Chapter 15 — They Teach Me To Grow Up By Abandoning Me

And now, I sit alone in an empty, hard-seat carriage. In my ears there was only the sound of rolling wheels. But it's not very good either. But never mind. I closed my eyes. I don't know when I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes again, it was dark outside the window. The phone has more than a dozen messages.

“Where to?”

I replied:

"Still on the road. Tomorrow morning."

“Call me when you get there, I'll pick you up.”

Mother's message:

"Daughter, why don't you answer me? Have you eaten? Are there instant noodles on the train?"

Five messages in a row. I only answered with two words: Then I closed my eyes again. 6:38 a.m. the next morning. The train arrives at the station. I carried my nylon bag— Inside was only a tube of toothpaste and a towel— Stepped out of the station. The early morning air is cool. It was the smell of the Northern city I was familiar with. Slightly cold. Mixed with a bit of oil smoke from roadside breakfast shops. I stood in front of the station gate and took a deep breath. Luc Vien's car was parked on the side of the road, he leaned against the car door, holding a glass of soy milk in his hand. As soon as he saw me, he burst out laughing.

“Mom, this pose of yours—”

“Don't say it.”

“Exactly the type of wanderer.”

“I said stop talking.”

“Okay okay.”

He gave me a glass of soy milk.

“Get in the car, I'll take you home to shower first.”

I took the glass of soy milk and took a sip. I got in the car. Luc Vien started the engine and the car rolled on the early morning street.

“So… you really stood on the street holding a billboard for three days?”

“Two days.”

“Your parents are really…”

“Don't remind them again.”

"Okay, don't mention it. Let's talk about something else — what do you plan to do in the future? I mean that job."

I leaned my head against the passenger seat, watching the scenery outside the window pass by.

"Take two days off first. Then submit your CV again."

“Want to come to my shop?”

“Is your dilapidated store still short of people?”

"There's a shortage. There's a shortage all year round. Especially a shortage of people who can scream."

He tried to imitate my voice:

“King crab special offer 198 yuan—”

He laughed. As the car passed an intersection, I saw a boy standing in front of a newly opened milk tea shop holding an advertising sign and shouting loudly. I looked at him for two seconds. Then turned away. There's no feeling anymore. Come home. The carpet in front of the door was covered with a thin layer of dust. It's been three days since anyone stepped on it. I reached into the slot of the shoe cabinet next to the door to get the spare key— Luckily, this habit hasn't broken me yet. Enter the house. Everything is exactly the same as before I left. Mom's slippers are still neatly placed at the entrance. Dad's tea cup is still placed on the living room tea table. In the corner of the living room, my computer desk still has a light on. Everything seems to be waiting for the owner to return. I threw the plastic bag on the sofa and kicked off my sneakers. Go to the bathroom. Turn on hot water. The moment the steam rose, all the fatigue of the past three days seemed to collapse on him. I stood under the shower, letting hot water pour down from above my head. Shoulder pain. Neck stiff. Hoarse voice. The sole of the foot is torn. Everything was covered by hot water. I put my hands on the wall and bowed my head to let the water flow down my spine. Don't cry. Just standing for a long time. Until the water cools completely. When I walked out, my phone had a few more messages.

"Is your daughter home yet? Is it safe?"

As for my father— Yet my father also texted. This is the first time in three days he proactively texted me. There are only four letter.

“Go home and tell dad.”

I looked at those four words. Then answer two words:

“I'm home.”

After sending, I sent another message:

“Dad, is your leg okay?”

He answered very quickly:

"It's okay, just a skin injury. Come back the day after tomorrow."

He sent another text message.

“Go home… rest well.”

That's all. I threw the phone on the bed. Then lie down. Look up at the ceiling. Things to say... Wait for him to come home and talk later.

“When you left me behind, did you ever hesitate?”

I haven't asked yet. But maybe— Wait until he limps into the house. Wait until you see my face, which has lost two pounds and turned darker. I don't need to ask yet. He understood it himself. Or maybe he doesn't understand. No longer important. Because what these three days taught me is not your so-called "centered education". I can really go on living. It's not because they "let go". It's because I can do it myself. From start to finish, it's all done. It's just that I never had a chance to know before. I turned around. Close your eyes. Also slept peacefully. On my bed. My house. Forget it, we'll figure it out later. Sleep first. Tomorrow's story... Let's talk about it tomorrow.