yet there was no fear whatsoever within my heart, only a profound sense of relief and liberation that I could scarcely put into words. After three seconds of silent reflection, I rotated the camera, panning across the vibrant street, the endless blue sky, and the swaying crowds outside.

This is a question I tormented myself with for eighteen years.

Was it true that if I tried just a little harder, they would spare me a few more glances?

Was it true that if I behaved just a little more obediently, they would pay me more attention?

Was it true that if I took better care of my younger sister, they would love me a little more as well?

I had constructed far too many hypotheses...

Only to realize in the end that human hearts are naturally born crooked.

Little sister, I am currently standing on the streets of America. A prestigious university here has admitted me on a special scholarship, covering my tuition and all other academic expenses in full.

Endless striving did not make them love me more, but I know that my efforts have made my future brilliantly radiant.

The viewership in the livestream reached its absolute peak at that exact moment. The reporter's face was flushed red with intense excitement. She desperately wanted to prolong the interaction and conduct a deeper interview, but I gently refused. At this point, the story had reached its natural conclusion. The moment I ended the broadcast, my phone began to vibrate incessantly. The screen displayed incoming calls from my mother.

I ignored them, following the digital map instructions to hail a taxi by the roadside. By the ninth ring, I finally pressed accept. It was not out of a sudden wave of softness, but simply because the persistent ringing had grown profoundly irritating. The very second the connection established, a shrill and accusing voice blared from the other end:

Jiang Qing Wei, what on earth did you mean by those things you said in the livestream? Since when have your father and I ever favored your sister?

Now several classmates of you two have come to interrogate Zhou Zhou, do you have any idea how heartbreakingly she is crying?

And furthermore, you are a young woman running off to America all by yourself in a completely foreign land, have you completely lost your mind?

Get your ass back here immediately right now!

I could not help but let out a soft laugh. Hearing my amusement, the mother on the other end instantly flew into a rage:

You still have the nerve to laugh...

Mother!

I spoke up, cutting her off midsentence.

You both constantly claim that you do not play favorites.

Yet the moment the call connected, the very first thing you cared about was the fact that Jiang Qing Zhou was crying.

And the second thing you mentioned was the fact that I am abroad all by myself.

My older brother's impatient voice suddenly chimed in:

Wei Wei, these are nothing more than insignificant trivial matters. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill and throwing these childish tantrums.

I let out a long sigh:

That is right, they are nothing more than insignificant trivial matters.

Yet such trivial matters happened hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of times!

Such trivial matters permeated the entirety of my elementary school, middle school, and high school years.

Brother, I do not want my university life to be ruined by those trivial matters any longer.

On the other end of the line, my father stubbornly kept up his tough stance:

Hmph, if she refuses to come back, then stop bothering to call her.

Once she runs through all the money she has on her, won't she still have to crawl back here in disgrace and beg us for help?

Truthfully, at this juncture, I should have simply hung up the phone. Yet a lingering trace of reluctance still churned within my chest, prompting me to speak once more:

Father, on my twelfth birthday, the two of you bought a complete set of Barbie dolls for my younger sister's birthday celebration.

I had spent the entire time eagerly anticipating my own gift.

Yet I waited and waited, until my younger sister wore a crown and blew out the candles.

Until the two of you sliced the largest and most delicious piece of cake for her, while I still received no gift at all.

And so, I cautiously asked the two of you if you had simply forgotten to take my gift out.