Chapter 4 — Three Thousand Miles Away From Family

When I walked out of the gate of the training area, my mother was standing under the sycamore tree on the opposite side. She didn't wear makeup, there were two dark circles under her eyes. His first expression when he saw me was very complicated. It wasn't heartache, nor guilt, but anger because she felt insulted. "Jiang Tich Nguyet, your wings are stiff, right?" She just opened her mouth and said that sentence. "Without a word, you ran to such a far place, do you know how worried your family is?" I stood three steps away from her, wearing a camouflage training outfit, the sweat on my forehead had not yet dried. "Mom, I passed the entrance exam here so I came to enroll normally." often." "I'm asking why you don't discuss it with your family." She took a step forward, her finger almost poking me in the face. "Your father's blood pressure has been high these past few days, he has to drink three types of medicine An An and cry every day. Are you satisfied?" I looked at her slightly shaking fingers with excitement, the memory was like a reverse film, showing many images. When this hand took my travel bag and gave it to An An, the movement was decisive, without any hesitation. When this hand gives yogurt, breakfast and new clothes to An An, it always brings a smile. It was also this hand, when I had a high fever when I was fourteen years old, just touched my forehead and frowned and said: "Drink fever-reducing medicine yourself, don't infect your younger brother." "Mom, how long did it take you to get to Van Thanh?" She was interrupted by my sudden question and was stunned for a moment. "By high-speed train, four hours." "How long did it take you to prepare the visa documents for An An?" "...What does that have to do with it?" "When preparing the documents." It took me two weeks to get the visa for An An. Each page was printed in color, and there was also an electronic copy." My voice didn't move at all. "During that time, your documents were on the desk for fourteen days. When I cleaned the room, I moved it to another place three times." "All three times I didn't open it to look at it." Mom's lips moved slightly, as if she wanted to refute something, but in the end she couldn't say it. Because she knew what I said was true. "It took me four hours to get to Van Thanh, but in the past eighteen years, I have never spent four minutes seriously listening to you finish a sentence." The cicadas on the trees were extremely noisy, the afternoon sunlight shining on the white ground. Mother stood in the shade, her lips pursed into a straight line. A long time later, she said something. It's not that I'm sorry, it's not that I'm wrong. "Since I was little, I didn't like to talk, how could I know what I think? An An is so cute, she tells me everything. As for me, I don't say anything, who can I blame?" I bowed my head, looking at some red dirt stuck to the toes of my military boots. Who to blame? When I was six years old, I came home from school and excitedly held up my test with a hundred points and wanted to show it to my grandmother. She was braiding An An's hair. Without raising her head, she said: "Leave it there, mom is busy." When I was eight years old, I was bullied by my classmates at school, and when I returned home, I cried and told my grandmother about it. She impatiently interrupted: "It's just a little matter, can't you solve it yourself? An An has never caused me this kind of trouble." After the age of ten, I stopped talking. No matter what I said, no one listened. "Mom, go home." I took a step back. "I live here very well, you don't need to worry." She looked at my step back, the anger on her face suddenly disappeared, leaving only a look of confusion. But in just a moment, she regained her original appearance. "Okay, you can stay here if you want. After all, you've been stubborn since childhood." "Don't blame anyone if no one cares in the future." She turned and left, walking very fast, just like that day at the airport. Never turned around. In the evening after her mother left, An An called. The bell rang for a long time before I picked up the phone. "Sister, mom is home, crying all the way." His voice was full of emotion.

Feeling angry, like I had just committed something heinous. "How can you talk to your mother like that? Mom worked hard to raise you." I sat on the dormitory's rooftop, watching the lights in the training area in the distance light up one after another. "An An, do you know which school I entered?" "...Didn't you say before that it was a certain university in Van Thanh?" "National University of Science and Technology." "So what?" This school's name doesn't represent anything to them. "Nothing." "Are you calling just to convey a message on behalf of your mother?" He paused for a moment, his voice lowered. "Sister, actually I didn't expect my parents to forget your visa... If you told me, I could help you." "An An." I interrupted him. The word "help" sounded ridiculous coming out of his mouth. "I don't need to help you, nor have I ever helped you." "Over the years, the person who has helped me has always been you." "You help me get groceries, help me submit assignments, help me study. Every time something happens in the house, you help me become someone who doesn't need to appear." "But An An, have you ever thought about it? Why every time a part is missing in the house, the missing part must be yours?" "Why when my parents put four pictures plane tickets, of course the person missing is you?" The other end was very quiet, An An's breathing became a bit rapid.