Chapter 18 — My Late Light

“Sorry, let's divorce.” She didn't want to involve him. She didn't want to let Co Tinh Da fall into the Chu family's dispute because of her, taking on unnecessary trouble. Co Tinh Da was stunned. He looked at Hua Nam Am, saw the hesitation and retreat in her eyes, his heart ached: "Hua Nam Am, do you feel like I'm being good to you just because I pity you? Do you feel like I'm pitiful for you?" "No! I'm not helping you, I really like you!" "A long time ago, I liked you!" "I like your stubbornness, like your honesty, like your stubbornness towards wishes." "I like you, not because you need help, but because you are Hua Nam Am." Co Tinh Da sat beside the hospital bed, her fingers gently caressing the back of Hua Nam Am's hand, her eyes gentle but determined. He spoke very slowly, each word and each sentence seemed to be engraved in her heart: "Nam Am, do you know? Since I was very young, I have liked you." "The first time I met you, you were arguing with a group of children, clearly being bullied to the point of red eyes, but still refusing to admit defeat." "I feel that this girl is very stubborn, and also really hurts people." "Later, I couldn't help but want to get close to you, I want to tease you, I want to make you so angry that you stomp your feet, and I want to be the first person to appear next to you when you're sad." "I don't know how to say nice things, nor do I know how to comfort others." "So every time I see you sad, I can only clumsily buy your favorite strawberry cake, secretly put it on your window sill." "I know you like design, so I bought a lot of design books, pretended like I didn't understand, and asked you as an excuse." "I know you're afraid of the dark. So every time the power goes out, I quietly stand downstairs, waiting until the lights come back on before leaving." Hua Nam Am was stunned. She remembered now. As a child, every time she cried because her parents were biased, the next day a strawberry cake would always appear on the window sill. She always thought it was some kind guy in the neighborhood who misplaced it. It turned out to be Co Tinh Da. She remembered a few times when the power went out, she was so scared that she hid under the blanket and trembled, but just by opening the window she could see a vague figure downstairs. At that time, she thought she was patrolling the house security. Turns out it's also you. Co Tinh Da bowed his head, the corner of his mouth carrying a bitter smile: "I originally thought, wait until we are a little older, I will tell you." "But I'm too timid, I'm afraid to say it out loud, even my friends can't do it anymore." "So I kept dragging it on and on, until you met Chu Nghien Thu." At that time, Chu Nghien Thu appeared so brilliantly. He is handsome, gentle, knows how to say sweet words, and can even give Hua Nam Am 999 roses in front of the whole school. What about Co Tinh Da? He only knows how to speak rudely, only knows how to make her angry, only knows how to stand quietly behind her, watching her smile because of another man. Co Tinh Da is very cowardly, he doesn't dare to admit that he likes Hua Nam Am. Until one year's summer vacation, Hua Nam Am held a photo of Chu Nghien Thu and said to him: "Co Tinh Da, tell me the good news, you have a boyfriend." Co Tinh Da's world collapsed at that moment. He really wanted to go crazy, really wanted to scream, really wanted to say to Hua Nam Am: "Don't like him, can you try liking me?" The words swirled around his lips round and round. But he looked at Hua Nam Am's sparkling eyes, full of joy. Immediately, he couldn't say anything anymore. No matter who Hua Nam Am chooses. As long as she's happy, that's fine. Co Tinh Da originally intended to let go. But when he saw Chu Nghien Thu hurt Hua Nam Am over and over again because of Chu So So, it made Hua Nam Am feel angry. Looking at Zhou Yanshu's absence at her wedding,

Seeing her humiliated in front of everyone. Finally he couldn't bear it anymore. He didn't want to continue watching her suffer, he didn't want to continue watching her shed tears because of someone who didn't love her. He wanted to take her back, even though she still had the shadow of Chu Nghien Thu in her heart, he also wanted to use his own way to let her know, in this world there is still someone who will consider her the whole world. "Nam Am." Co Tinh Da's voice was a bit hoarse, he raised his head, his eyes were red, but his eyes were filled with unprecedented determination: "I have always liked you very much. A long time ago, I liked you." Having finished speaking, he stopped, the corners of his mouth curved. with a self-mocking smile: "But I'm not good at expressing myself, I'm always clumsy, I don't know how to tell you that I like you." "Later, I saw you liking Chu Nghien Thu, saw you smiling because of him, crying because of him, I was about to let go." "I thought as long as you were happy, I could stand and look at you from afar." There was a hint of choking in his voice: "But I saw him treating you badly, seeing you being hurt by him." "I regret it, I really regret not having the courage to tell you that I like you at first, not having the courage to win you back."