Chapter 7 — The Sinner in the Night

Admitting that there were loopholes in the management of the status of newborns at night, admitting that the early stages of handling were one-sided, causing serious harm to me. The head of the nursing department apologized to me in front of the entire department. "On Chi, sorry, we didn't protect you well at first." I stood in the conference room, looking at each familiar face. Some people feel guilty, some people avoid it. There are still people who still feel that I know how to make a fuss and tear down the hospital's reputation. I just said one sentence: "A newborn's bracelet is not a piece of plastic, but a child's life. Anyone who criticizes the process as being troublesome should not go near the delivery room." The meeting room was quiet for a long time. Lam Man Thanh had her nurse practice certificate revoked and was placed in judicial proceedings for many crimes such as suspicion of child kidnapping and falsifying medical records. Chu Nghien Than was investigated for participating in falsifying evidence, violating personal privacy, inciting family conflicts, forced extortion and many other issues. His mother came to the hospital looking for me once. She pulled my hand in the lobby, crying until her whole body trembled. "On Chi, Nghien Than knows it's wrong. He's just confused, he can't go to jail." I looked at her. That same year she threw a bag of baby clothes on my bed. She said: "If a woman can't give birth, is she useless?" Now, she cries and begs me to save her son. I pulled my hand away. "Diep Hieu Ninh almost lost her son. Tran Lo almost killed the wrong person. I almost had my life ruined by your son."Her lips trembled. I continued: "He wasn't confused. He just didn't expect to lose." The divorce procedure took place very quickly. The house my mother left behind was confirmed by the court as my personal property. The lawyer also helped me collect the money that Chu Nghien Than transferred to Lam Man Thanh during the marriage. During that time, I slept very poorly. At night I often dream about the crack in the door of the surveillance area. Dreaming of Lam Man Thanh cutting off her bracelet. Dreaming of Tran Lo rushing towards the phone, hiding a da.a.o in his pocket. Dreaming of Chu Nghien Than standing behind the crowd, gently saying: "Chi Chi, stop trying so hard." I went to see a psychiatrist. The doctor said, I'm not weak, but I've been through trauma. Before, I always felt that nurses could not fall. Patients need care, family members need explanations, doctors' orders must be carried out, and night patrols must not be missed. We are used to swallowing our fatigue. Used to laugh and say it's okay. But this time I don't want to pretend anymore. I took half a month off. Eat the same meals every day, go to the market to buy vegetables, and dry blankets on the balcony. Co Hoai Am called me several times. She spoke very straightforwardly. "Don't drink instant coffee all the time, it's bad for your stomach." "I've seen the waitress report, it's okay to write, just a bit of nonsense." "On Saturdays, when you're free, come to my house to eat, my daughter-in-law packs Thai vegetable dumplings." The first time I came to her house, I was a bit formal. Ms. Co's husband poured tea for me, smiled and said: "Normally she compliments people with four words at most, 'good' is already very high." Co Hoai Am glared at him. "Many words." I couldn't help but laugh. Halfway through laughing, my eyes suddenly sting. After my mother passed away, it's been a long time since anyone took care of me eating like that. When I got home that night, the rain had stopped. The lights of the old house light up. I stood at the door, looked at the house number, and suddenly said softly: "Mom, I can keep it." 10 Half a year later, I returned to the night shift. The obstetrics hallway still has that familiar smell. The smell of antiseptic water, the smell of milk, the steam in the hot water room, and the condescending sounds of family members talking. The newborn monitoring area has changed to a new system. The bracelet compares two codes, RFID real-time alerts, opening the incubator lid requires two people to confirm. All backup business cards are canceled. At each handover between mother and child, nurses, pregnant women and

Family members compare names, gender, time of birth, and footprint codes. Some people secretly complain about trouble. I heard it and only said one sentence: "It's better to be troublesome than to carry it wrongly." That night, I received a premature baby girl. Weighs less than four pounds, cries like a kitten. The baby's mother had high blood pressure and was born by cesarean section. After surgery, she remained in the monitoring room. The child's father stood outside the glass, so tense that his hands were glued to the window. I changed diapers, took the baby's temperature, and compared the baby's bracelets. Each step is slow and steady. At three o'clock in the morning, the baby's blood oxygen suddenly dropped a little. I immediately notified the pediatrician, adjusted my position, cleaned my mouth and nose secretions, and re-measured my blood oxygen. Five minutes later, the index increased again. The child's father was outside so impatient that he was about to cry. I went out and told him: "It's stable for now. The doctor has already looked at it. We'll keep a close eye on it tonight." He kept saying thank you. I looked at him, remembering Tran Lo's bloodshot eyes. Same father. One person is pushed to the edge by lies, one person is firmly supported by the truth. So many stories, the difference is just one line of notes, one comparison, one process that cannot be omitted. Later, Diep Hieu Ninh took her child for a follow-up examination. The little boy grew up very well, his face was round, he grabbed my nurse's shirt and wouldn't let go. Diep Hieu Ninh smiled and said: "The boy seems to miss you."