Chapter 4 — Price

She recounted her harrowing experience: While recovering at a rehabilitation hospital, she was sexually harassed by the doctor who treated her. My ears were ringing, my head was pounding. In my mind, I only kept a few clear keywords: Phuc Khang Hospital. Doctor Tong Hien. The dark memories of the past suddenly came back, like a dark wave that swallowed me. I once again fell into the scary nightmare of the past. 11 Before the accident, I was an independent, optimistic girl, full of confidence and sunshine. After the accident that left me disabled, I began to become self-conscious, sensitive, suspicious, and emotionally unstable. I cowered in the house, didn't want to see anyone, and often burst into tears for no reason. After going to the doctor, I learned that I had a mental illness. I don't know how many times I woke up in the middle of the night, hid in the bathroom and cried, and when I came out, I saw Pho Chi waiting outside. He was still sleepy, reaching out to wipe away the tears at the corner of my eyes, as if nothing was serious, gently urging me to go back to bed and sleep. After lying down for less than two minutes, Pho Chi fell into a deep sleep. And I was restless and couldn't sleep. During that time, I realized that my unstable emotions could easily affect others. My parents have passed away, and I have just crossed the line between life and death in a difficult way. I don't want to continue to bother Pho Chi or my family because of my mental illness. Therefore, I persistently went to the doctor, took medicine, and tried to restore motor function, hoping to return to normal life soon. At that time, Pho Chi's work was very busy, and the old rehabilitation hospital was too far away. The Pho family immediately transferred me to Phuc Khang hospital, assigning an acquaintance of theirs named Tong Duong Hien to be in charge of treatment. At that time, Tong Duong Hien was very famous, making an appointment with him was extremely difficult. Under his help, my condition improved significantly. Doctor Tong looks gentle, polite, calm, and is about the same age as my father. I quickly developed a sense of trust in him. The second month in Phuc Khang, after finishing acupuncture and physical therapy, I fell asleep in the rest room. Tong Duong Hien alone pushed the door open, put his hand inside my skirt. To this day, I still can't calm down every time I recall that memory. The first time he abused me, I discovered it, but Tong Duong Hien still calmly withdrew his hand, saying he was just checking the condition of my legs. He was so calm that I couldn't trust my own judgment. I left the hospital, but that horrible feeling still stuck like a ghost. I was married, had children, and am not a naive girl who doesn't understand things. Tong Duong Hien's behavior clearly exceeded the limit. However, I trusted him, and during the recovery process, we could not avoid physical contact. I kept convincing myself that maybe I was thinking too much, maybe I was just misunderstanding. But every time I close my eyes, his muddy and terrifying eyes appear in my mind — like an uncontrollable instinct. I felt uneasy day and night, starting to fear going to the hospital, afraid of having to face him. Very hesitant After a long time, I finally spoke to Pho Chi and asked to be transferred to another hospital. He asked why, I said Tong Duong Hien had done things that made me feel very uncomfortable. Before he could say anything clearly, he rubbed his forehead and absent-mindedly reassured: "I'm very busy these days, can you be a little better? For my sake, try to endure a little longer." He didn't even ask me what happened. Looking at his tired face and frowning eyebrows, I could only swallow everything I wanted to say... back inside. I was afraid of Tong Duong Hien, but even more afraid of the frowning eyes of the Pho family, afraid that I would become a burden and make them more upset. The second time he was abused, it was still in that treatment room. When Tong Duong Hien put his hand in, I immediately woke up, my body frozen and lying on the bed. He realized I was awake, saw I wasn't resisting, and soon brazenly went deeper. I screamed, but he immediately covered my mouth with his hand. I no longer remember specific details, I only remember the room being chaotic, with many people rushing in to stop me. Everything I could hold, I threw madly at him. Tong Duong Hien held his bloody forehead, hid by the door, and glared at me angrily. He told everyone: "The patient had a mental attack and suddenly attacked me." I lost control, my whole body trembled, tears flowed non-stop, grabbed a nurse's sleeve, and spoke incoherently. The nurse seemed to understand, but seemed not to understand. Until Pho Chi arrived, I threw myself into his arms, and until my emotions calmed down, I trembled and told everything. Tong Duong Hien's abuse was on my leg - the leg was injured, the muscles had atrophied, and it was full of ugly scars. For the rest of my life, I will never forget Pho Chi's hesitant eyes at that time. His first reaction… was disbelief. After I insisted, Pho Chi agreed to report to the police. Tong Duong Hien kept denying it, saying it was just a normal treatment process and didn't understand why I was so excited. A famous doctor, known for his medical ethics. A patient with a mental illness and a history of emotional disorders. No one believes me. I don't have any evidence to prove what happened in the break room that day. When everyone rushed in, they only saw a woman who was crazy as if she was sick. Tong Duong Hien's head was wrapped in a white bandage, his face full of resentment, as if he had just suffered a terrible injustice. He pointed at my leg, stood in front of many people and laughed: "Even if I had real intentions, it wouldn't be enough to attack that leg, right?" Countless eyes turned towards me. At that moment, I felt like a rat hiding in a sewer. Even if I swear to the sky, no one will believe me. They judge me. They judged my appearance, my clothes, and even whether I was attractive enough to be sexually harassed. When it was discussed, it was as if I had experienced another abuse. In the end, this incident sank to nothing. The wife of the Pho family (Pho Chi's mother) gently comforted me: "Is it because you took too much psychological medicine, causing hallucinations?" She also analyzed: "Maybe it's because you're too sensitive? The doctor has to see you every day." I've come into contact with so many patients..." She advised me: "Doctor Tong was able to get this job because of his relationship." If you make a fuss, it's not good for anyone. If not, let him silently apologize to you, okay?" She also said: "A Chi's career has stagnated so many times because of you, but now it's only slightly improving... but you let this happen..." The door to the room was tightly closed. Through the reflection on the window glass, I saw a familiar figure standing outside. He clearly heard everything going on in the room, but... still did not push the door open. Everyone wished me a quick recovery, but no one really considered me a normal person. I burst into tears, even thinking that it would have been better if I had just had my leg amputated. I looked up and asked the doctor if I could still have surgery to remove it now. At that time, Pho Chi was working far away, the doctor called to inform him, and he immediately called me back. His voice was extremely cold, and also contained irritation. I don't remember what he said, I only remember the last sentence, he coldly said: "Lam Tu, having to revolve around you all year round is really tiring." I hung up the phone, my face bewildered, thinking for a long time. In the end, I could only keep telling myself: "That's it, that's it... there's nothing to lose, there's not a single piece of meat missing." What he said was not wrong. No one can revolve around me all day and night. I have nothing left, only this family left. As long as Pho Chi believes what I say, that's enough. I hypnotized myself like that — as long as he believes, I still have the only person in this world I can rely on. Until the rare time we got close to each other, while Pho Chi was doing foreplay, I couldn't control myself and remembered the scene of being abused. The whole body feels uncomfortable, nausea rises in the chest. My eyes were red and I asked in a hoarse voice: "Don't you find my leg disgusting?" He kissed me and gently comforted me: "No, you're beautiful everywhere." I deliberately held his hand, leading it to the scarred calf - a place that was bulging, constricted, and wrinkled. Pho Chi, who was enthusiastic, suddenly stopped. We looked at each other quietly for a long time. At that moment, a huge feeling of despair enveloped me.