Chapter 5 — After the Cracks, I Become Myself

The next afternoon. On Nhuoc Van returned to Loc Khe. She sat on the train for six hours. Changed another bus. By the time we got back to town, it was almost dark. Mrs. Phuong is standing in front of the gate watering flowers. As soon as she saw her, she smiled and called out:

"Are you back?"

"Are you happy in the city?"

"That's okay."

On Nhuoc Van dragged her suitcase into the house. Dau Bao immediately jumped down from the sofa. Wrap it around her legs twice. Then softly "meow" sound. On Nhuoc Van squatted down. Pat its head. Done putting away luggage. She sat on a bamboo chair in the yard. Silence for a long time. The leaves of the cinnamon tree sway gently in the afternoon breeze. From the kitchen opposite, the fragrant smell of food drifted in on the wind. But in her head. Just one sentence from Pho Hanh Chi.

"You haven't signed the divorce papers yet."

It's been two years. She always thought that all procedures had been completed a long time ago. She signed her name. Place it neatly on the tea table, in the most visible position. There's also a sticky note attached.

"Once you sign it, you can send it to your mother's house."

He never touched it. What does it mean? Wen Nhuoc Van doesn't know. I don't even know how I feel. If it was two years ago. Hear that sentence. Maybe she will soften. But now... Two years living in Loc Khe. She molded herself again. It's like making a piece of pottery. Little by little. Put into the furnace. That new cup came out of the oven. Perhaps not as sophisticated as before. It's complete. It doesn't need another cup. To prove that I can still hold water. On Nhuoc Van took out his phone. Open the chat box that she set to no notification mode. On the way back to Loc Khe. Pho Hanh Chi sent her three text messages. First news.

"Let me know when you get there."

Second news.

"What city do you live in now?"

Final news. It was sent two hours later.

"I know you probably don't want to answer me. But Nhuoc Van, I want to meet you to clarify everything. Not so you can return, but because I still owe you an explanation for the past two years."

Wen Nhuoc Van looked at the screen for a long time. Still no answer. She turned off the phone. Then get under the blanket. Early the next morning. She went to Mr. Tham's pottery workshop. After winning the award. Several galleries and design studios have actively contacted her, wanting to cooperate with her. She still needs more time to consider. But whatever. The work at hand cannot stop either. Wen Nhuoc Van sat down in front of the ceramic sharpening table. Wet your hands. Then place it on the clay block. As the turntable slowly moved. Her heart... Gradually became peaceful. The clay gradually changed shape under her fingertips. From a distorted, uncertain lump of soil. Little by little it is raised. Gradually the shape of a vase appeared.

"My hands are shaking."

Not knowing when, Mr. Tham was standing behind her. On Nhuoc Van bent down to look. The ceramic blank was indeed misaligned.

"A bit distracted."

She pushed the block of soil away and started kneading again from the beginning. Mr. Tham pulled up a stool and sat down next to it, lighting a cigarette.

"Things in the city..."

"Still not resolved yet?"

On Nhuoc Van did not speak.

"No need to tell me."

Mr. Tham took a drag of his cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke.

"I'll just remind you one thing."

"When I'm sharpening ceramics, I feel restless..."

"The baked goods crack no matter what."

"I know."

"It's the same with being human."

Wen Ruo Wan stop the turntable. Looking at the block of clay that I kneaded over and over twice. After a while, she quietly asked:

"Mr. Tham."

"Tell me..."

"An item after breaking."

"If we use gold soldering technique to fix it..."

"That crack..."

"It will become more durable."

"Or more fragile?"

Mr. Tham stubbed out his cigarette.

"We still have to see the craftsmanship."

He looked at her.

"And also have to see..."

"The item itself."

"Is it worth patching or not?"

Wen Nhuoc Van originally thought that. Everything should end here. She did not respond to messages. Pho Hanh Chi will probably understand what she means. She underestimated him. Three days after the awards ceremony. Wen Nhuoc Van received an express delivery package. On the delivery slip. The sender's name is a completely unfamiliar name. Address in Shanghai. Inside there was only one envelope. In envelope. It's a photo. And a letter. The photo is a screenshot of a hotel lobby surveillance camera in Hangzhou two years ago. The lower right corner displays the time. 01:12 am. On Nhuoc Van stood alone in front of the door of room 6018. The suitcase stood right next to him. The paper inside is Pho Hanh Chi's handwriting. So familiar. Fountain pen strokes are neat. Each stroke of the pen is very strong.

"This is you from that night. I only saw it later when I investigated the camera. You stood outside the door for four and a half minutes, and I never knew. Nhuoc Van, I'm sorry."

Turn the letter over. There is one small line left.