Chapter 3 — Leaving the Capital, Zhaowei

The heavy wooden wheels ground relentlessly through the wet mud, crushing the delicate, fragrant sachet beneath their weight. The green bamboo branches that I had spent countless long hours meticulously embroidering were pressed deep into the filthy slime. I stood frozen in place, a cold numbness washing over me, as if someone had delivered a vicious, burning slap right across my face.

The dark veil of memory closed once more. I slowly lowered my gaze.

"That was merely the foolish prattle of a childish girl, Marquis. I sincerely hope you will not drag it out to mock me again."

Pei Yanzhuo studied me in silence for a long moment.

"Are you still holding a grudge against me because I deliberately opened the ancestral hall back then, struck your name from the family registry, and ruined your betrothal?"

"Besides, that heir to the Prince of Ning was hardly a virtuous man."

At that time, my marriage contract had just been established. The Prince of Ning's estate was a family of the highest nobility, and the heir possessed a notoriously unrestrained and flamboyant disposition. Even with his somewhat checkered reputation as a profligate spendthrift, he was certainly not a match that someone of my lowly status as a concubine's daughter could afford to disdain. He intended to marry me as his primary wife, and I had already been immensely content with that arrangement. But soon after, my true origins were exposed, and the marriage was naturally annulled. I turned my face away and let out a faint, dry laugh.

"I was never truly a legitimate daughter of this estate; my life was cheap and insignificant from the start, and I never dared to aspire to noble connections. Being raised within these walls for so many years was already a boundless grace. How could I dare harbor any resentment?"

"Moreover, those old days have long since passed, and my life now is truly peaceful and good."

My husband, Shen Qingyan, may only be a poor scholar, but his temperament is exceptionally kind, and he treats me with gentle, meticulous care. My legal mother, feeling deeply apologetic that I was married off in such haste, prepared a generous dowry for me. After our wedding, we purchased a modest courtyard in the southern part of the city, and our days passed in tranquil, independent contentment. Hearing this, the tension around Pei Yanzhuo's brows and eyes relaxed slightly.

"It is good that you have not suffered any hardships."

Abruptly, he turned around and retrieved a dark wooden box from the cabinet behind him. The box was crafted from ebony, its lid intricately carved with intertwined vines and branches. He extended it toward me.

"This is for you."

I did not reach out to take it.

"What is the meaning of this, Marquis?"

He said softly:

"The lantern artisans in the Jiangnan region possess extraordinary craftsmanship."

"The moment I laid eyes upon it, I knew it was something you would adore."

Pei Yanzhuo opened the box. Resting inside was a tiny, exquisite rabbit lantern, no larger than the palm of a hand. Fine bamboo splints formed its delicate frame, covered in translucent silk to shape the recumbent form of a hare. For a fleeting second, I stood utterly stunned. Such a masterpiece of craftsmanship was certainly not something one could ever hope to stumble upon at an ordinary street market. To call it breathtakingly clever would not be an exaggeration. Pei Yanzhuo lowered his gaze to look at the lantern.

"I still remember that year at the lantern festival, you also bought a little rabbit lantern."

"Only, amidst the surging crowd later on, the lantern was knocked from your hand and dropped."

"When we turned back to purchase another, the vendor had already sold out."

"All the way back to the manor, you kept murmuring about it under your breath."

"You said its round little ears were simply adorable."

Those bygone days were already buried in a distant past. Many of the intricate details had faded to the point where even I could scarcely remember them clearly. Yet he recalled every single word with startling precision. Pei Yanzhuo pushed the box a fraction closer to me.

"When I saw this lantern down in Jiangnan this time, I bought it without hesitation."

He uttered the final two words so softly they barely stirred the air.

"For you."

I stared down at the rabbit lantern, initially intending to refuse outright. But the words stalled on the tip of my tongue, and I swallowed them back down. My return to the manor today was, after all, in accordance with my legal mother's wishes—to mend fences and ease the relationship with Pei Yanzhuo. At present, Pei Yanzhuo enjoyed the emperor's favor. Should Shen Qingyan eventually enter official service and step into the imperial court, he would inevitably have to navigate the treacherous waters of the capital's powerful elite. I did not ask Pei Yanzhuo to show special favor to my husband; I only prayed he would not use old grievances to make things difficult. Since Pei Yanzhuo was taking the initiative to seek reconciliation and restore a semblance of familial ties, maintaining a cold, hostile front would only make me appear ungracious and ignorant of the ways of the world. Therefore, I closed the wooden box and drew it into my arms.

"Thank you, Elder Brother."

Hearing the title of elder brother pass my lips, Pei Yanzhuo's throat visibly tightened. A heavy, suffocating silence settled over the chamber. I had no idea what else to say. After a very long pause, Pei Yanzhuo finally broke the stillness:

"This recent journey to Jiangnan to investigate the corruption case was exceptionally perilous. The local magistrates colluded directly with wealthy merchants, and even the river bandits of Jiangnan intervened."

"There was one instance when I was pursued right to the edge of a sheer cliff. A poisoned arrow pierced my shoulder, and I plunged into a deep ravine."

Uncertain why he was suddenly recounting such a harrowing ordeal, I could only lower my voice and murmur:

"Fortunately, Eldest Brother is blessed with great fortune and managed to turn misfortune into safety."

Pei Yanzhuo continued, unyielding:

"I lay unconscious at the bottom of the ravine for three full days. In every dream, that night played over and over again."

"The long avenue was as bright as day, and you were holding your rabbit lantern, turning your head to smile at me..."

My heart violently leaped in my chest. These words bore no resemblance to anything an older brother should ever say to his younger sister. Unconsciously, I parted my lips:

"Eldest Brother..."

Yet Pei Yanzhuo did not stop. He gazed at me with an intensity that burned, something wild and frantic surging in the depths of his dark eyes.

"Zhaowei, it was only then that I fully understood my own heart."

"Every time I looked at you before, I was harsh and distant simply because each glance made me feel as though my crimes deserved a thousand deaths."

"To think that I could harbor such forbidden, tainted desires toward my own flesh and blood—it was utterly despicable!"

"But things are different now. With my own hands, I opened the ancestral hall and struck your name from the family registry."

"We are no longer bound by blood as brother and sister!"

I spun around on my heel, desperate to flee.