Chapter 1 — The Future Without Thanh Mai

On the day the university entrance exam results were announced, my childhood friend and I sat nervously waiting in front of two computers. The clock hands had just reached the hour mark and the scores were announced. His score was hidden, and I got 683 points, ranked 325th in the province. I hugged him and excitedly shouted: "I can enter the Central Academy of Fine Arts! I was admitted directly to Tsinghua University, we don't have to be apart for four years in college." Quy Ze's phone lit up for a moment, and the smile that appeared on his lips immediately stiffened. When he raised his head again, he absent-mindedly asked me: "An An, do you have to register for the Central Academy of Fine Arts? I heard that this year's benchmark score is very high, you may fail your application." I shook my head, saying no matter what, I had to try once, I didn't want to be away from him. Until one day before the deadline to confirm my application, I specially returned from abroad to celebrate my childhood friend's birthday. On the way, I stopped at a cake shop to buy a birthday cake, the girl next to me was talking to her friend about her boyfriend. "He listens to me very well. I just need to be a little coy, he has already changed the wish of that childhood friend." "Who said that the Oil Painting Department of the Central Academy of Fine Arts only recruits a few people? She even took the exam one point more than me, taking away my spot." "His childhood friend depends on her family for something." sue, clinging to my boyfriend every day. She deserves to be taught a lesson." Her friend said admiringly: "Qui Trach is really good to you. No wonder you personally lined up to buy him a birthday cake." I was immediately stunned. Because my boyfriend's name is also Quy Trach. And the major I registered for was also the Oil Painting Department of the Central Academy of Fine Arts.1 Not understanding what the devil was doing, I took out my phone and sent a text message to Quy Trach. 【A Trach, have you registered your wish to help me?】 He did not answer. The girl next to her took her friend's arm and walked to the payment counter. She took out her phone and shook it: "Look, A Trach said she texted him again, I'm sorry." While laughing with her friend, she turned around and told the staff: "No mango filling, my boyfriend is allergic to mango." I quietly tightened my grip on the phone, ringing sounds rang out in my ears. My Quy Trach is also allergic to mango. The girl's friend laughed teasingly: "Phan Nhat Oanh, so thoughtful, isn't it?" She pouted: "Of course. Today he wanted to take me to meet friends, and begged me several times, telling me to save his face in front of everyone." "To be honest, I didn't want to make it public in front of many people, but he kept saying that this was called serious love, insisting that I give him a status." I breathed a sigh of relief. Anyway, Quy Trach is not the type of person who likes to show off his emotions in front of everyone. Before, every time I asked when we would come out to our friends, he always said we were still young and was afraid it would have a bad effect on me. He also said that his friends like to joke too much, and he can't bear to let outsiders make fun of us. Same name and last name, probably just a coincidence. After paying, I followed the two of them out. Coming to the side of the road, Phan Nhat Oanh's friend said goodbye and left first. She hummed and sang while continuing to walk forward. At every turn, the direction we took was identical. When I heard the song she was humming clearly, my steps suddenly slowed down. It's a folk song that few people know, and it's also the song that Quy Trach and I like the most. We once promised each other that we would treat it as an implicit secret between the two of us, never mind

now tell anyone. Phan Nhat Oanh took out her phone and called: "A Trach, are you here yet?" Not knowing what the other person said, she was both coy and angry: "I'm wearing a coat, it's not cold at all. If you don't believe me, come check." I lowered my head to look at the phone. Still no response. After a heavy rain, the temperature suddenly dropped. The cold wind brushed my arms, making me shiver. My fingertips stopped on the screen, I pressed the call button, a cold mechanical female voice announced that I was temporarily unable to connect. I realized, he turned on do not disturb mode. He said that because he was a student directly admitted to Tsinghua University, the lecturer told him to come to school early and learn from the brothers and sisters in the lab. This isn't the first time I haven't been able to contact him. "A Trach!" Phan Nhat Oanh suddenly ran a few steps forward and jumped into a guy's arms. I slightly raised my head to look over. With just one glance, I was nailed to the spot. The boy was holding an umbrella, helplessly hugging Phan Nhat Oanh's neck, his other hand rubbing her head. "You're really, the road is slippery and you're still running around. Let's go, I'll introduce you to the upperclassmen of the Central Academy of Fine Arts." The front of my eyes was covered with a layer of mist, but I could still clearly see the corner of his thin lips curling up slightly. I started to understand this world since I met him. Not long after I was born, my mother passed away from a serious illness. My father is busy with work, every time he goes on a business trip he sends me to his assistant's house, which is also the Quy family's house. In the video recording the ceremony of choosing objects when I turned one year old, I held Quy Trach's hand tightly, laughing so much that my gums were exposed. The adult standing next to him smiled and said: "These two children are really destined for each other." When we were three years old, we held hands and walked into kindergarten. He stuck the red flower the teacher gave me on my forehead: "Here's mine, don't cry anymore." When he was sixteen years old, when his first love was just budding, he was upset and threw away the love letters other boys wrote to me. "Falling in love early will affect your studies, they all have bad intentions." On my eighteenth birthday, he stuffed a commitment in my hand. Under the moonlight, his ears quietly turned red. "I'll say it first, when the university exams are over, we'll officially be together." In that commitment, it was written that our future would be as close as the past. Thanh Mai was eighteen years old and loved each other for life. But only a month has passed. Right in this moment. The future he promised was no longer there.2It wasn't until the two of them hugged each other and turned to leave that I gradually woke up from my state of silence. The phone lights up. It's Quy Trach. 【I'm asking my senior to guide me on my thesis, I'll talk about it later.】 My wet shoes were like two heavy rocks, pulling me down endlessly. It took a long time for me to find the feeling again. I trembled and called him again. Still a busy signal. Quy Trach sent a new message. 【I said I'm busy, don't call me.】 I bit my lip and typed each word. 【Are you busy having an affair?】 I was just about to send it when a terrified scream rang out from behind. "Get out of the way!" Before I could react, the tram lost control and slipped, dragging me down with it. The world was spinning, I leaned over and fell onto the wet road surface. The sweet cake also flew out of his hand, falling to the ground and crushing it. It seemed like something was broken in this moment. The phone screen was completely black, and the question I was about to send was missing. I returned to the apartment completely disheveled. Before I could change my clothes, the apartment door was pushed open

outside in. The person who walked in was Quy Trach. Our eyes met, he was stunned, but quickly regained composure. "You came back from abroad without giving me an hour's notice? I even went to the airport to pick you up." I calmly replied: "I wanted to surprise you." He smiled and walked over, gently patting my head. "Flying is tiring, isn't it? It's just a birthday and it makes you have a hard time adjusting to the time zone." "It's rare that you get to spend the summer with your family, I can't bear to call you home. water.” The cake broke on the tea table, he couldn't see it. My whole body was soaked, he couldn't see it either. Quy Trach was about to say something when the phone rang. When he bowed his head to reply to the message, between his eyebrows and eyes was a gentle, patient look that I was very familiar with. After that, he looked apologetic: "Unfortunately, I made a date with some friends tonight. We agreed not to bring our girlfriends, so I have to let you suffer." Without waiting for me to speak, he took a bunch of keys and hung them on a rabbit-shaped hook on the shelf next to the door. I immediately understood. He returned to pick up a personal item the girl had forgotten. This apartment is the place we promised to rent together after college. From here to Tsinghua University and the Central Academy of Fine Arts are both less than half an hour. But now, the blue flower porcelain vase we found together at the second-hand market has disappeared. Even the photo of the two of them together on the photo wall at the entrance has no trace left. The cold and dampness followed the clothes soaked by the rain and penetrated to the heart. I suddenly asked: "Tomorrow is the deadline to confirm your application, have you registered for me yet?" "Of course." Quy Trach bowed his head to reply to the message and casually said: "I tried so hard to take the entrance exam to the Central Academy of Fine Arts, rest assured, I will definitely pass." Turns out he also knew. My mother was a student at the Central Academy of Fine Arts. Since the first day I picked up a paintbrush at the age of five, that school has been my goal. During many years of studying drawing, I was often the first person to enter the studio and also the last person to leave. One time I lost track of time and was locked in the art building. It was he who ran to the school in the middle of the night, knocked on the door of the security room, and then brought someone to help me. After that, he specially gave the security room a few barrels of drinking water and borrowed a spare key for me. He once said, I can fly as high and far as I want, he will always stand behind me and support me. But now, does he remember? I unconsciously stroked the thin layer of callus next to my right middle finger, stubbornly continuing to ask: "Do you have to go today?" Quy Trach frowned. "I can't let my friends climb trees. Is there something wrong with you?" Something's up. I want him to tell me what happened between him and that girl. I want to ask him why he changed my wishes. I wanted to cry and say that the cake I stood in line to buy fell apart, and that my knees hurt so much. I still want to ask him if he can stay or not... I swallowed the bitter taste in my throat and was about to open my mouth. Quy Trach left behind a sentence: "Wait until I get home and then tell you." He couldn't wait any longer, so he immediately closed the door and left. I was alone, immersed in the cold and dampness. 3The room was completely quiet. I blinked my dry eyes and opened social networks to search. In the topic "Preparing for the Central Academy of Fine Arts exam", I quickly found the other girl. Her profile photo was taken in front of Quy Trach's desk. The doodles on the bookshelf behind me were because I spent more than half a day drawing each line by hand. I continued scrolling down. The first post related to Quy Trach appeared last summer.