Chapter 3 — The Queen Mother Returns to the Dynasty

Just like the rest of our lives. Fortunately, Chu Hanh Chi died, ending suffering and returning to happiness. When we arrived outside the temple gate, the abbot led a row of nuns who knelt on the ground and waited for me. "Welcome back to the Queen Mother." The abbot's voice was obsequious and flattering, but he did not dare raise his head to look at me. I raised my eyebrows, bowed my head and asked Chu Vinh An next to me: "Your Majesty, now that you are the emperor, do you want them to recite the sutras to pray for you?" Chu Vinh An obediently nodded and said in cooperation: "Yes. Then order them to recite the sutras a thousand times a day, copy the sutras a hundred times, and pray for blessings for me and my mother. If they cannot do it, it means disregarding the grace of God and be beheaded." That young, childish voice made the listener cold. back. There was silence all around, except for the heavy breathing of the nuns. I contentedly squeezed your little hand gently. Chu Hanh Chi was obviously also shocked by Chu Vinh An's words. After a while, he suddenly woke up and shouted angrily: "How can you be so cruel at such a young age! Co Thu Nguyet, did you teach me to be like this?" I didn't answer, he became even angrier. "If I knew that, I wouldn't have let you take the child and leave the palace. Look at what you've been taught to be like? You don't have the slightest bit of compassion, copy the scriptures hundreds of times, if you want people to be tired to death then just say it, there's no need to use this kind of torture." It turns out he knew it was torture. The first time I went to Linh An Pagoda, the weather was so cold that my hands were so frozen that I couldn't stretch them. The pagoda was built in a hidden mountain place where the sun is not visible all year round. The lime walls were patchy and peeling, the roof tiles were riddled with holes, and wind and snow rushed in from all directions. The abbot is a nun over forty years old, with the dharma name Tinh An. She led me into the main hall while I was still shivering from the cold. Vinh An cried until he couldn't breathe. "Later, you kneel here." Tinh An pointed to the stone slab in front of the Buddha statue, cold and hard, "Every day copy the sutras hundreds of times, chant the sutras thousands of times, pray for the blessings of the king and the queen." I looked at the sutra cover covered with dust and cobwebs, on which was placed a stack of thin yellow paper and a brush that had mostly fallen off. "Abbot, I'm still in confinement, my lower body is still bleeding... maybe..." "Impossible." Tinh An interrupted, "You are an abandoned queen, so you should clearly understand your status. The Emperor's refusal to grant death is a great favor. If you don't copy enough sutras, don't expect to eat." She glanced at Vinh An in my arms: "This child is also a cruel breed, since he brought it, he will take care of it himself. The temple does not support surplus people, until he grows up, he must work." On the first day, I copied scriptures from morning to night. Recurrence of cold-induced hand ulcers, pus-oozing ulcers. When he held the pen, blood and pus mixed with the ink, streaking dirty streaks on the yellow paper. Tinh An saw this, used a ruler to hit the back of my hand: "Dirty scripture, copy it!" I knelt down to copy, the blood from my body seeping through the thin skirt, leaving a dark red mark on the stone. When it was time for dinner, a young nun brought two stone-hard mantua and a bowl of water. "Hurry up and eat, after eating you have to continue writing." The little nun spoke softly, her eyes showing a bit of sadness. I grabbed the tofu and ate it greedily. Being in confinement is already weak, and kneeling all day makes me so hungry that I feel dizzy. After just a few bites, Tinh An walked in. "Who fed you?" She snatched the mantau from my hand, "Have you finished copying the sutra yet?" "There are still twenty turns left..." I said weakly. "Then finish copying and eat." Tinh An threw the mantou on the ground and trampled it, "It's a waste, it's forbidden to eat tonight." I looked at the mud-stained mantou, tears welling up in my eyes. "Abbot, I'm still breastfeeding, if I don't eat, I won't have any milk..." "What does it have to do with me?" Tinh An laughed coldly, "The race you were born with is up to you." She walked up to the scriptures, flipped through the scriptures I had copied, suddenly grabbed the whole stack, and tore it up.

crumbs: "Ugly words, insincere heart! Everything doesn't count, write it down!" I watched her throw all my day's effort into the brazier. The fire that swallowed the yellow paper also swallowed the last ray of hope in us. That night, I copied the scriptures until midnight. Vinh An was so hungry that he cried. I put my finger in his mouth. He tried to suck but there was no drop of milk. He cried even more bitterly. I also burst into tears, tears falling onto the paper, smearing the ink. "Sorry... Vinh An... mother, I'm sorry..." After that, I began secretly writing letters to Chu Hanh Chi. I wrote that the temple was too cold, and Vinh An was beaten. I wrote down the blood that kept flowing under my body and asked if I could invite a doctor. It's too much for me to copy the sutra a hundred times, so please reduce it by half. I wrote a lot of letters, asking a young nun who often went down the mountain to buy items to send. The little nun nodded every time, but there was no response. Until one day, Tinh An took an envelope and rushed into the main hall. "Very good, you dare to secretly write a letter to the emperor!" She threw the letter in my face, "You think the emperor still cares about you? Now in his eyes, there is only the queen!" She read my letter aloud: "I have been bleeding for more than a month, Vinh An is coughing non-stop... begging the emperor to show his kindness..." She read a sentence, and the nuns next to her laughed again. "The queen is so weak." Tinh An sarcastically said, "What's wrong with a little blood? It's okay if you don't die. As for that cruel guy, just die and don't waste your food."