Chapter 1 — Better to Lean on Mountains Than a Faithless Heart

Ever since I returned from the brink of death, I have ceased to revolve around the life of Shen Yi-an. When he complained that the medicine was too bitter and allowed his cousin to shatter the ceramic brazier—I simply let him. When he desired to flaunt his whims and watched as she tossed my precious medicinal satchels into the furnace—I indulged him. Even when he recklessly insisted on watching the snow with her under the moonlight all night, only to be carried back to the estate in a delirious fever that left him bedridden for half a month—I remained indifferent.

It was only when the time came to receive my rewards that I chose a simple broadsword instead of the miraculous elixirs I had spent years begging for, weary and tireless. The confident smirk he wore, as if victory were already in his grasp, faltered at the corners of his mouth.

"Sui-yi, you have changed!"

When he intercepted me in the hallway, a sudden breeze drifted through, causing the wind chimes under the eaves to ring with a crisp, clear tone.

"Since when did you become so temperamental?"

Amidst the rhythmic tinkling, his accusatory question shattered into jagged fragments. My hand paused, and I slowly raised my head to look at him. Shen Yi-an was draped in golden robes, adorned with jade and ornaments, standing beneath a sky ablaze with twilight. His posture was elegant, a picture of effortless nobility. Even his thin, pallid frame could not diminish the imposing aura that surrounded him—a stark contrast to the faint scent of medicinal herbs that still lingered on my fingertips.

"Nan-xi is young and playful; you should not quarrel with her. She did not mean to break your medicine furnace, nor did she intentionally set fire to the satchels you gifted me. It was merely... a touch of arrogance, a moment of caprice. She has felt deep remorse since."

"If you are still angry, let me offer you an apology on her behalf."

He waited, anticipating some flicker of emotion upon my face. Yet, I remained so serene that even a perfunctory apology to bridge the gap could not stir a single ripple in my heart. To be abandoned in the depths of a wild forest, nearly losing both my honor and my life, only to be dismissed as a "moment of caprice"—such a hollow apology, light as a passing breeze, was one I dared not accept, nor did I wish to.

Between us, there was nothing left to say.

"Is there anything else?"

The composed, statesman-like facade Shen Yi-an held slipped at those words. "What exactly are you dissatisfied with? The estate paid for that furnace, and the satchels were purchased with the rewards you earned. I have no use for them anymore, so why blame Nan-xi for destroying them? If you truly cannot let go of your anger, I will compensate you with ten, a hundred more. It is of no consequence."

So, this was it. In his eyes, my withdrawal over these past six months was merely a fit of pique, an expression of dissatisfaction. I felt a profound weariness in my spirit. I sighed softly, shaking my head, my voice hollow.

"It is all in the past."

Shen Yi-an froze. I lowered my gaze, adding quietly, "Those trivial matters... they are all behind us now."

His body stiffened, and he seemed poised to speak, but when faced with my vacant, tranquil gaze, the words died in his throat. His eyes drifted down, coming to rest on the sachet at my waist. His tension eased, and a touch of warmth returned to his brow. With a sigh of feigned helplessness, he remarked, "If it is all in the past, then why must you act so stubborn and cause me to lose face before others?"

"Everyone in the capital knows you spent five years scouring the earth for dragon-tendon roots just to heal me. Yet today, you choose a piece of useless steel!"

A useless sword? I found the thought laughable. The imperial envoys were already waiting at the gate; I had no heart left for this charade. Looking directly into his cold, questioning eyes, I spoke with finality: "Did you not say it yourself? Do not use the excuse of treating your injuries to persistently cling to your side."

"Your body was a gift from your parents, for you alone to decide its fate. I am merely an outsider; what right do I have to meddle and waste my efforts? Everything the Heir has taught me, I have followed to the letter."

Hearing this, the softness in his eyes hardened into frost. "Are you still at this? The past is gone; Nan-xi was only a bit impulsive. But to be fair, haven't you always intentionally targeted her?"

Targeted her? I took a sharp, cold breath.

When Jiang Nan-xi first arrived at the capital, I had already spent three years in the estate. For over a thousand nights, I had barely changed from my robes, tending to Shen Yi-an’s poisoned body day and night. Brewing medicine, applying acupuncture, preparing herbal baths, purging toxins—I had even acted as a human vessel to test the efficacy of the cures. Every single action was performed by my own hands. Only when I was certain there was no margin for error did I dare apply them to him.

The struggle was plain for all in the household to see. The Duke was a man of honor; he had promised my master that if I saved his son, I would be granted a life of peace. He kept his word. When Shen Yi-an could finally stand, we were betrothed. At that time, fearing his illness would hold me back, he had asked for my consent with hesitation. He had sworn that Sui-yi’s kindness was carved into his heart, and he would spend his entire life repaying me. That promise had been sincere, etched in his very marrow.

But later... when Jiang Nan-xi entered the estate, it was he who began to weigh us against one another, tilting the scales. Jiang Nan-xi’s mother had been tormented to death by a concubine, and when her grandmother brought her home, she was nothing but skin and bone. It took five years of fine silk and rare delicacies to restore her to the delicate, pampered state she possessed now. Shen Yi-an’s mother felt such pity for her that she sent letter after letter, begging her to move into the estate where she could be watched over.

Back then, I truly believed that because she was so wretched, having lost her mother and endured such suffering, it was only natural for the estate and Shen Yi-an to protect her in every way. When she wanted my quarters because they were closest to his, Shen Yi-an had merely whispered his consolation: "My cousin has nothing left. I consider her kin; what harm is there in letting her be near me?"