Chapter 7 — Ten Years in the Backyard

I followed him into the study room. On Thua Diep opened a locked wooden box. He took out a stack of papers and pushed it in front of me.

“Watch it.”

I walked over and took the top sheet. It's a painting. A young girl about fourteen or fifteen years old, wearing a light yellow velvet dress, sat under a cinnamon tree, strumming the instrument. Delicate eyebrows, radiant smile, in the eyes there is light, a light that has not experienced life, does not know sadness. It's me, Tham Thanh Tu from ten years ago. My hands began to tremble, turning each page down. There are pictures of me in the yard catching butterflies, there are pictures of me sitting by the window reading a book, there are pictures of me releasing lanterns on the riverbank... Each picture is me, but not entirely me. The girl in the painting is so lively, so happy.

“Where did you get these pictures… from?”

"For the past ten years, I've asked people to draw one. Every month. Sometimes she smiled, sometimes she frowned, sometimes she sat by the window in a daze, sitting for half a day. I asked them to redraw it."

“Why?”

"Because I'm afraid of forgetting. Afraid of forgetting her original appearance. Afraid of forgetting... why do I have to do that."

"Why do we have to do that? On Thua Diep, you know that I live an unhappy life, know that my child is suffering, why do you still treat us like that?"

He didn't answer, just took out another stack of papers from the box. The letters were dense, some were neatly written, some were scribbled, some still had blood stains on them. There were a few pictures in there that were from that year after the Tham family encountered trouble, I secretly asked someone to send them back to Giang Nam.

“These letters… why are they at your place?”

"Because I stopped them. Every single one. The letters she wrote to Giang Nam, to the advisors who could help her turn the case, and even the letters sent to her brother, were all blocked by me."

“Why?”

"Because the people who received that letter are either dead or have been bribed. Thanh Tu, do you think the Tham family's case is simply embezzlement?"

He took the bottom letter and gave it to me:

“Watch this.”

「The evidence for the Tham family's Thong Enemy case has been prepared and can be presented to the saint in three days. Jiangnan salt tax deficit is three hundred thousand taels, someone needs to take responsibility. Tham Minh Duong is the most suitable.」

"Interne with enemies? My father cannot be with enemies!"

"Of course not. But that's not important. The important thing is that ten years ago, Jiangnan's salt tax deficit was three hundred thousand taels, and someone had to take care of it. Her father was the number one wealthy merchant in Jiangnan, and the president of the salt merchants' association, the most suitable target. So there were people who fabricated evidence to join the enemy, there were people who bribed witnesses, and there were people up and down who took care of it. In just three days, the Tham family went from being a wealthy merchant family to the enemy country, to becoming a criminal enemy. treason.”

My legs became weak and I fell down on the chair.

"So... what about my elder brother? That year he escaped and said he would come back..."

On Thua Diep was silent for a long time.

“He is dead.”

“After the incident happened, he secretly returned to the capital to see her, but was discovered by a hidden target ambushing outside.” On Thua Diep turned away, not looking at me, "When I got there, he was... I couldn't save him."

Ten years ago. I have been waiting, waiting for my brother to return, waiting for the Tham family to be vindicated. But now we know that people have been waiting and have been dead for a long time. Died on the way back to meet me. Die at the time we think is safest.

“Why... why don't you tell me know? Why did you hide it from me for ten years?!”

“Because if I tell her, she will take revenge regardless of everything.” On Thua Diep grabbed my hand, his hand was very cold, even colder than my hand, "Because I tell you, you will step out of the palace and will be exposed in front of those who want to destroy the grass completely. Thanh Tu, I'm not detaining you, I'm… protecting you.”

“Protect me? Watching me wither day by day, is that your protection?"

“I know I didn't do it well enough.” His forehead pressed against my hand, "I know I made you feel frustrated. But we have no other choice. In this capital, there are too many people who want to use the Tham family's case to overthrow me. I can only hide her, hide her as deeply as possible. I can only treat everyone coldly, including you. Because only then will they believe that I have no feelings for her, she has no value to me.

“Thanh Tu, for the past ten years, I have been afraid every day. Afraid she'll find out the truth, afraid she'll hate me, afraid she'll leave me."

I looked into his eyes, looked at the man I hated for ten years, resented him for ten years, and suddenly realized that I never seemed to really understand him.

“So, you blocked my mail, didn't let me contact the outside world, and took Canh Nhi away, all to protect us?”

“Yes.”

“So what about To Nguyet Nhu? You clearly knew what she was doing, so why didn't you stop her?

“Because she is the daughter of the To family. I need the support of the Su family in the court. I can only... close one eye and open one eye. But I didn't expect that she would dare to attack Canh Nhi."

“Wen Thua Diep.”

“Yes.”

“It's late. You know, if you had told me these words ten years ago, I would have believed them. If you had said these words to me when Canh Nhi was first injured, perhaps I would still have been touched. But now…”

“Now, I only feel sadness.”

I turned around and walked towards the door.

“Thanh Tu!” He called me behind my back.

I won't turn back.

"Wen Thua Diep, we can't go back anymore."

7

I died on the night of the palace feast. Everything happened without warning. That night, the royal palace was brightly lit. I wore a pink garnet outfit and a heavy headband, sitting next to Wen Thua Diep, playing the role of a dignified but aloof Marquis. The Queen Mother was very kind, held my hand and talked a lot, praising me for being virtuous and kind, with a noble demeanor. On Thua Diep drank a lot of alcohol for me. He sat there, interacting carefully with all parties, talking and laughing leisurely. Until now Tuat three minutes. I raised my cup of wine and stood up to pay my respects to the Queen Mother. As soon as the cup of wine reached his lips, his wrist suddenly trembled.

“Madam?” On Thua Diep immediately stood up to help me.

I put my hand on my chest, frowning tightly: "I..." Before I could finish speaking, I spat out a mouthful of blood. On Thua Diep's face immediately changed, he hugged me tightly:

“Medical doctor! Truyen Thai physician!”

“Thanh Tu... Tham Thanh Tu! She must endure!”

His voice trembled, a kind of panic I had never heard before. When I woke up, I was lying on the bed in the palace. I tried to move my fingers, they were stiff and numb.

"There's... no longer a pulse..." was Doctor Lam Thai's voice.

“Impossible! She cannot die! More needles, more medicine! Use anything!”

“Master, I apologize. The lady's heart is dry, the lamp oil has run out, no medicine can save her. This old man... did his best.”

“Go away.”