Chapter 3 — See You in the Next Life

Tu Chap Ngon looked at my mother, his voice calm yet with every single word as solid as falling stones: "I take it upon myself to protect her. Because for all her life, no one has ever done that for her, and as for me—I am willing." He pulled me behind his back, shielding me. My heart felt as though someone was squeezing the life out of it, and tears nearly spilled over. For the very first time in my life, someone stood up against my cold, unfeeling family for my sake. My mother was left speechless, her face flushed bright red with fury: "Manh Phon Du, how dare you bring an outsider here to deal with us?! Have you lost your mind?!"

I looked at the three of them, countless long and freezing nights flashing through my mind. I had studied and worked simultaneously, pinching every single penny just to satisfy their bottomless greed. "Have I lost my mind?" I raised my head, my voice trembling: "Then did any of you ever consider my feelings? Living up until now, I have never had a single day where I lived for myself!" My younger brother impatiently interrupted: "Sister, don't put on such a pitiful act. Who told you to be a girl while I am a boy? That is simply your fate."

That remark felt like a blade plunging straight into my chest. I could no longer hold it back. "Fate?" I let out a cold laugh, "You people have no right to speak those two words. My life is not an ATM for your household!"

"Get out. Get out of my house, and never let me see you again." My voice was terrifyingly calm, my gaze devoid of any lingering familial warmth. My mother was driven mad with rage, pointing a finger right at my face: "You dare chase us out? You ungrateful wretch, you unprincipled, faithless beast..." They raised their hands as if to strike me—

Yet their hands were firmly caught in Tu Chap Ngon's grip. "You are her family members, so I will not hit you." He coldly cut them off, his gaze as sharp as a blade: "But if you do not get out right now, I will make sure the three of you cannot walk out of this residential complex." "Get out."

The three of them turned pale with fright, their eyes filled with deep malice, yet they dared not utter another word, only turning away in angry fury to slam the door behind them. "You've got a lot of nerve, treating your family like this just for some man. You'd better watch out so he doesn't cheat you out of every last cent!"

The moment the door clicked shut, my legs turned to jelly and I collapsed completely against the wall, tears streaming down my face drop by drop. "Tu Chap Ngon... I am sorry... you should not have been dragged into this..." I looked at him through a watery veil, my voice choked. He sighed, gently pulling me into his embrace: "Manh Phon Du, why is it that you are always apologizing to others, yet you never ask... have you ever apologized to yourself?" He held me tightly, as though wanting to use his entire body to shield me. Resting against his chest, I could finally hold back no longer, bursting into tears like a small child, as if wailing away every single grievance suppressed for over twenty years of my life.

That evening, it was a rare occurrence for me to actively buy alcohol, drinking alone until I was half-intoxicated. When Tu Chap Ngon returned home, I was sprawled across the table, my face flushed bright red, my eyes hazy and unfocused. He sighed, gently helping me up: "Why on earth did you drink yourself into this state?"

I grabbed the hem of his shirt again, looking up at him with a silly, foolish smile: "Do you know... when I was little and had a near-fatal fever, they locked me outside the room while holding a birthday party for my brother in the living room..." His expression flickered with deep distress, his voice softening: "Stop talking... I know. The last time you had a nightmare, it was about that."

I shook my head, staring at him with aggrieved eyes: "No, you don't know... In my final year of high school, I ranked first in the entire school, but mother told me not to 'steal all the spotlight from my brother' and forced me to drop out and go to work..." I laughed bitterly, my voice hoarse: "Do you know? The very first time I received my paycheck, I only wanted to buy a dress for myself, but mother said 'a girl wearing dresses is a waste of money'..."

He looked at me with immense heartache, reaching out to gently stroke my hair: "The past is behind us, and from now on, no one will ever treat you like that again." My nose stung fiercely, and suddenly I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist: "Tu Chap Ngon... I only have one year left... do you know, I am dying..."

His body instantly stiffened, and he lowered his gaze to look at me in utter disbelief: "What... what did you just say?"

The alcohol had surged to my head, leaving scarcely any reason behind. I spilled everything in one continuous breath: "I truly do not have much time left to live... that is why I hired you. I only wanted to deceive myself, to pretend just once what it feels like to be loved... But what should I do now... I think... I have genuinely fallen for you..."

He remained silent for a very long time. Finally, he let out a long breath, gently pulling me into his arms, his voice trembling as though desperately suppressing something: "Why are you so foolish..."

I could no longer maintain my composure, holding onto him as I shook with sobs: "I am sorry... I should not have deceived you... you should leave... I am not worthy of you being like this..." Yet he only held me tighter, his voice tender yet filled with unyielding determination: "I am not going anywhere. Manh Phon Du, no matter how much time you have left... this one year, I will walk beside you until the very end, alright?"

I stared at him in a daze, tears breaking like a shattered dam, streaming endlessly down my cheeks. "Alright..."

In that exact moment, I truly understood... My heart had entirely, completely, surrendered itself to that young man.

4

I knew that I was committing a mistake that was both foolish and deeply selfish. That night, when the alcohol wore off and I lay in bed, recalling the words I had tearfully confessed to Tu Chap Ngon, my heart felt as though it were being carved to pieces by a knife. Outside, the sky gradually grew bright, and I lay with my eyes wide open, staring blankly at the ceiling, unable to catch a wink of sleep all night.

I finally realized—I had completely sunk into this fabricated play. I loved him. I loved him even more than my own life. And that made it far too dangerous. I ought not to drag him down into my abyss of despair. Nor should I allow him, after my death, to live out his days in lonely remembrance. If that was the case, it would be better for me to depart first, bringing this fragile romance to an end right from the start.

The following morning, I dragged my exhausted body out of bed, gathered every bit of cash I had saved over the years, and stuffed it into an envelope. Then, I wrote a chillingly cold note:

【Tu Chap Ngon, the wages for these past few months are all right here. I'm bored of this game and no longer wish to continue. Take the money and get lost; never let me lay eyes on you again.】

As I penned the final stroke, the tips of my fingers trembled violently. I bit down hard on my lips, tossed the envelope onto the dining table, and turned my back on that home filled with memories, walking out without a single glance behind me.

—

For an entire week after that, I did not see Tu Chap Ngon again. Days drifted by slowly like a stream of cold water, inch by inch drowning me. I returned to the hospital to continue my treatments, spending my entire days lying in bed, gazing blankly at the stark white ceiling. The patients sharing my room asked if I had been quarreling with my boyfriend, and I forced a smile and shook my head: Quarreling about what? We were never lovers to begin with.

No matter how agonizing my heart felt, I had no right to make him shoulder this pain alongside me.

They asked again: "Where is your family?" I lifted my gaze toward the sky: "They are all dead." Perhaps, within the depths of my heart, they truly were dead.

I had foolishly believed that everything would gradually grow calm—

Yet fate refused to let me go so easily.

That day, following my chemotherapy session, I leaned weakly against the head of the bed, catching my breath. The door to the hospital room was suddenly shoved violently open.

Tu Chap Ngon stood right there, his expression terrifyingly dark and gloomy. In his hand was that very envelope, his knuckles clenched so tightly they had turned completely white, his eyes bloodshot as he glared straight at me, his voice hoarse: "Manh Phon Du, do you really want to cut ties with me like this?"

My heart seized, and out of pure reflex, I averted my gaze from his: "You... how did you know I was here?"

"That is not important." He strode toward the hospital bed, his gaze locked onto my pale face: "Why use such a method to drive me away?"

I bit my lip, lowering my head to feign cold detachment: "We were never anything more than an act to begin with. I grew tired of it and wanted an end to it. The money has already been given, what else could you possibly want?"

Tu Chap Ngon's eyes instantly turned red: "Manh Phon Du, I do not care about your money! Did you really think I stayed by your side just for a few paltry bills?"

My heart ached fiercely, yet I stubbornly kept up my pretense: "If not for that, then what for? What else could I possibly give you?"

"Then could you give me... a little bit of sincerity? Even just the smallest fraction would do..." His voice was rough, his eyes filled with an unmaskable agony: "Did you really think that over these past few days, I hadn't realized that your feelings were genuine?"

I abruptly raised my head, meeting his gaze directly, the emotions within my chest surging overwhelmingly as the rims of my eyes turned crimson: "Yes! I fell for you! And precisely because of that, I pushed you away! Do you understand? I am dying! I cannot drag you down to die with me!"