Chapter 18 — No One Wants to Lose

The regional finals took place earlier than originally planned — the organizers announced the schedule change just a week before the competition date because the district gymnasium had a different usage schedule at the old time. That means Lam Khe has less than two weeks left from the night he witnessed the scene at the pub to mentally prepare for the most important match in his chess journey.

During those days, even though she tried her best to focus on practice, Lam Khe still felt a dull instability in her heart, like a small crack in the solid foundation she had worked so hard to build over the past few months. She still hasn't told Nam Phong about the incident with her father, making her feel even more lonely in facing that worry.

When the final day came, the district gymnasium was filled with more spectators than in the previous two rounds - parents, teachers, and students from both Trung Vuong and Nguyen Du schools all came to cheer, creating an unprecedented tense and exciting atmosphere.

Before entering the competition area, Lam Khe stood alone in the hallway, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself, like she usually does before every important match. But this time, no matter how many times she breathed, the feeling of insecurity still refused to go away, clinging to her chest like a heavy rock. She looked around, saw Yen Chi waving and cheering from the audience area, saw Nam Phong quickly exchanging a few words with Quang Minh before getting into position, saw Mr. Hung standing in the corner of the room with an expression of both worry and expectation. All those eyes, instead of motivating her as usual, now made her feel even more pressured.

She took out her phone, intending to text her father as a small habit before each important match recently, but then put the phone away, not knowing what to write in the current situation between father and daughter. That absence, no matter how small, made her feel more depressed than ever, as if a familiar source of motivation had just been taken away right when she needed it the most.

Lam Khe was placed in table number two, facing a strong opponent from Nguyen Du school, a girl named Dieu Anh, who had helped her team win the regional championship two years in a row. As she sat down in front of the chessboard, Lam Khe felt an unusual trembling in her hands, different from the positive nervousness she had felt in previous matches.

The match begins. In the first moves, Lam Khe still tried to maintain her form, applying what she had practiced, but her mind was constantly distracted by the image of her father sitting in front of the chess board at the pub, by the feeling of insecurity about the fragility of family trust.

At the fifteenth move, when she had the opportunity to make a move to sacrifice a piece to create an offensive advantage — a situation similar to what she had practiced well over the past few months — Lam Khe suddenly felt a sudden panic rising in her heart.

The image of the stack of money placed next to the chess board, the words "you'll definitely win" from the man named Bay, and her father's torn face appeared clearly in her mind, as if the chess board in front of her was now turning into the embodiment of an old obsession. Her hands trembled, and instead of making the bold, carefully calculated sacrifice, she withdrew, choosing a safe, passive move.

From that moment, unconsciously, Lam Khe completely returned to her old defensive playing style, an instinct ingrained for six years that she thought she had learned to control. She cowered, refusing all opportunities to attack, even though they were clearly in front of her eyes, focusing only on not losing any troops, not falling into any risky situations.

Dieu Anh, a seasoned chess player, quickly recognized the unusual change in his opponent's playing style, and began to take full advantage of that passivity, gradually tightening the game, creating constant pressure without giving Lam Khe any breathing room to regain composure.

From afar, Nam Phong, having ended his game with a victory, stood observing Lam Khe's chessboard with an increasingly worried expression. He immediately noticed something unusual — she was missing opportunity after opportunity, just like the first days he met her, before all the changes began.

He wanted to step forward, wanted to say something to help her regain her spirits, but the strict competition rules did not allow any outside interference while the game was going on. He could only stand there, helplessly watching Lam Khe sink deeper and deeper into a passive position.

By move forty, Lam Khe's position had become extremely difficult - although not completely lost, she could only defend and no longer had any ability to counterattack. She felt like she was sinking into a deep hole with no way out, each move becoming more and more desperate than calculated.

Finally, after nearly two tense hours, Dieu Anh closed the game with a convincing victory, taking full advantage of the biggest strategic mistake Lam Khe made right from the fifteenth move - the moment she withdrew from the opportunity to make a decisive attack because of a sudden surge of fear.

"Thank you for the good game," Dieu Anh said as he shook her hand after the end, sounding somewhat surprised. "To be honest, I heard you've been playing pretty well offensively lately, but today it seems like you're playing completely defensively."

Lam Khe could not answer, just nodded awkwardly, a feeling of paralysis spread throughout his body. She looked down at the chessboard, where her king stood alone among the piles of ruined pieces left behind, and realized that this was exactly the image she had been trying to avoid for six years—not of losing, but of losing because of her own fear, not because her opponent was better.

She stood up from the chessboard, as if her limbs no longer belonged to her, walking out of the competition area in a state of confusion, not looking at anyone, not speaking to anyone, just wanting to find some hidden corner to hide from everyone's eyes, especially the eyes of Nam Phong, who she knew was definitely watching her with a disappointment that she did not dare to face right now.

The team's final result, fortunately, was not as bad as Lam Khe's own game. Nam Phong won convincingly in table one, Quang Minh also won in table three, while Duc Anh held a draw in table four. Including Lam Khe's score, Trung Vuong's team won the final with a narrow score of two and a half points to one and a half points, enough to officially win the regional championship and win a representative spot in the upcoming city-level tournament.

The awards ceremony took place immediately afterward, with Trung Vuong's team receiving the championship trophy amid the applause and cheers of excitement from the whole school. Teacher Hung could not hide his emotions, hugging each member of the team, while Duc Anh shouted with joy until his voice became hoarse. But amidst that shared joy, Lam Khe stood still, a strange feeling of being lost creeping into her heart - she knew clearly that, if it weren't for her three teammates to shoulder the score, her collapse at table number two could have caused the whole team to lose everything. The final victory did not erase the feeling of personal failure weighing heavily on her heart. On the contrary, it also made her feel like a lucky burden being protected by her teammates, not a real contribution to that victory.

Duc Anh and Quang Minh, completely immersed in the joy of victory, pulled out to the rest area to celebrate boisterously, almost ignoring Lam Khe's unusually quiet expression. She stood quietly in the corner of the hall, hugging her school bag, feeling like an outsider among her own team, a feeling of isolation that she had never experienced since joining the club, even though around her, everyone was celebrating because her team had just won the championship.

Yen Chi found her first, hugged her best friend without saying a word, simply standing there, giving Lam Khe a solid support amid the mental panic surrounding her. "You don't have to say anything," Yen Chi whispered. "I just want you to know I'm here."

Lam Khe nodded, tears threatened to flow but she tried to hold back, not wanting to cry in such a crowded public place. She knew that eventually she would have to face Nam Phong, with his eyes, but right now, she just wished she could disappear from this hall as quickly as possible, avoiding all looks, all questions, all the disappointments that she felt she deserved to receive.