Chapter 7 — The Wife I Rescued In The Snow

My heart felt like it had been slashed by a piece of glass. It hurts so much I can't breathe. Divorce. She said she wanted to divorce me. I looked at her, but she avoided my eyes. Inside the house and outside, everything was dead quiet. Everyone looked at Hua Huong Quan. Wait for him to make a decision. Time passes every second and every minute. Hua Huong Quan's face kept changing. In the end, he seemed to have lost all his strength and waved his hands tiredly.

“Okay.”

He gritted his teeth and uttered one word.

“I agree.”

The piece of glass in Hua Tue's hand fell to the ground with a tinkling sound. Her body staggered, almost falling down. I instinctively wanted to step forward to help. But she took a step back, avoiding my hand. It's like there's an invisible wall between us. That wall was built by her own use of the word "divorce".

09

Hua Huong Quan left. Bring along Hua Tue. The black Shanghai car, just like when it arrived, quietly left the village. Leaving only a layer of dust and people still in fear in the yard. I stood in the middle of the field, like an idiot. Looking at the direction of the car, it disappeared for a long time. Before getting in the car, Hua Tue did not look at me once more. Her decisiveness was like a knife stuck in my heart. I know she did it because she wanted to be good for me. Using divorce to completely cut off the relationship between me and her. Help me safely escape this storm. But I'd rather she not do that. I'd rather she be a little selfish and drag me down to hell with her. It's better than now that I'm standing alone in the sun, feeling colder than when I was in the snow. The village chief got up from the ground, walked to my side, and patted my shoulder.

“Tham Son, don't think anymore.”

He sighed.

“If you're not from the same world, you can't force it.”

“She did that to save you, and also to save our whole village.”

I said nothing. People in the village also gradually dispersed. But what does all this mean to me? My family is back to the way it was six years ago. Even more empty than six years ago. In the house, there are her silhouettes everywhere. Next to the stove is the apron she used to use. On the windowsill are green onions she grew. There was still the pillow she used to lie on on the bed, and the faint scent of her hair still lingered on it. But she is no longer here. My world was instantly empty. In the days that followed, I was like a walking corpse. During the day, I lock myself in the house. At night, I went up the mountain, ran with all my life, and risked my life to cut down trees. Until he was exhausted, fell to the ground, and looked at the stars in the sky. I remember her again. Remember her eyes when she first told me:

“I will marry you.”

Remember her back holding the medicinal herbs I dug up and dried in the yard. Remember the look of her attentively reading a book under the light of an oil lamp. The six years we spent together were like a movie, constantly playing over and over again in my head. The more I think, the more my heart hurts. A week later, commune officials came to me. Is the person who comes to file for divorce. Sent by Hua Huong Quan. They brought along a divorce application signed by Hua Tue. Her signature is delicate yet powerful. I looked at the three words "Hua Thanh Chi". Feeling extremely dazzling. Working officials maintain a clear public-private face.

“Comrade Tham Son, please take a look Go."

“If there are no problems, sign here.”

“This is also for your good.”

Because it's good for me. These four words again. I picked up the pen. The pen weighs a thousand pounds. My hands trembled violently. I took a deep breath and signed my name on the paper. Then I filed for divorce again. Looked at the other officer and said:

“Next year, I want to take the university exam.”

10

Commune officials were stunned by my words and couldn't recover for a long time. He looked at me like he was looking at a real crazy person.

“You? Taking the university exam?

His voice was filled with myth.

“Comrade Tham Son, stop joking.”

“I'm not joking.”

I pushed the signed divorce petition in front of him.

“I signed this.”

“But I also have my rights.”

“Government policy says that as long as you have equivalent qualifications, you can participate.”

He collected the documents and hurriedly left. While walking, he kept shaking his head and muttering:

“Crazy, everyone is crazy.”

I'm not crazy. I'm more alert than ever. When Hua Tue left, she didn't bring anything with her. Under the pillow she used to lie on, I found a cloth bag. Inside are all the study notes she compiled over the past few months. The writing is dense, neat and clear. Every knowledge, every important content is marked with a red pen. This is the path she prepared for herself. Now it becomes my only path. I sold all the valuable things in the house. The fattened pig, dozens of chickens, and all the animal skins I had accumulated for six years. I changed it into money, didn't keep a penny. They all took them to the Tan Hoa bookstore in the district and bought all the study materials they could buy. I locked myself in the house. Just like six years ago, I carried her back from the snow and watched over her for three days and three nights. Now, I keep an eye on her notes. Looking out for our future. I read books day and night. If you feel sleepy, splash cold water on your face. If you're hungry, gnaw a few pieces of dry food. I use the patience of hunting animals to mull over each exercise. Use a hunter's intuition to memorize each formula. There's nothing else in my head. Only university entrance exam. Only find her.