Chapter 17 — After the Cracks, I Become Myself

But reality. In her heart. Only one feeling remains. Like a kettle. Boil too long. Finally cooled. No more burning. Not cold either. Just enough. Exactly the temperature it should be. Eight o'clock Thursday morning. On Nhuoc Van left the house. The weather is very beautiful. The autumn sunlight has a gentle golden color. Stretching along the paved road. Extremely warm. She wears a white cotton shirt. The hair is loosely tied back. No makeup. When going to the beginning of town. She saw Pho Hanh Chi. He stood under an old banyan tree. Wear a thin dark blue jacket. In his hand he held a bag of documents. Been here waiting for you for quite a long time. Saw her coming. He stood straight.

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

The two walked side by side towards the town's only Civil Affairs Department. The distance is not far. Walk about ten minutes to arrive. While passing by Mrs. Phuong's house. She is drying clothes in the yard. Seeing that there was another man next to On Nhuoc Van. She looked a few more times. But don't ask anything. Wen Nhuoc Van also did not explain. The Civil Affairs Department is very small. There are only two working rooms. That day was a working day. People lined up ahead of them. There was only one older couple. Asking about some procedure. Wen Nhuoc Van and Pho Hanh Chi sat down on the plastic chairs in the waiting area. Between two people. One seat away. The file bag was placed on Pho Hanh Chi's knee.

"I've seen the agreement."

He spoke up.

"The terms you wrote down."

"I have no opinion."

The atmosphere fell silent again. A moment later. Pho Hanh Chi called softly.

"Nhuoc Van."

"Before entering."

"Can you say a few more words?"

On Nhuoc Van turned to look at him. His profile face. Compared to two years ago. Much thinner. Chin lines are sharper. The corners of the eyes also appear a few wrinkles that were never there before.

"You say it."

Pho Hanh Chi bowed his head. Look at the back of my hand.

"The past two years."

"I think a lot."

"Think about why I left."

"Think where I went wrong."

"I also thought."

"If I could do it again."

"What will you do?"

He stopped. Then smiled softly.

"Then I understood."

"There is no such thing as..."

"'If I could do it again.'"

"It's all happened."

"It was you who pushed me away."

"It's the truth."

On Nhuoc Van quietly listened.

"I didn't come here to ask for your forgiveness."

"It's not to hold back."

He raised his head. Look at the propaganda posters on the front wall.

"I just want you to know."

"After you left."

"You seriously looked at yourself."

"Those problems."

"It's not just related to Tong Thanh Nghi."

"The way you enter a relationship."

"There's been a problem."

"What's the problem?"

Wen Nhuoc Van asked softly.

"Avoiding communication."

Pho Hanh Chi replied.

"I always think."

"Just don't say it."

"Nothing will happen."

"As long as you don't have anyone else in your heart."

"So the boundary is a bit blurred."

"It's okay."

"I default."

"I will understand you."

"But don't think."

"I'm also human."

"Needs to be proactively maintained by you."

On Nhuoc Van did not speak. If these words. Said two years ago. Maybe she will soften. But now. She just calmly listened. It's like listening to someone tell a story. Belongs to the past.

"Two years now."

"I did a few things."

Pho Hanh Chi's voice became calmer.

"I started going to psychotherapy."

"Once a week."

On Nhuoc Van tilted his head slightly. Pho Hanh Chi seemed to guess what she was thinking.

"It's not because I want you to come back."

"For yourself."

"I don't want to."

"No matter who you're with."

"Using the old method again."

"To hurt others."

Right at that moment. The older couple in front completed the procedure. The staff at the counter calls the next number. Pho Hanh Chi stood up. On Nhuoc Van also stood up. The two walked up to the counter. Bring identification documents. And the divorce agreement. The employee is a middle-aged woman. Wear glasses old man. She carefully looked at each page of the file. Then he raised his head and asked.

"Are both sides willing?"

"Voluntarily."

Wen Nhuoc Van replied.

"Voluntarily."

Pho Hanh Chi also replied.

"Confirm signature."

She pushed two agreements towards them. Point to the signature line. Wen Nhuoc Van held the pen. Calmly sign your name. Then give me the pen. For Pho Hanh Chi. Pho Hanh Chi received the pen. Before signing. He raised his head to look at On Nhuoc Van. Her face. Still as calm as water. He bent down. Sign your name. Staff collected all records. Then give each person a small blue notebook. Divorce certificate. Wen Nhuoc Van held a thin notebook. Open it up and take a look. Then close. Put it in your bag. When the two walked out of the Civil Affairs Department. The sunlight was brighter than when it arrived. They stood on the front steps for a while.

"It's done."

Wen Nhuoc Van said softly. Pho Hanh Chi replied.

"When will you come back?"

"I booked a ticket this afternoon."

He looked at the small street ahead. People in town walked back and forth. The pace of life is slow.

"This town..."

He smiled softly.

"I understand."

"Why did you choose to stay here?"

On Nhuoc Van did not answer.

"Nhuoc Van."

"If later."

"I need your help with anything."

"Whatever it is."

"Just look for me."

He handed the file bag to her.

"In here."

"It's some things I forgot at home."

"I still keep it."

Wen Nhuoc Van received it. Don't open it.

"I'm leaving."

"Be careful on the road."

Pho Hanh Chi nodded. He turned around and walked away. Take a few steps. Suddenly turned around again.

"The works I made..."

"It's really beautiful."

"Especially that Kintsugi cup..."

He stopped for a moment.

"It's the most beautiful thing."

"I've seen it before."

Wen Nhuoc Van stood on the steps of the Civil Affairs Bureau. Quietly looking at his back. Until. He disappeared completely behind the corner of the old banyan tree. She bowed her head. Look at the small blue notebook in your hand. Close the book. I have been reading for many years.