Chapter 2 — A Life of Unforgiveness

At eleven o'clock at night, the child in the incubator suddenly convulsed, causing chaos in the intensive care unit. After receiving emergency treatment, the doctor told me - who was on duty outside the emergency room: "The baby was born prematurely, the respiratory system is not yet fully developed, most likely..." She didn't finish, but I understood, perhaps my baby could not live. I couldn't hold back any longer, burst into tears and grabbed the doctor's hand, chokingly said: "Doctor, please save my child... I can take care of as much medicine as I can afford..." "He is the only relative I have left in this world. I only have him left. Please, please save my child..." Even though the doctor and nurse tried to stop me, I still tried to endure the tearing pain at the incision and walked step by step to my baby's incubator. That child is really so small, so small that I'm afraid he won't survive tonight. I placed my hand on the glass, gently touching my child's tiny body as if wanting to give each other some courage. "Dear, try your best! Don't be afraid, I will always be with you." "Where is the baby's father? I just had surgery and can't get out of bed." The nurse accompanying me asked. I wiped my tears and slowly said: "I'm dead." That night, I lived in panic and fear, almost not daring to sleep, afraid that I would wake up and hear that my child was no more. The next morning, when it was just dawn, my breathing gradually became stable. Looking at the tiny baby sleeping soundly in the incubator, I covered my face and sobbed. When I knew I could eat and drink, I put on my coat and took the elevator down to the hospital cafeteria to buy lunch. As soon as I entered the cafeteria, everyone's eyes turned to me. That's right, with this appearance of a human being, not a ghost like this, looking at it only makes people feel sad. "Daughter, where are your family members? These dishes have no substance. After giving birth, women should drink chicken soup." A lady in line behind me couldn't help but shout out a warning. "Mom!" Perhaps realizing my embarrassment, a pregnant woman holding her phone playing the game "King of Glory" quickly interrupted her. The mother forced herself to close her mouth, and the girl apologetically told me: "My mother just talks a lot and doesn't mean anything bad, don't take it to heart." I shook my head slightly, smiled faintly without saying anything. Looking at the mother and daughter arguing, I thought of my mother. If she knew I was suffering this much frustration, she would be very hurt. On the way back, passing by the nurse's counter, I accidentally heard a few people chatting. "Hey, that girl in room 801 is really guilty, there's no one around her. As soon as she gave birth, her baby was as tiny as a kitten, she couldn't even suck milk. I'm worried she won't survive..." "Don't talk nonsense!" The head nurse next to her quickly shouted at her. The intern nurse pouted and mumbled in a low voice: "That's true..." I stood there stunned for a long time. Waiting for them to leave, I slowly continued walking. At two o'clock in the afternoon, Tham Phuc finally appeared. He brought a lunch box with him, and the bag also had the logo of the private restaurant that the two of them often went to. "You must be very hungry, right? Knowing that you can eat again, I specially drove to buy it. I had to wait in line for a long time." He said as he took out the lunch box. Seeing that he was still about to tell the story, I coldly interrupted: "Have you come to visit your child yet?" Tham Phuc fell silent. After more than ten seconds, he smiled wryly: "Wait for me to finish eating, brother." I'll go over there and see.” I pushed away the chopsticks he offered: "Take it, I've already eaten." If I had waited for you to bring food, I would have starved to death.” “That's right, you probably really want me to die, right? When I die, I will make room for your white moon light. But looking at her like that, do you still have the strength to cling to me?" I curled my lips, without any respect, but sarcastically. As soon as he heard me mention Tran Tinh An, Tham Phuc's face immediately darkened. He thought I was being unreasonable, angrily unbuttoned his vest and loosened his tie. “Chu Thu An, when did you become so unreasonable?” I took the fruit he brought and threw it straight at him: "No reason? If the knife doesn't cut your body, of course you don't feel pain! Do you know last night our baby almost didn't survive? I had to sit and wait in the hallway all night, afraid that if I fell asleep I would lose my child!” “I ask you, what were you doing at that time?” “Let me guess — I'm probably keeping watch next to your white moon light, taking care of you, right? Tham Phuc, whose husband are you exactly? That sentence made Tham Phuc's body pause. Seeing that reaction, I was even more certain that I guessed correctly. He coughed lightly and then quickly explained: "Yesterday Tinh An's condition was really too critical. She almost died on the operating table, so I temporarily couldn't care about you and the child." He spoke more and more weakly: "I admit that I was wrong about this." Thu An, rest well, I'll go find the doctor and ask about your child's condition right away." Tham Phuc's presence is no longer important to me anymore. In recent days, he has been continuously bombarded with all kinds of calls. The time spent with me was less than two hours. I've been recuperating for two days. I haven't seen my husband's parents yet. I saw someone - Uncle Lam, whom I haven't seen for more than a year. Uncle rushed over, his feet were still covered in mud, just looking at him he knew he had walked all night to get here. “Our An An has worked hard.” Just that simple sentence... made me burst into silent tears. Over the past two days, I vaguely felt that my emotions were becoming more and more unstable, and I cried more easily than before. Just a small, trivial thing can make me collapse. Now, when Uncle Lam has arrived, I don't need to always be afraid for the little baby in the incubator. It turns out, taking care of a child alone... is so hard. “An An, where is Tham Phuc?” Uncle Lam arrived a long time ago but didn't see any sign of Tham Phuc, so he couldn't help but ask. “Probably dead.” I stared at the dry yellow leaves outside the window, expressionless. Uncle Lam is my stepfather. I was a child without a father, my mother raised me single-handedly, working very hard. The year I met Tham Phuc, I also received news that my mother and Uncle Lam were getting married. As a daughter, I'm happy to see my mother finally find someone she can rely on. I can see that the two truly love each other. But fate is always especially cruel to people who have suffered enough - before even enjoying a few days of happiness, my mother was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. At that time, perhaps my mother knew she didn't have long to live, so she always urged Tham Phuc and me to get married, so she could leave without any problems. My mother passed away shortly after the wedding. When I returned home, she closed her eyes and passed away peacefully. Only then did I understand why she and Uncle Lam insisted on staying hometown again. After my mother left, I was afraid to look back at the memories. Even during Tet, I didn't dare to go home. Only Uncle Lam left in that old house, embracing his memories, quietly living day by day. The young son's condition is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Every time I see a tiny baby lying among a pile of wires and machines, my heart aches like hell. And Tham Phuc is always "busy". Each time he came, he only stayed for ten minutes, then quickly left. That day, I was drinking evil chicken soup brought by Mr. Lam, when I heard a noise outside, like there was a fight. I struggled to stand up and opened the door, just in time to see Uncle Lam punch Tham Phuc hard in the face. He grabbed him by the collar and angrily shouted: "You bastard! An An has ended up like this, and you still have the audacity to flirt with some kind of ungrateful women out there!" "Uncle Lam, don't speak so harshly, Tinh An is not that type of woman." Tham Phuc couldn't help but object. Hearing that, Uncle Lam became even more angry: "I have to beat your shameless moron to death!" I stood at the door, waiting until Tham Phuc was beaten miserably before opening my mouth to intervene. In the hospital room, Doctor Lam asked me if Tham Phuc was seeing someone else? "I went out to buy things, and accidentally saw him pushing a wheelchair, walking in the park with a woman. The two were very close, I still felt embarrassed."