Chapter 12 — Sentence for Traitors

“What did you dream about?”

"I dreamed of when we first got married. You stood in the small kitchen cooking noodles for me, your hair tied in a mess, the pot of boiling water steaming, you turned around and scolded me, don't stand in the way."

He said that, his voice was hoarse.

“At that time I really thought… this is you for the rest of my life.”

After listening, I was not moved. Just see... very far away. So far away that it's like listening to someone else's story.

“Chu Nghien Chau, it's over.”

"Tri Vi, I know I don't have the right to ask for your forgiveness. But I still want to ask a question... if I didn't that year..."

“No what?”

“Without going the wrong way… would we not have made it today?”

I looked at him and suddenly burst into laughter.

“Do you think we came to today… because of Lam Van Y?”

He was stunned. I said slowly:

"No. We came to this today... because from a very early age, you only allowed me to suffer with you, but did not allow me to stand on equal footing with you. When you needed my back, I was your wife. When you felt like you were flying high, I became a burden. Lam Van Y... was just the person who discovered what already existed in you."

He stood there, unable to say a word. I looked at him and said the last sentence:

“You don't have to lose a wife.”

"You lost someone... who was willing to build with you from nothing."

That day, his eyes turned red. But I still turned around and left. Not trying to appear strong. It's that... I really don't have any reason to stay anymore. One time later, I had dinner with Duong Ninh and mentioned the lawsuit. She asked me:

“Looking back now… what was the most painful thing?”

I thought for a moment.

“It's not about knowing he's sleeping with someone else.”

“So what is it?”

"It's because I realized... when he betrayed me, he didn't have the slightest remorse. On the contrary, he had a very natural disregard. He thought I wouldn't leave, couldn't leave... so he dared to both trick me and calculate me."

Duong Ninh nodded.

“So you win beautifully.”

I smiled slightly and didn't answer. But only those who have experienced it can understand... behind a "beautiful" divorce, there are countless nights of gritting teeth and swallowing all the pain inside. I was not born sober. Only when pushed to the edge... did I understand one thing. In marriage, the scariest thing... is never the third person. It's you, in humbleness after humility... you've lost yourself. And the luckiest thing for me... is that in the end, I found myself again. A year later, I moved out of that house. Not because of losing. It's not because I don't dare to stay. It's because... I don't want to be held back by any old traces anymore. The new house is not big, located along the river, the light is very good, the living room has a floor-to-ceiling glass door. The day I moved in, I bought myself two bouquets of flowers. A bunch of white tulips. A bunch of sunflowers. My friends came to congratulate me on my new home and teased me for finally pampering myself. I stood in the kitchen cutting fruit and smiled and replied:

"It's not that I couldn't bear it before... it's just that I spent it all on the wrong person."

That night everyone stayed for a long time before returning. After cleaning up, I stood alone on the balcony, looking at the lights reflecting on the river surface. The phone suddenly vibrated. A text message from an unknown number. There's only one sentence.

“Tri Vi, I'm sorry.”

I looked at it for two seconds and immediately deleted it. Then block that number too. The night wind blew, bringing with it some moisture. I suddenly remembered the day the divorce trial opened kiss… when I placed the stack of hotel records in front of the judge, my palms were actually sweaty. At that time I thought I was fighting a battle. Only later did I understand... I wasn't fighting a war. I'm just… picking myself up again. Picking up people who have been despised, eroded, betrayed... little by little from the ruins. I once went with Chu Nghien Chau from the basement to a high-rise building. I also once believed that... no matter how difficult it is, marriage is about not letting go. But after all, I understand. What's worth keeping... has never been a rotten relationship. It's yourself. So the day the divorce trial opened, what I won... was never that verdict. But the moment I put those notes down…I made my own judgment…returned myself to myself.