Chapter 8 — Thuong Nguyet Thanh Ca

The last few words were clearly choked in his throat, but he still gritted his teeth and said them. But his tears betrayed him. Drop by hot drop rolled down his chin, I used my finger to wipe it away, then leaned over and kissed the corner of his red eyes, very close, very lightly. “Who said you two are the same?” Even though there are some similarities in the eyebrows, I have never confused anyone with the other. From the dream to the bottom of the heart, one always dreams, one always remembers, never changes - always Tram Tinh. Mother once said I was an unintelligent fox, but she was wrong. I'm not a stupid fox, on the contrary, I'm the smartest one. There are so many people in this world, so many loves, all my life I don't know who I love or what I want. And we know. We have the courage to let go of the past, and we also have the courage to embrace the feelings of the present. As long as that person is sincere, I will not hold back any part. People often say: "Cicadas rushing into the fire is not worth it." They say cicadas are small, their love is unrequited, they just act stupid and get hurt. But... if at that moment it saw the light, then everything would have responded. (15) Co Phi Tu really died. The soul disperses, the body turns into ten thousand rays of light, disappearing into the human world. On Thanh Kiem Mountain, every time he was mentioned, the elders and disciples could not hide their sighs: "The Emotionless Path is truly the most difficult thing in the world... Even the Immortal Monarch Phi Tu still failed." "That fairy had a pure heart and never had a woman by his side... How could it be like that... Ai..." The chatter was rumbling, Thanh Loan just remained silent, not saying a word for a long time. After that, he crept closer to me, his eyes looking up, sparkling with anticipation, and in a low voice he probed: "Or... shall we leave Thanh Kiem Mountain?" I looked into his eyes, catching a ray of hope hidden deep at the bottom. I chuckled softly: "Okay. Staying here for a long time is getting boring. I heard that you Thanh Loan tribe can fly thousands of miles in just a blink of an eye... I also want to try riding once." Tram Tinh's eyes immediately brightened, he quickly grabbed my hand: "A Doanh's riding last night still wasn't fun?" My face turned red, I raised my hand to push his face that was close to me: "What nonsense are you talking about in the middle of the day! So where do you want to go?" He mysteriously leaned close to my ear, his warm breath tickling my earlobe, making my earlobe tremble slightly: "Go anywhere... as long as it's with you." I held his hand, tilted my head and smiled: "Before leaving, shall we... go to the wilderness?" Desolate Mountain - where the Immortal King Co Phi Tu passed away and died. I know clearly that the story of me chasing Co Phi Tu in my previous life is still a thorn in Tram Tinh's heart. No matter what I say, he always pays attention. Every time I was drunk, or when I was half asleep, he would whisper in my ear and ask me who I loved. Waiting for me to give him the answer he wanted, he would be obedient like a little animal having its head rubbed, soft and sticky. This is not the first time we have come to the wilderness. In his previous life, Tien Quan used to practice in seclusion here. I used to be a "licking dog" and came here to take care of him for a while. He has always been cold towards me, seemingly from beginning to end without any emotions. The most common words he heard from him were: "No need." It's like a chicken egg with no cracks, no place to enter. I did soon let go of delusions. But I know very well that Tien Quan is someone worthy of liking. And I have never regretted the days of chasing that person. It's just that, in this lifetime, I want to love myself a little more. Wanting to try being loved again, with a brightly feathered Thanh Loan, spending simple but happy days. He and I sat shoulder to shoulder on the top of the desert mountain, the fresh morning wind swept away the drowsiness. The lightning had burned the sparse tree stumps here. I was thinking if lightning would strike me directly and would melt like those unlucky trees, when Tram Tinh's soft, ruffled hair brushed against my face. “Are you thinking about him?” He pursed his lips, looking annoyed. Clearly possessing a cold, angelic face, yet time after time he displays a warm and resentful appearance that softens people's hearts, making me - a beauty-obsessed fox - unwilling to be stubborn. I ruffled his hair and smiled softly: "Then why did you want to bring me here?" Obviously, he was most afraid of living in the shadow of Co Phi Tu, afraid that he would be like the female protagonists in the legends of the story, treating him as his body to miss others. He should have absolutely not mentioned anything about Tien Quan, but he deliberately brought everything before me. We began to suspect that Thanh Loan had received some kind of "rebellious love" scenario, thinking we were acting out a "deeply cruel fate". His voice was soft, a bit choked: "A Doanh... actually I don't know... I don't know who I am." Is Thanh Loan the divine bird that doesn't need to think much, only knows how to live by instinct? Or has the cold Immortal Monarch cut off his emotional roots and practiced the path of no emotion? The two of them share memories and feelings. To say they are two people is to say they are two sides of the same being. No matter who lives, the other still exists inside, indelible. That's what causes him to have a kind of contradiction deep in his bones, so much so that it seems like it wants to tear him in half, driving him crazy. "The part is Co Phi Tu, I hope she chooses him. The part is Thanh Loan, I also hope she chooses him. I am a fusion of both... A Doanh, will you... still like me?" His eyes were wet as if soaked in warm water, staring at me without blinking, as if just a blink would make him cry. "When I was Co Phi Tu, I couldn't feel emotions. Even if my heart was inclined towards her, I couldn't express anything, my mind was empty. But when I was Thanh Loan, I could use this whole heart... to love you." The Immortal Monarch moved his heart, only then Thanh Loan could move his heart. Because... they were originally the same person. I widened my eyes, finally truly understanding what it means to "roll my eyes like a bronze bell". My brain completely freezes. Pure white. Repeating only the words "I... I... you... you...". I always thought they were two individuals, just having common memories, but it turns out... everything is "the same", even sudden thoughts can affect each other. Seeing me pointing at him for half a day without being able to say a complete sentence, he decisively removed his mask of perfect docility, his eyebrows rose, and he smiled like an enchanting monster. The face is that of Thanh Loan, the eyes carry the image of Co Phi Tu, overlapping in my eyes - that is the appearance front appearance. He gently lifted my hair, wrapped it around his fingers, curled it round and round, softly asking: "A Doanh know why... I chose to let that body die?" I still didn't have time to react, so I unconsciously asked after him: "Why?" He laughed softly, then turned back to that obedient look and looked at me: "That body is already useless. The demon mind has become... sooner or later it will die." Demonic mind... Lived two lives, but I never knew what Co Phi Tu's demonic mind was. Therefore, I asked him. Thanh Loan looked at me for a long time, smiled slightly, and walked away: "It doesn't matter anymore... From now on, this world... is only me." He tightened his arms and hugged me to his chest, the wind in the wilderness was warmed by the sunlight, I sat in his arms all morning, suddenly realizing - It turns out... in my previous life I had clearly never laid eyes on Thanh Loan, yet he was still infatuated with me, even after I died, he was heartbroken to the point of almost going crazy. It turns out, because I was busy running after Tien Quan... but Tien Quan's heart... was leaning towards him. Such a strange, mysterious feeling... really makes people feel both funny and magical. I was still in a daze thinking, Thanh Loan fiercely turned my shoulder straight, her bright eyes staring at me: "Don't think about him! You can only have me alone!" I tilted my head, raised my hand to touch his now-pink, beautiful face: "Didn't you just say... you were originally the same person? Let me think about it... how about that?" “Are… are you jealous… of yourself?” He reached out and pinched my cheek, his voice serious: "Yes. He's not worthy. You can only like me." Thanh Loan placed her forehead against mine, guiding my soul to mingle with him. The light scent of flowers wafted in the spring breeze, the wind blew across my cheeks, a gentle peace rose in my heart. Body heat is approaching... once you get involved, it's really impossible to avoid. (complete text)