Chapter 1 — Leaving Home, I Wrote My Own Life

The temperature was forty degrees high, so my parents took a taxi home. One car, five people, no matter what the driver refuses to carry. Mom thought for a moment, pulled me, who had already gotten in the car, down and sat in herself. "This place is four kilometers from home, you can still exercise when you get back." Without giving me a chance to refuse, the taxi gradually drove away. I walked under the hot sun, sweat falling from my forehead, extremely bitter. In my parents' concept of education, I am the oldest child and must receive important training. Never celebrate my birthday, because you can't be successful without enjoying yourself. There is no private room, because people who do big things don't care about small details. Day after day, they told me: "Your parents put the most thought into you, your younger brother and sister don't have this treatment, you have to be grateful." But when they turned around, they organized a solemn fifteenth birthday party for their younger brother, and also bought their younger sister a beautiful gold necklace. When it was my turn, just for the 100,000 yuan bride price, my parents wanted to sell me to a fool, saying they didn't care about the training they gave me. Luckily, I scored very high on the university entrance exam, I could choose any school as I pleased. I chose the city furthest from home, the night I left. I don't need this type of key training anymore. The temperature was forty degrees high, so my parents took a taxi home. One car, five people, no matter what the driver refuses to carry. Mom thought for a moment, pulled me, who had already gotten in the car, down and sat in herself. "This place is four kilometers from home, you can still exercise when you get back." Without giving me a chance to refuse, the taxi gradually drove away. I walked under the hot sun, sweat falling from my forehead, extremely bitter. In my parents' concept of education, I am the oldest child and must receive important training. Never celebrate my birthday, because you can't be successful without enjoying yourself. There is no private room, because people who do big things don't care about small details. Day after day, they told me: "Your parents put the most thought into you, your younger brother and sister don't have this treatment, you have to be grateful." But when they turned around, they organized a solemn fifteenth birthday party for their younger brother, and also bought their younger sister a beautiful gold necklace. When it was my turn, just for the 100,000 yuan bride price, my parents wanted to sell me to a fool, saying they didn't care about the training they gave me. Luckily, I scored very high on the university entrance exam, I could choose any school as I pleased. I chose the city furthest from home, the night I left. I don't need this type of key training anymore. … By the time I got home from the sun, I was almost dehydrated. Mom saw my pale lips and frowned. "Oh my god, after only a few steps you're already weak like this. Normally, your nutritious food is actually given to the dog!" "I specially cooked red bean water for you, quickly bring the cup over here to drink." Next to her there were four cups, first pouring a cup for each of her younger brothers and sisters, then her father and herself. By the time I passed the cup, there was only residue left in the pot. Mom poured out the remaining bottom to me, rolling her eyes: "That's good for you, the rest is the essence." I didn't say anything, quietly drank half a bowl of red bean water mixed with residue. But it still didn't help, my mind became more and more dizzy, so I had to lean on the sofa to rest. In the next moment, a feather duster hit me so hard it hurt so much that I shrank into a ball. Mother scolded: "How many times have I told you, what kind of system is it to be diligent and lazy?" "Go wash all the family's clothes. Your sister wants to eat braised fish, your brother wants to eat braised ribs, why don't you go to work?"

When I regained my composure, the feather duster fell again and hit my waist. I was in so much pain that I was shaking. I quickly got up to wash clothes and cook dinner. But when I looked up, my younger brother next to me was placing his shoe soles on the dining table, shaking his feet, causing the whole table to sway. The girl lay on her side and scrolled through a short video, her collar open, almost revealing half of her breasts. Mom just glanced lightly, never saying they were lazy, nor did she force them to work. "Of the three children, we value you the most, so we are stricter with you." Mom started to nag again. "Mom and Dad put all their energy into you, there's no time left to care about them, you should understand a bit." Hearing that, the younger sister rolled her eyes. "In my eyes, there's only you, the two children must have been picked up." The younger brother said while playing the game: "Haven't you gotten used to it in so many years? The things in the house are all yours, we're nothing." Listening to them talk about suffering, the mother felt a bit guilty, reflecting on herself. "It's true that Mom and Dad haven't done a good enough job and have taken you two lightly." "However, your mother and father's energies are all focused on your eldest sister. In the future, if you two want anything, just go find your sister and ask for it." The younger sister pouted, not thinking it was right. "Find your sister to ask for it? What if I don't agree?" "He dares!" My mother immediately became impatient, "I've worked hard to raise him, now I've finally finished the college entrance exam, I can go out and make money and contribute to my family, which is the right thing to do." Just a few sentences put all the responsibility on me, not giving me a chance to refute at all. Her younger sister hugged her and coaxed her: "Mom is the best." The mother patted her head: "Still the second daughter with a sweet mouth, unlike the eldest child, she clearly gets the most, but as if her parents owed her, she won't even say a word." I looked at my sister intimately holding her mother's arm. Remember when I was little, I also wanted to receive a little love from them. Every time I got a high score on an exam, I happily held my certificate and stood in front of my parents, waiting for a compliment. But what comes back is always: "If you do so well on the exam, why don't you know how to teach your younger brother and sister? You're selfish, you wasted your time training me!" But they didn't train me at all, my good results were due to my own efforts. Tuition, miscellaneous fees, and exam fees all had to be paid for by doing housework, which was said to train me to be independent and self-reliant. The school supplies are all leftovers from my younger brother and younger sister, because I am the older sister and have to be thrifty and lead by example. They never even attended parent-teacher conferences, because they were afraid that I would be pampered and arrogant. I can't tell whether they want to be good for me or not. Just know that, from them, I don't receive even half of the attention and love. While lost, my father tapped my forehead. "Why are you standing there, don't go cook, the whole family is waiting for you!" I had no choice but to drag my heavy limbs towards the kitchen. Behind me came my mother's scolding voice: "Just cooking for the family, your face is as long as a pump, you're showing off your face for anyone to see!" Recovering, I pulled my sick body into the kitchen. I remember when I was six years old, my parents wanted to foster my DIY skills and forced me to learn how to cook. But the cooking shovel is so heavy and the stove is as tall as me. Every time I get splashed with hot oil, I burst into tears. Mom never cared about me or comforted me, just said I was stupid and couldn't do even this little thing. My head hurts so much. During the cooking process, I was unable to stand several times. Hot oil splashed on my hand, creating a blister. The fire is still burning, the rice is slightly burnt. At the dining table, my sister took a bite and immediately spat it back onto the plate. "It's so hard to eat! Sis, are you trying to give me this to give me a stomach ache?" Mom also suddenly changed her face after taking a bite. She pulled me out to the large living room

shouted. “Kneel down!” My mind went blank. His legs were weak, he could no longer control himself and slid to the ground. Chicken feather brooms fell on me one by one. My mother's voice was hoarse as she educated me: "Haven't I told you yet, wasting food is a big no-no, if you make food like this, how can we eat?" "We are so dedicated to nurturing you, yet you keep making this kind of low-level mistake, how many times do I have to say it before you remember?" I no longer had the strength, my whole body fell limp to the ground. In the whirling world, I saw the smiling faces of my brother and sister watching the fun. This scene, while I was growing up, appeared countless times. If you make even a small mistake, all you get is curses and beatings. Dad helplessly squatted next to me. "You have to believe that we beat you because we want to be good for you. If you don't remember these things, you will definitely suffer later." Mom's emotions were too excited, her body wobbled a few times. Dad immediately helped her to the edge of the sofa and poured a glass of water for her. Said to me again: "Look at how angry you are making your mother, quickly come here and apologize to your mother." My whole body trembled, tears fell uncontrollably. "But, my body is also very uncomfortable..." But no one noticed. The younger sister picked up the phone and complained: "Mom, give me money, I want to order food from outside, the food you cook is simply inedible." His younger brother lost patience and stood up to leave: "Everyone is so noisy, please don't disturb me from playing the game." Dad immediately lowered the volume and patted my shoulder. "Go wash the dishes first, I have to go to the restaurant for breakfast in the morning." "You said, your body is uncomfortable, you can't do it anymore!" I used all my strength and repeated it once. Dad was stunned for a moment, seemingly not expecting me to react so loudly. Only now did he notice my pale face. With a slightly unnatural expression, he opened his mouth: "Okay, okay, don't shout, it's like your parents are abusing you." "If you're not feeling well, go to bed, there's still six hours until you wake up, that's enough for you to rest." I smiled sarcastically, even though I was upset to this extent, they still only cared about whether I could do the work for them or not. Mother's emotions could no longer be contained, she used her hand to punch father's chest. "Why are you pampering her? Didn't you hear the tone in which she spoke to us?" "We treat her so well, yet she dares to yell at us, it seems like I've raised this daughter in vain!" But clearly I just wanted to take a day of rest for myself, none of them listened to me. I couldn't stand it anymore, opened the folding bed in the living room, and buried myself in the blanket. The living room was very noisy, my parents' scolding came from time to time, I couldn't sleep anyway. At this moment, I really want a room that belongs to me. When I was young, I crammed together with my younger sister in the same room. Later, my sister wanted her own space, so my parents immediately kicked me out. They said: "In the future, when you enter society, the environment you will experience will be much worse than this. We will just let you adapt first." As for my bias, they always have their own way of saying it. At this moment, the old phone placed next to the pillow vibrated. I opened it, the phone froze for a long time before a message from the homeroom teacher appeared. She was urging me to fill out my application and sent me a lot of reference information about the schools. I looked for each school on the map. In the end, I chose Qingbei University, the farthest from home. More than three thousand kilometers from home, starting from our small town, we had to take the train for three days and two nights. The homeroom teacher was happy that I chose a key school, but worried about whether it was too far from home. "Or choose Hoa University, close to home, also school 985."