Chapter 18 — After Rebirth, I Won't Marry You Anymore

His throat moved slightly:

“Any day is fine.”

“Don't stand guard in front of the Civil Affairs Bureau gate all night anymore.” I said. “It looks like performance art, affecting urban aesthetics.”

He bowed his head and smiled. But his eyes turned red.

"Okay." he said. “This time I don't watch the door anymore, I watch the people.”

I close the notebook:

“This sentence is a bit corny.”

“Then I'll change another sentence.”

“Let's not change.” I bowed my head and continued to calculate the accounts, the corners of my lips could not help but curl up. “Countryside... but it's okay.”

20 I took it as Chu Chieu Da on the 8th day of the 1st month. The weather is so sunny that it doesn't feel like winter. Chu Chieu Da and I arranged to go to the Civil Affairs Department at nine o'clock in the morning. To avoid repeating history, Tong Chi sent me three text messages last night. First news:

"Do you have your household registration book?"

Second news:

"Do you have your ID?"

Third news:

"Have you brought your brain yet?"

I answered her:

"The first two are loaded, the third is charging."

She sent back a row of laughing emojis. At seven o'clock in the morning, Chu Chieu Da was already at the door of Nam Phong restaurant. He didn't rush me. Just sat in the seat next to the window and ate a bowl of beef stew with tomatoes. My father scooped it up for him himself. There was so much beef that it was piled high like a sect was being founded. My father put down the bowl, his voice was very hard:

“Eat your fill. Don't let my daughter go hungry today.”

Chu Chieu Da nodded:

“I know, please rest assured.”

My mother gave me a small envelope of lucky money: I was stunned:

“Mom, am I this big already?”

“No matter how old you are, you are still my daughter.” She stuffed the lucky money bag into my pocket. "This time it's not about getting married, it's just about doing paperwork. Whenever you want to go home to eat, just go home."

Bridge of my nose:

“I know.”

Tong Chi intentionally came to see me off. She crossed her arms and looked at Chu Chieu Da from head to toe:

"Captain Chu, if you're late again today, I'll make you the new dish of Nam Phong restaurant, called late chicken nuggets."

Chu Chieu Da seriously replied:

“No way.”

Ta Nghien Thanh also came. Camera in hand. He looked at me, smiled very gently:

“Boss Hua, I hope you sign a long-term cooperation contract this time, with clear terms and transparent benefits.”

“Less the smell of a contract.”

He raised his camera:

"Okay. Then I wish you happiness."

On the way to the Civil Affairs Department, Chu Chieu Da drove very steadily. I sat in the passenger seat, holding a bag of documents. The scene outside the window gradually recedes. I remember the day I just came back to life. At that time, I also took this bag and left the Civil Affairs Department. At that time I thought... In this life I will never step into that door again. But living one more time... Not to avoid the same place forever. But to one day be able to stand in front of that place again. Know that you have the right to enter. Also have enough courage to turn around and leave. The car stopped in front of the gate of the Civil Affairs Department. The sycamore tree is still there. Winter has shed all the leaves. Tree branches reach up to the clear blue sky. The front steps are clean. There is no more night. No more cold wind. There was no longer Chu Chieu Da waiting until that morning. Getting out of the car, he walked around to me and opened the car door.

“Hua Trung Uong.” He held out his hand. “Let's go in now?”

I looked at that hand. He didn't say "Don't make trouble." Don't say "You should understand." Don't make me wait. Nor take my decision for granted. I put my hand in his ta.

“Let's go in.”

Inside the hall was still as bustling as before. The dialing screen continuously shows new numbers. Couples holding flowers are taking photos. A middle-aged man was so nervous that he held his ID card upside down. Being patted by the girl next to her:

“Are you marrying me or the national emblem?”

I laughed. Chu Chieu Da turned to look at me. There was also a smile in his eyes. We took the number and sat down to wait. Meanwhile, his personal phone rang once. It's a New Year message from Lam Tri Dao. He took a look and showed me his phone. Then answer only four words:

"Have a good new year."

No more words of comfort. No more lingering on old stories. I raised my eyebrows:

“Aren't you afraid I'll be jealous?”

He replied:

"Yes. But I'm more afraid that you'll have to swallow everything alone."

My heart softens. Still saying:

“Captain Chu, your enlightenment is quite good.”

He chuckled softly:

“It's all thanks to Mrs. Hua teaching me well.”

It's our turn. The employee compared the documents and then raised his head and asked:

“Are you two willing to get married?”

That question is very normal. But I suddenly felt a bit panicked. In my previous life... I also answered voluntarily. At that time I thought... Voluntary means I love him. I was willing to take a step back for him. Be willing to hide all your discomfort. By believing that the future will be better. Only now do I understand... Volunteering is not about being patient to stay. It's me standing here awake. Know what kind of person he is. Also know what kind of person I am. Know that marriage is not a fairy tale. Not even a medal. Know that ahead there will still be arguments, overtime, petty things and the pressures of life. But I will no longer have to sacrifice myself to keep a relationship intact. I looked at Chu Chieu Da. He was also looking at me. The staff asked again:

“Hua Trung Uong, are you willing?”

I smiled:

“Voluntarily.”

Under the table, Chu Chieu Da gently held my hand. His palm was warm.

“Chu Chieu Da, are you willing?”

His voice is very steady:

“Voluntarily.”

Steel seal down. I suddenly remembered that night in front of the gate of the Civil Affairs Department. The thing he stood in the cold wind waiting for... Was not me. It's the past that he thought would never go away. And today... He doesn't stand guard outside the door anymore. He walked in with me. Leaving the Civil Affairs Department, sunlight shined on the red book. In the chat group of Nam Phong restaurant, Tong Chi texted frantically, forcing us to take photos to check the goods. My dad sent a recording. Behind is the jingling sound of shovels stirring pots:

"When you're done, quickly go home and eat! The soup is almost cold!"

I smiled and put the red book in my pocket. Chu Chieu Da held my hand and walked down the steps. He suddenly said:

“Trung Uong, I know you didn't marry a policeman.”

I looked at him. He bowed his head. There is a very thin layer of water in the eyes. Also has a very bright smile.

“I married someone who is still learning how to love me well.”

I squeezed his hand.

“Then learn quickly.” I said. “My personality is normal, but tuition is very expensive.”

Chu Chieu Da burst out laughing: The wind blew through the corn branches. Sunlight falls on our shoulders. I don't forget my past life. But I'm not stuck there anymore. The soup pot of Nam Phong rice restaurant is still on boil on the stove. My parents are waiting for me to come home. Friends are still bustling in the group chat. New orders continue to appear in the application. My life has kitchen smoke. There is a bowl of hot soup. There is a path that I, step by step, reclaimed by myself. The person next to me... is no longer the policeman husband who kept me waiting until late at night in front of the Civil Affairs Department. He is Chu Chieu Da. And I'm Hua Trung Uong. Neither of us was late.