Chapter 13 — The Crown Prince slapped me once because of the concubine, and I turned my hand back in front of the Queen

When I was fifteen years old, on my birthday, Tham Hanh secretly escaped from the palace, used the silver he had saved for half a year to buy a piece of wood on the side of the road, and then personally carved this brooch for me. At that time, he said that until the day she got pregnant, he would use this hairpin to personally tie my hair. Later he became Crown Prince. I became the Crown Princess. Among us. There are too many things separating us. This brooch, he never gave it to me. He always keeps it with him.

“Has he... woken up?” I tightened the brooch in my hand, my voice trembling slightly.

Tham Du shook his head.

“He is always crazy and crazy.”

"It's just that sometimes there will be times when I'll be quiet and hold this brooch and sit all day."

“I found it under his pillow.”

“I think, the person he really wants to give this brooch to... must be you.”

I looked at the wooden brooch in my hand. Tears suddenly fell. I don't know either. What exactly were those tears for? It's because the teenage years have been lost and can never come back. Or is it because the man has been completely swallowed by power, and even the last bit of sincerity has become so pitiful. Tham Du did not bother me. Just stood quietly by the side. Wait until I've cried enough. He just gave me a handkerchief.

“Everything is over.”

“That's right, it's all over.” I dried my tears and carefully put the wooden brooch away.

“Co Van Chu, I…” He looked at me, as if he wanted to stop talking.

I raised my head. Catch his eyes. In those eyes. There are so many things that we are familiar with. There are expectations. There is gentleness. There is also a bit of an emperor's desire to possess. In that moment. I suddenly understood. What is the purpose of his coming here today? I smiled slightly. Face him. Slowly kneel down.

"Goddess Co Van Chu, I pray that in this life I will always be your companion with the green light of Buddha's door, for your majesty, for Dai Chu, and pray for eternal blessings."

I used the most decisive way to reject his sincerity. If he were just Tham Du, maybe things would be different. But he is the Emperor, and the Emperor is the only person I cannot love again. I will never step foot on that palace wall again. I will not let my fate once again be tied to the joys, sorrows, joys and anger of a man. I won't be tied tightly to that cold long chair. Tham Du's body stiffened. He looked at me. Looked for a long time. As long as I thought. He will be like Tham Hanh, angry with me, forcing me. He didn't do that. He just smiled softly and bitterly, then offered his hand to help me stand up.

“She's always been so smart.”

There was a loss in his voice that I couldn't fully understand.

“That's good.”

He reached out his hand and gently smoothed back my sideburns that were tangled by the wind. That movement was very light, so light that it was as if he was afraid that if he touched a little harder, all the distance that had just been kept between the two of them would immediately disappear.

“You just stay here.”

“Wait until I make this country the look you desire.”

Having finished speaking, he turned and left. Each step gradually disappeared into the white snow. I stood under the apricot tree, silently watching, until before my eyes only a vast white space remained. In the palm of his hand, a wooden brooch still carries some warmth. I gently closed my hand. Then put the brooch in your sleeve. There are some things that just need to end. No need for resentment. No need to regret either. I once lost myself because of someone. Luckily, we were able to find it in the end. From now on, I am no longer the Crown Princess. She is no longer a woman who lives for anyone's eyes. I'm just Co Van Chu. Live the life you choose. Snow still falls quietly. I reached out my hand to pick up a snowflake. The cold seeped into my fingertips. But in my heart, for the first time in many years, I feel strangely peaceful. (FULL TEXT)