Chapter 1 — Take Back Your Life

The day Zhou Jingze and I both received core position offers at the Beijing headquarters, he took me out to eat crayfish to celebrate. Until he went to pay, I borrowed his tablet to answer emails, and saw the post he had just posted in an anonymous job search group. "Because I took care of my ex-lover who was engaged, I accepted a salary cut and chose a marginal position in the city she lives in. How can I break up with my current lover to save my face?" That night, I looked up his entire schedule for the past half year. Finally, my eyes stopped at last year's first snowy night of the season. Only he could see the post in his circle of friends, and he took a screenshot and saved it in the album. I opened it, only to realize that for the past half year I have always given way to others. “Even if I can only be by her side as a friend, I'm willing.” That day was exactly the day his ex-lover, Luong Thu Y, got engaged to her fiance. That same night, Chu Kinh Trach stood in the snow and waited for me for three hours. He stuffed my cold hand into his jacket pocket, his eyes so deep that it seemed like he really loved me to death. “Shen Shi Wei, after graduation, let's go to Beijing together.” “Wherever you are in the future, I will be there.” The next morning, I wore my sleepless night face to the contract signing meeting. Chu Kinh Trach reserved a seat for me. The coffee was placed on the corner of the table, the straw was in place, and my name was labeled on the cup. He raised his head to look at me, smiling very gently. “Didn't sleep well last night?” I sat down. "YES." “Stressed about signing the Beijing contract?” I looked at him. “No stress.” I opened my computer and logged into the employment system. On the podium, teachers are explaining the contract signing process. "This year, the quota for core positions in Beijing is very tight. We hope you will be careful when choosing a city. Once you proactively give up, the quota will move into the reserve process." Chu Kinh Trach's fingers lightly tapped on the table. I asked him: "Have you confirmed Beijing?" His movements stopped. "Not yet." "Why?" “I've been thinking for the past two days that Beijing may not be suitable for us.” I turned off the computer and tilted my head to look at him. “Where does it not fit?” Zhou Jingze pushed the tablet in front of me. Above is a statistical table. Beijing's high rent, long commute, high pressure on the core group, high rejection rate. Nam Thanh has low rent, slow pace of life, stable life, suitable for long-term development. Each item is clearly listed. Exactly the retreat he had prepared in advance. "Thi Vi, we just graduated, we don't even have to start forcing ourselves to death." I laughed. “So you want to go to Nam Thanh?” He immediately said: "I think I can consider it." “Is your Beijing offer still available?” His eyes flashed briefly. "Still." I don't ask anymore. Right in front of him, I clicked on his job system. Chu Kinh Trach's face immediately changed. “Tham Thoi Vi, what are you doing?” The website appears. Beijing headquarters core research and development position: I proactively gave up. Product line at Nam Thanh branch: Waiting for contract signing. I turned the tablet towards him. “Is this still possible?” Chu Kinh Trach's lips moved. “Originally, I was going to find a chance to tell you.” "When?" I stared at him. “Wait until you go to Nam Thanh with me?” He was silent. That moment was clearer than any explanation. I stood up. He immediately pulled my wrist. "Thoi Vi, listen to me. Nam Thanh also has a suitable position for you, I've already asked for you." I bowed my head and looked at his hand. “Let go.” “You are all for our future.” I laugh. “Zhou Jingze, does your future also include Liang Shuyi?” People around started looking over. He lowered his voice, his voice carrying a warning. “This is not the place to talk about this.” “Do you also know how to lose face?” I pushed his hand away. “So when you secretly chose her, why weren't you afraid of losing face?” He stiffened in place. I grabbed my computer and went out. The phone vibrated in the palm of my hand. It's a message sent by Chu Kinh Trach. "Thi Vi, don't get excited. You are so outstanding, you can shine anywhere." I stared at the sentence

That's it, I just feel nauseous. The graduation project roadshow took place that evening. But before going on stage, Chu Kinh Trach called me. “Thi Vi, I might not be able to make it tonight.” I stood backstage, holding a presentation pen in my hand. "Reason." “The instructor is looking for you.” “Which teacher?” He was silent for a few seconds. “Why do you keep forcing people so aggressively today?” I laughed. “Is asking a question also considered being aggressive and forcing people?” His voice softened. "Don't make trouble, do your best on the roadshow. You're so good, you can do it alone." I hung up the phone directly. Twenty minutes later, the roadshow ended. The person in charge of the Beijing headquarters, Jiang Yanli, asked me on the spot: "Shen Shiwei, the core team is ready to finalize you first. Before nine o'clock tomorrow morning, let me confirm the final city." I nodded. "Okay." The moment the applause rang out, my phone lit up. Mutual friend Hua Hang sent a photo. “Sister-in-law, didn't Mr. Chu accompany you on the roadshow?” In the photo, Chu Kinh Trach is sitting in a private restaurant, Luong Thu Y is sitting opposite him. She wore an engagement ring on her hand, and her red eyes looked at Chu Kinh Trach. Accompanying status line: "Fortunately, I have you every year." I looked at it for three seconds, then saved the image. Luong Thu Y is also from our academy. She took a course above us. Last year, due to health reasons, she took a break and graduated late. This year she joined recruitment again. She directed her to apply like me, only her final interview performance was placed on the reserve list. At that time I still didn't know, the word "reserve" would be like a thorn, piercing my whole life. Giang Nghien Le walked in front of me. I raised my head and he gave me a business card. “Classmate Tham, before final confirmation, if there is any problem, please contact me.” "Thank." As soon as I received the business card, Zhou Jingze's phone rang. I asked: “Where are you?” The other end of the line was quiet. Then, Luong Thu Y's voice came. "Kinh Trach, the wish is over, do you want to cut the cake together?" Chu Kinh Trach immediately covered the receiver. It's late, I heard it. You know I heard it too. "Thi Vi, her condition is not good today, I just went with her to celebrate her birthday." “Where is her fiance?” “They had an argument.” “So you're going to be her boyfriend?” “Don't speak so harshly.” I leaned against the wall backstage, feeling very tired. “Zhou Jingze, today I'm doing a roadshow.” “I know.” “You promised to come.” “Haven't you done well?” As those words fell, my eye sockets immediately heated up. It turns out my excellence was the reason for his absence. I asked softly: "If the person on stage today was Luong Thu Y, would you also think she could do it alone?" Chu Kinh Trach didn't say anything, the answer was clear. I hung up. Lam Diem rushed to hug me. “Thi Vi, don't cry.” I shook my head. “I'm not crying.” I just suddenly understood. There are people who don't know how to love. He just gives all his bias to others. The next day, I had just finished writing the Beijing confirmation email when Chu Jingze's phone called again. “Thu Y is at the hospital, I'll come over.” I laughed. “Is her fiance dead?” “Tham Thoi Vi!” The first time Zhou Jingze yelled at me on the phone. "What are you yelling at? Are you heartbroken?" He suppressed his anger. "She had an emotional breakdown last night, and now she refuses to check. She feels like she affects us. Go and tell her clearly." “What do I say?” “Tell me you don't pay attention.” I was stunned for two seconds, then burst out laughing. “Zhou Jingze, you told me to go tell your ex that I don't care that you left Beijing for her, don't care that you went with her to celebrate her birthday, don't care that you left me behind the scenes of the roadshow?” “She is a patient.” “Am I the one who died?” The other end of the line was completely silent. In the end, I still went to the hospital, not because of them. It's to make yourself completely lose your mind. At the door of the hospital room, Chu Kinh Trach saw me and his first sentence was: "Come inside later, don't stimulate her." I asked: “I can stand and breathe

Are you planning on stimulating her?” He frowned. “Thi Vi, don't be sarcastic.” I pushed the door in. Luong Thu Y was lying on the hospital bed, her hospital gown loose, the engagement ring on her hand so bright it was blinding. As soon as she saw me, her eyes immediately turned red. “Miss Tham, sorry, did I bother Kinh Trach again?” I went to the bed. “If you know it's a bother, bother less.” Luong Thu Y's face turned pale. Chu Kinh Trach immediately blocked her. “Tham Thoi Vi.” I looked at him. “What? Am I wrong?” Luong Thu Y hugged her chest, her voice trembling. “I didn't mean to, I just didn't have anyone to look for…” “You have a fiance.” “He doesn't understand me.” “So you're looking for my boyfriend?” Tears fell from her eyes. Chu Kinh Trach's face darkened and was very unsightly. “That's enough, now she can't stand stimulation.” I nodded. “So I can?” He was stunned. At this moment the nurse came in. “Is the contact person who accompanied Luong Thu Y's inspection here? Subsequent test results need to be signed for confirmation. Luong Thu Y immediately looked towards Chu Kinh Trach. “Kinh Trach…” I also looked at him. At that moment, I even hoped he might hesitate for half a second. But he accepted the pen. It only takes half a second. I spoke up: "What did you sign?" Chu Kinh Trach's movements stopped. “The contact person will come along and check.” “What are you to her?” He frowned. “Now is not the time to discuss this.” “So when is it?” I pointed to the ring on Luong Thu Y's hand. “She's engaged, she has a fiance, she has parents, she has family. Is it your turn to sign?” Luong Thu Y cried loudly. “Don't sign anymore, I won't check anymore, I'll die.” Chu Kinh Trach panicked and bent down to comfort her. “Don't talk nonsense.” I looked at his back. Suddenly I feel like a joke. He and I have been together for three years. He had never panicked like that when I was sick. Last year, I had acute gastroenteritis and was in so much pain that I couldn't stand up. The guy in the lab answered me: "You call a car to go to the hospital first. I can't go there." Now Luong Thu Y only shed two tears, he doesn't even need his identity anymore. I turned around and left. Chu Kinh Trach kicked him out. “Tham Thoi Vi, can you understand the situation a little bit?” I stopped walking. “Understand?” “Thu Y is very weak now.” “So I should yield?” “I didn't mean that.” “That's what I meant.” “He felt I was strong, so I had to give in. You feel like I won't die, so I have to hold on." “You feel that I love you, so no matter how much you hurt me, I have to digest it myself.” Chu Kinh Trach's face changed slightly. “Thi Vi…” “Don't call me.” I raised my hand, took off the ring he gave me, and stuffed it into his palm. “From now on, I don't understand anything anymore.” He looked at that ring, his eyes finally panicking.