Chapter 1 — A Letter to the Snowy Day

After a night of heavy drinking, Tham Dieu sent me a text message. "Wife, where do you keep the hangover medicine?" I replied, "In the second drawer under the television stand." He followed up, "My stomach hurts so much... where is the stomach medicine?" "The third drawer. There are two kinds, and I wrote the instructions for how to take them right on the containers." He responded, "My wife is so good... when are you coming home?" I lowered my eyes and typed out a single line. "You are drunk. We broke up a long time ago, have you forgotten?"

The other side remained silent for a long time, the screen showing only that he was typing. I set my phone down, assuming the matter had reached its end. To my surprise, twenty minutes later, the doorbell suddenly rang. I assumed it was the food I had ordered, but upon opening the door, I found myself face-to-face with a pair of pitch-black eyes.

"Wife..." Tham Dieu’s gaze was unusually bloodshot, his voice slurred and hazy. "I drank too much, I feel so unwell." Only then did I realize the scent of alcohol clinging to him was unnaturally strong. Without a word, he pushed his way inside, scanned the room, and collapsed onto the sofa. He was tall with long limbs; the sofa was clearly too small for him, and Tham Dieu seemed displeased by this. "You abandoned the spacious downtown apartment to live in a place like this. Pack your things later; I am taking you home."

I looked at Tham Dieu. Under the lamplight, his high, straight brow bone cast deep shadows over his eye sockets. His face, usually so sharp-edged as to appear aggressive, was softened by his beautiful, almond-shaped eyes—the classic face of a charming playboy.

"We have broken up," I said.

Tham Dieu paused, then let out a cold, soft laugh. "Fine, I admit I was a bit too wild in the past, but I will be more careful from now on. Stop pouting." He grabbed my wrist. "Pack your things, I am taking you away."

I pulled away, frowning slightly. "Tham Dieu, you are drunk. I have a boyfriend now."

Tham Dieu paused, then burst into laughter. His eyes swept toward the doorway. "You don't really think that placing a few pairs of men's shoes at the door would make me believe you have a boyfriend, Ky Nhien? We have been together for many years; we know each other too well for these games to be necessary." He stood up and wrapped his arms around me from behind. His long, slender fingers, calloused from years of playing the guitar, slid suggestively into my nightgown. His voice, which had driven countless fans wild on stage, now drifted ambiguously into my ear. "Ky Nhien, we have been together for so long. You know how much you love me, and I know it too. You cannot leave me."

If someone else had spoken with such arrogance, it would have been repulsive. But it was Tham Dieu. I looked at our reflections in the glass across the room; he truly possessed the right to speak such words. With the smell of alcohol swirling near my ear, Tham Dieu nibbled on my earlobe and murmured, "Wife, I have missed you..."

In the next instant, the smart lock chimed. A man in a black coat pushed the door open. "Wife, I am home—" He stopped in his tracks, his gaze landing on me and Tham Dieu, and he asked in a deep voice, "Do we have a guest?"

The first time I met Tham Dieu was at a bar. I was the type of bookworm raised in a small town, strictly controlled by my parents. That night was my first time ever stepping into a bar; my friend had insisted on taking me to see handsome men. The chaotic strobe lights and deafening music made me feel uneasy. Just as I was about to leave, the crowd grew dense, and everyone surged toward the central stage. Then, the music erupted, the cheering nearly blowing the roof off the building. Under the blinding, brilliant lights, I saw Tham Dieu for the first time.

Unlike the other band members who dressed in flashy, elaborate outfits, Tham Dieu wore only a simple black t-shirt. He wore no earrings or chains, his appearance clean and refined, save for a simple silver bracelet on his wrist, yet he instantly commanded every eye in the room. I had never listened to rock music before, but when his nearly perfect face combined with his explosive, aggressive vocals, it felt strangely harmonious. For the first time, I felt the magnetic pull of rock and roll. I didn't leave; I sat there, dazed, watching his entire performance. When he stepped off the stage, girls swarmed him to ask for his contact information. I sat for a long time, biting my lip, not daring to approach.

I stayed until very late that night, but I didn't see Tham Dieu again. My friend said triumphantly, "Well? I didn't lie to you, did I? Felix is handsome!" She added with a sigh, "It is a pity he is so hard to reach. I heard his family is incredibly wealthy and he only plays music as a hobby. Who knows when he will come back?" I felt a twinge of disappointment and regret that I hadn't been more proactive.

When we left, my friend and I accidentally bumped into some drunkards at the door. They wouldn't let us go, demanding we stay to drink with them. When we refused, they grew angry and threatened violence. "You bitches, inviting you to drink is a favor. Don't act so high and mighty—"

I instinctively shielded my friend, bracing myself for a blow. A fair, elegant hand caught the man's fist, the silver bracelet glinting under the lights. Tham Dieu stood tall, looking down at the man, and said coldly, "What is the fun in forcing girls to drink? Drink with me instead." The man tried to curse back, but was cowed by Tham Dieu’s presence and slunk away, muttering under his breath. Tham Dieu watched him leave with a cold expression, then looked down and curled his lips into a faint smile.

"Let's go."

I stared at him, dazed, my heart hammering against my ribs. It was the first time I understood what it meant to have a completely blank mind. Tham Dieu had already turned to walk away. At that moment, I gathered all my courage and did something I had never done before. I ran after him, hearing my own voice tremble with nerves. "Excuse me... I, I was wondering if I could have your contact information?"