Chapter 8 — Sweet for You

So… where do your feelings come from? 11I looked at him confused, pursed my lips, not knowing what to say. Tieu Duyet Ninh tentatively grabbed my hand. I trembled slightly, but didn't shy away. He immediately smiled, grabbed my hand tightly, and pulled me into an empty self-study room. He carefully took out a square folded draft sheet from his pocket. The front is full of messy math formulas. The back is covered with writing. He gently flattened it and gave it to me. I thought about all the possibilities, but I didn't expect him to take out a piece of paper. Open it up and see, that's my handwriting in high school. At that time, I was in a regular class and my achievements were just average. But I have close friends and gentle teachers. So even the written word carries youthfulness and vitality. On the paper, there is still a familiar line, what I scribbled down during self-study: "Actually, I really like the words 'normal' and 'simple'. They give me a feeling of security, as if my life will pass quietly, without having to endure too much suffering or too deep sadness." "Being praised as excellent is nice, but only for a moment. I love my normality more, love my humbleness that has real power. No need for anyone to define me. No matter what, I'm still satisfied with myself." "I don't want to stand high up looking down at thousands of lights, just having one light shine for me is enough."... Before I finished reading, my eyes were blurred with tears. Maybe in the eyes of others, these are just a few naive and unrealistic lines. But for me, looking back at those words is like seeing myself a few years ago — a young girl filled with spirit and belief. I quickly folded it up and gave it back to him. Tears kept falling. Entering college, I was surrounded by countless information and pressures. Calls were pouring in: "If we don't start now, it will be late by year 3 or 4." "Aren't you going to take this certification exam? How will you compete in the future?" "What are your core competencies? What skills? Why should the company choose you and not someone else?" I grew to hate my normalcy. Why is it that even after trying so hard, I'm still not as good as anyone else? I was caught up in the whirlwind of fierce competition. Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm worried about. Friends around me, some won prizes, some raised their GPA, some took exams to get certificates. Everyone has clear goals. It's just me, lost like a headless fly. Even at that time, I held a secret feeling for an outstanding student like him. I started paying too much attention to other people's looks. Gradually, because of the gossip and innuendo, I accepted all kinds of labels on myself: Beauty, dignity, family situation... everything was poor. Inferior to others, nothing stands out. How to live in this society? I… can't do it. I absolutely hate that normality of myself. But yes – a few years ago, I noted my love for the words “ordinary” and “simple”. Perhaps, the power of time lies there. Just a few years ago, my perspective was completely reversed. Tieu Duyet Ninh took the paper back from my hand and carefully spread it flat. His fingers lightly glided through the dancing words, as if traveling through the years to reach a moment in the past. "Actually, the time we went back to our old school to introduce college... wasn't the first time we met." The corner of his eyes curled, a smile hidden in his eyes: "Of course, for me, maybe it was the first time." "You certainly know, I also studied in the same high school as you. In 12th grade, I went through a very bad period. My family had a crisis, my spirit was restless, my studies declined rapidly. I fell from the top to the middle. At that time

The most pivotal point in life, everyone is enthusiastically moving forward, only I am... going backwards." He gently stroked that ordinary piece of scratch paper, his voice continued softly: "One day I was confused and walked into the wrong classroom of grade 11. I was in such a hurry that I bumped into you. It seemed like I was running to class, but without hearing you apologize, I quickly ran away. This piece of paper fell, I picked it up." He took a deep breath, his eyes suddenly reddened: "Maybe you can't imagine how important these words are to me. When everyone around me said that I could only go to a mediocre university and then live in confusion for the rest of my life... then there was someone who told me: normal is also very good, simple is also very beautiful, I will forever be satisfied with myself. I watched tears roll down from the corner of his eyes. For a moment, I saw the image of that teenager, rejected, haunted by his own "normality". But for me, those words are just spontaneous emotions, conveniently written. They didn't choose beautiful paper, nor did they make it neat. After writing it, I threw it away somewhere, then forgot about it. I never thought that someone would pick it up and be so in tune with it. Even from there, you can find strength and consider it a treasure. I didn't even think that the person who picked it up... was actually me. He believed in what I wrote, then continued steadfastly. Meanwhile, I gradually forgot my original thoughts and contradicted myself. It's wonderful, because now, from Tieu Duyet Ninh, I have found that source of strength again. The confidence of the past year, after a vicious cycle, finally returned.