Chapter 1 — The Fox Spirit of Qingshan

I am a fox spirit from the green mountains, having cultivated for a thousand years before finally taking human form. My father told me that to become an immortal, one must first repay a kindness. After descending the mountain, I found the benefactor of my past—Xu Zheng. I entered his dream and asked what he desired most in this world, and he replied that he wanted a person. I searched through every record of fate, only to discover that in this lifetime, Xu Zheng had not a single living relative. For my first attempt, I transformed into a mortal woman and became his wife. After our marriage, we respected each other like honored guests, and our household soon flourished with children and grandchildren. Yet, on the day of his fiftieth birthday, Xu Zheng secretly drank poison and took his own life. As he lay dying, I asked him why.

What I wanted back then was never a wife; now that you have secured a firm foundation and family, I can die without regret.

Having failed to truly repay the kindness, I returned empty-handed. For my second attempt, I transformed into a man and swore an oath of brotherhood with Xu Zheng.

From now on, I am your own flesh and blood elder brother, Xu Zheng declared with absolute certainty.

I truly thought this time I would successfully consummate my Dao fruit. Little did I expect that when he turned forty, Xu Zheng would leave behind a final suicide note: This foolish person has always held someone in his heart whom he could never hope to attain, leaving my days and nights in ceaseless turmoil. With that, he plunged off a steep cliff to his death. I wept bitterly as I made my weary return to the green mountains.

Father, that Xu Zheng is simply not human! His seven emotions and six desires are even more detached than those of a fox spirit. Just yesterday he spoke to me of ascending to greater heights, and who would have thought he was merely seeking out a cliff to throw himself from?

My father scolded me for being foolish and declared that I needed further cultivation. When I descended the mountain for the third time, looking at the peaceful sleeping face of Xu Zheng, my mind remained entirely at a loss. What kind of person could possibly manage to keep him alive until his hair turned white?

Early in the morning, my father frowned as he watched me still lingering lazily in the stone cavern. He asked cautiously, Yi Er, are not going to repay your debt of gratitude anymore? Repay the debt? I was risking my very life just to prevent a man bent on self-destruction from succeeding. According to mortals, a life-saving grace should be repaid with one's own body. Once upon a time, I believed this wholeheartedly. But now I understand it is nothing of the sort. Wanting to keep Xu Zheng alive until old age... is simply too difficult. Unable to contain my grievances, I poured out my heart to my father about my tragic and sorrowful journey of repaying kindness. In my first lifetime, I deliberately put on a pitiful and vulnerable appearance. Xu Zheng, being a kind-hearted soul, took me in without a second thought. It was only natural that I stayed by his side, attending to his daily needs and meals so that he could wholeheartedly pursue whatever resided in his heart. All I wanted was to live out those peaceful days quietly; as long as he reached the natural end of his years, I would consider my mission accomplished. Therefore, no matter what Xu Zheng wished to do, I supported him; whenever he encountered difficulties, I helped him fulfill his aspirations. Even when he abandoned halfway what he was doing to pursue some new novelty, I never hesitated to back him, hoping only that he would live a long and prosperous life. Everyone in the capital praised me for bringing good fortune to my husband, noting how the Xu family had grown increasingly prosperous ever since I crossed their threshold. Later on, when Xu Zheng mentioned wanting to take a concubine, I went out of my way to arrange everything meticulously, believing he finally wanted to marry the person truly held in his heart. Who would have guessed that midway through the preparations, he suddenly announced he no longer wished to marry. When I asked for the reason, adding that if the young lady desired the position of primary wife I could readily agree, Xu Zheng remained silent, saying only that he had lost the desire. From that day forward, I remained the only one by his side. The ladies of the capital envied the harmonious life Xu Zheng and I shared until old age, and many aristocratic noble daughters came seeking my secret formula for managing a husband. Whenever I went out, I would simply attribute it to his own self-restraint. It was not until his fiftieth birthday, when everyone in the capital rushed to the Xu residence to catch a glimpse of our good fortune, that I busied myself preparing a magnificent banquet for him. While I was warmly greeting guests in the front courtyard, a young page boy came running in panic to announce that Xu Zheng had swallowed poison in the back courtyard. By the time I rushed to his side, it was already too late. With his dying breath, I asked him why.

Back then, seeing how lonely and pitiful you were, my heart softened and I kept you with me. What I wanted was never a wife; now that the children are grown and you have a reliable place to lean on, I can die with no lingering attachments.

I demanded to know who the person in his heart was, promising to bring them to him.

Actually, what I wanted... was simply...

Before he could finish his sentence, he breathed his last—he died far too quickly. His first death was peaceful and fulfilled, but it left me in profound agony. Although my lifespan far exceeds that of a mortal, are the decades of a fox spirit not time as well? For him to die so swiftly, did he not feel any shame toward all the painstaking effort I had poured into him over the years? To ensure his peace and smooth happiness, I had even risked violating the heavenly mandate on several occasions, secretly using fox magic. With tears streaming down my face, I cried out to my father, Father, I have expended decades of my spiritual cultivation for nothing! My father had watched me grow up; he knew how bitterly I had toiled in my cultivation. While other young fox spirits argued over delicious wild fruits, I sat in deep meditation. While others were distracted by romantic entanglements or pursued by suitors, I remained steadfast in meditation. Some said that becoming an immortal was a delusional dream and that achieving mere longevity was enough, yet I never ceased my spiritual journey. Even when the children and grandchildren of other foxes were already born into the world, I was still meditating. I endured a thousand years of hardship and a thousand years of solitude, none of which compared to the devastating shock of Xu Zheng's death. Not to mention that to keep him company, I had wasted decades of cultivation time.

Ah Yi, do you intend to give up on becoming an immortal then? my father asked with a suspicious gaze.

Immortality is right before my eyes, within touching distance.

I shook my head resolutely. Naturally, I could not give it up. Therefore, I traveled down to the netherworld and begged the authorities to grant me a single favor—to let me enter the wheel of reincarnation and continue repaying my debt. Otherwise, since Xu Zheng was already dead, waiting for him to reincarnate and cross over into a new life would undoubtedly take another several hundred years. In this second lifetime, I had to see clearly: who on earth was the person he so deeply yearned for?