Chapter 6 — The Lamp No Longer Shines Because of You

"Now do you remember that this is your house? The day I moved in, I personally made your bed. My mother invited me to come to her old house for dinner, and I automatically agreed."
"I wore the pair of pajamas, I lent them to the restaurant, and your mother was also taken care of by me. Chu Tu, no one forced me."
Chu Tu's face gradually became gray. Hua Nhuoc Duong is right. No one forced him. Every step on that path was given by him himself. He took the key from her hand.
“Go away.”
Hua's mother sat in front of the door, crying and scolding him, saying he had no conscience. Neighbors opened their doors to watch the excitement. Some people whispered:
"Isn't this the woman who has lived here for a long time? I thought she was Mrs. Chu."
Chu Tu closed the door. Finally, he was alone in the house. He restored electricity and water, changed the bed sheets, and threw the clothes Hua Nhuoc Duong left behind in the trash. But the master bedroom remained empty. There was no food in the refrigerator that I had portioned out, Huyen Quan no longer had the shoes I changed after returning home, and on the balcony there were no more drops of water that I left every time I watered the flowers. He found half an old photo. In the photo, he stands in front of Hoa Phong restaurant, his hands covered in mud, smiling like a completely different person. There is only half a sentence left on the back.
“We will have…”
The remaining half of the sentence was taken away by me. Winter in the South is not too cold. I rented a small house with a balcony facing south. In the afternoon, sunlight spreads across the floor. The day my mother arrived, she brought my cat. As soon as she entered the door, she looked at the shoe cabinet and then looked at the living room.
"Can I stay here, Mom? Don't let me cause any more trouble for you."
I placed the key in her palm.
"This is our house. Mom can stay as long as she wants."
Mom caressed the key, her eyes turned red, but she just bowed her head to change her shoes. I bought her a bed with handrails and installed an anti-slip mat in the bathroom. She kept saying I was wasting money, but she wiped the handrail over and over again. Life begins with sound. Sometimes I also remember Chu Tu. Don't want to go back. I just remember when I was twenty-six years old, he rode his bicycle and took me through the cornfield road after the rain. The back of his shirt was wet, but he still turned his head and smiled.
“Jian Ninh, hug me tight.”
At that time, I thought that if I just kept him tight, I could keep him for the rest of my life. Only later did I understand that people change with each passing day. That day, when I got off work, the security guard called the front desk.
“Director Gian, there is a Mr. Chu downstairs who wants to see you.”
I stood by the office window and saw Chu Tu standing outside the hall. He had lost a lot of weight, his coat was wrinkled, and he was carrying several boxes of tonics in his hands. I told the security staff to invite him to the reception area. As soon as he saw me, he immediately stood up.
“Ninning.”
After two months, that way of addressing rang in my ears again, yet it became extremely strange. I didn't sit down, I just calmly looked at him.
“If you have something to say, say it.”
He pushed the tonic boxes forward, his voice hoarse.
"This is a gift for my mother. I want to apologize to her."
"I went to see that hotel and chased Nhuoc Duong and her mother away. Before, I couldn't distinguish between right and wrong."
“From now on, the rules in the house will be up to you decision. Mom can stay as long as she wants. I will go and apologize to her, kneeling down is fine."
“As long as… you agree to come back with me.”
I looked down at the boxes of nutritional supplements but didn't accept them.
“My mother doesn't need it.”
Chu Tu's knuckles clenched, his eyes turning red.
“Don't be like that.”
“Jian Ninh, you were too miserable before. I always thought that you would never leave, that if you love me, you must understand all my difficulties."
“Nhuoc Duong used to help my family when I was young, my mother also liked her. I'm stuck in the middle…”
“You're not stuck in the middle.”
I couldn't help but interrupt him.
“You're always on her side.”
His expression stiffened. His lips moved but he couldn't say a word. Silence is more of an answer than any excuse.
“I used to love you, that's true. Maybe he also loved me, that's probably also true."
“That's why I give you so many chances.”
He immediately raised his head, as if he had just grasped a glimmer of hope.
“The first time my mother didn't dare come to the house, he didn't recognize her. The second time, I said I wanted to pick her up to stay for a few days, and he said the hotel was more convenient.”
“The third time, she broke her leg, I stopped her outside the door.”
“Chu Tu, the opportunity did not suddenly disappear. It was consumed by you one by one.”
Outside the reception area, staff walked back and forth. The glass separates the sound of footsteps from outside, and also separates the irreversible years between me and him. The light in his eyes gradually faded.
“You can change.”
“But I no longer need you to change.”
Chu Tu raised his hand to touch me, but I took a step back. His hand stiffened in midair, his eyes immediately turned red.
“Don't look at me like that. Ninh Ninh, you weren't that cold before."