Chapter 4 — Stepping Out From The Rubble

"You...where have you been for the past three years? You didn't say a word and quit your job. I looked for you for a long time, your family moved, your phone number changed. I asked everyone but no one knew where you went."I didn't say anything, just looked at him quietly. Behind, an emergency department nurse quickly ran over: "Doctor Ta, the patient has been taken to the intensive care room." I nodded slightly, leaning over to let him pass. But Ta Chinh still hesitated and refused to leave. The night wind blew the hem of his white blouse. "Wait a minute, Thu Am. Can you leave me your contact information?" "Is your hand... okay?" I couldn't help but frown and coldly interrupted him: "The patient is waiting for you. The golden time for thrombolysis in myocardial infarction is only two hours, don't delay." Ta Chinh did not hesitate any longer, gritted his teeth and entered the operating room. The autumn wind blows into the collar. I squeezed my slightly cold fingertips. Not as painful as I imagined. It turns out that time really can fade everything. When I meet my ex again, my heart can also be calm, without any ripples. 6My new job is at the largest class A level 3 hospital in the city. The department is very spacious, the light outside the window is also very beautiful. Homeroom teacher Trieu is an old acquaintance of my instructor. On the first day we met, he patted my shoulder, smiled and said: "Your instructor makes video calls every day to show off you to me, saying you are the most hardworking student he has ever guided. Welcome back." I smiled, took my name tag and pinned it on my white blouse. The person in the dressing room mirror is much thinner than three years ago, but his eyes are still clear and bright. The rehabilitation process in Germany helped my right hand recover ninety percent. Although holding a surgical knife for a long time will still cause numbness and fatigue, it is enough to perform most surgeries. The third day after accepting the job, there was a loud knock on the office door. Ta Chinh stood outside the door with a dazed look. "Thu Am... turns out you're really here." I looked at the flow of people passing by outside the hallway, frowned and invited him in. He sat down opposite me, with a complicated expression. "Thu Am, that day in the emergency room, you walked too fast. I have a lot of words to say." I quietly raised my head to look at him, couldn't help but smirk: "I don't want to listen." His face turned white for a moment, but he still continued to say to himself: "That beaded keychain was indeed made by Manh Chi Dao. At first we were just..." "You have no way to justify it. Wrong is wrong, so it's not fair." equal to you, I know. It's just that in these three years, there hasn't been a moment where I haven't regretted it." He bowed his head and smiled bitterly, as if he was afraid that I wouldn't listen, so he said everything in one breath. "For the past three years, I've lived very badly. Manh Chi Dao... hasn't felt safe. Every day, my colleague sent a text message and asked who it was. If I said more than two sentences to my female colleague, she wouldn't eat when she got home rice." "She quit her job and stayed home, putting all her focus on me. Even if I took a breath, I felt like I was doing something wrong." "Every day when I come home, I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope, afraid that if I say the wrong thing, she'll cry. Before, you and I stood on the operating table together, and with just a look, we knew what the other wanted. But when I'm with her, every day I have to explain, make sure, and wipe away my tears." "There was a time when I woke up in the middle of the night and had a dream. I thought you were still by my side. I reached over and touched it and realized you were gone." I ignored him and bowed my head to write the medical record. Hearing this, I reluctantly raised my head: "So what? You came here to tell me about your suffering? Do you want me to sympathize with you? But what does this have to do with me?"

Chinh changed. Has someone like you who has always been God's darling ever struggled so much? He gritted his teeth but still didn't leave. "That afternoon on the rooftop, why didn't you keep me?" I put down my pen and sarcastically laughed: "I like the feeling of being needed by others, like being relied on, like having someone who only has me in my eyes. I can't give you those things, so I'm not good enough." "Waiting until Manh Chi Dao really gave me everything she had, I felt suffocated." "Ta Chinh, people can't do that." whatever you want." I stood up and pulled open the office door: "Go, I won't send you away." Three days later, after the night shift, I met Manh Chi Dao in the hospital parking lot. She stood waiting next to my car, her eyes swollen like two walnuts, like a poor abandoned puppy. "Am Am..." She sobbed, talking intermittently. She said she has lived a very tiring life for the past three years. Said she had dreamed of my broken arm countless times. Said that after being with Ta Chinh, she knew what it was like to feel insecure anytime, anywhere. Says she's becoming more and more unlike herself. Said she really missed me. Finally, she raised her head, crying soundlessly.